A selfish little wedding rant

Jay&Marissa

So someone else that went to my church in high school got married and I saw the pics on Facebook..and I got a little pissed. (Hey Lindsey...ironically this is the girl was dating that one guy with the dark hair your sophomore year...and his sister is the other bride that got married the same day as us)

They guy who did their music was the church's music director...the same guy we were told just doesn't do weddings anymore because he wants to spend time with his family...and I've heard he kind of has a snotty attitude lately because of his success. And this is the same guy that stood us up when we were supposed to meet with him about our music in general...we were told it was a requirement. I set up the meeting months in advance and Jay stayed in Dallas an extra day so we could do it. Apparently he was up late with a baby...which is fine...but he didn't even apologize when I emailed him a few days later to try and get the info we needed.

The church always had a little "clique" of the "chosen" ones that my family and some others were just never part of...even though myself and 3 of my siblings went through the high school youth program and were active members. That's actually where Jay and I met. His mom actually got a ton of money donated to the mission trip, which is probably the only reason they ever kept track of Jay.

At any rate, it just annoyed me because we were snubbed a little on our wedding day by our youth ministers (who work with the music director) too. We invited them, they RSVPed, and after the ceremony they told us that they couldn't come to the reception because they hadn't looked at the invitation well enough to realize it was that evening and not immediately after--they had the wedding of another girl who graduated a few years before me to attend. Even though we sent out Save the Dates in December. I mean, I kind of understand...but thanks for making us pay for plates that we didn't need to...no gifts either.

I'm sure none of it was intentional...but it just pissed me off.

TexanTreasure08

I have a feeling I'm going to have quite a few people RSVP yes and then flake out for our wedding. I already know I'm gonna be pissed. Rant away cause I'm sure I'll be doing that next year!

MissAngel

That sucks
I still have the problem where my cousin can't decide if she wants to get married on the same day as us or not and I'm like wow... please... 8 months, 2 weeks, and counting and you don't know?  If you make me pay for 100 extra portions for side of the family I'm going to be pissed!  That side of the family doesn't RSVP (like ever) and so my mom said we have to expect that they will be there so we have to order it "just in case".
I know it won't make you feel any better, but the one year I did weddings there, I had never seen him do music for any of the weddings... They must have been really close and said person/family must still be active in the 'inner circle' or parents where campaigning.

Also, the contact person usually puts a stop to most requests 'on spec'.  Not sure why, but that's how it works.  I worked with a few brides where their mother had to fight for the fees charged, room booked, etc. 

juliebug1997

I felt the same way with a friend who didn't come.  It hurt me a little inside because there were so many other people I could have/would have invited if I had known. 

However, the music thing wouls seriously piss me off and I think I would call the priest and tell him about your experience.

Jay&Marissa

Ehh...we were happy with what we ended up with music-wise. Dude probably would have charged an arm and a leg too. Just felt snubbed in general. Another family I was ridiculously close to (also involved in the high school ministry) didn't RSVP because we didn't invite their 4 children and the other girl did. So they did the same thing as the youth ministers. I really appreciated them coming to the ceremony, but I was amazed this particular couple didn't come...I knew them WAY better than the other girl and babysat for their kids for years.

St. Anns is too far away from us now, but even if we were closer, we might have looked into other parishes. It is an amazing church, but the cliques and occasional materialism bothered us. They do building projects all the time that poorer churches in Dallas would dream of doing once in 50 years.

But it is still the place Jay and I fell in love, so it will always be special to us.

It's also really nice to go to a mass that is under 1.5 hours

lindzi375

Ooh geez! I really can't believe that! It's sad that they have to favor people. It seems to be people that live in Coppell too! I really did want to get married there but it was so difficult! I talked to other churches where I wasn't a member and they were so welcoming and inviting. We went to St. Ann's for nearly 10 years and were active members but since we aren't members now they won't let us get married there without waiting 3 months first and then figuring out a date. AND they said they let non-members marry there but they already met capacity on the non-members that are getting married there in 2011. LoL I thought that was kind of strange.

Anyways, it is a great church but I totally understand what you're saying Marissa! At least we have our memories there and like you said it will always be special since that's where you met your dear husband! BTW I remember that like it was yesterday!

Oohh and PS I'm pretty sure I saw your family at St. Philip's this past Sunday!

mandasue178

That sucks. Unfortunately I think it happens in many churches. I've been "in with the in crowd" and on the outskirts. I never realized how bad it was until we changed churches and I wasn't "popular" anymore. It really is sad.