Ok ladies, I've got a small bit of drama in my life currently and I need some opinions. This post is very long and has a lot of backstory because I want to clarify things as much as possible to get y'alls honest opinions.
As I may have mentioned previously, things between myself and FI's best man have been rocky for quite a while. We've always had a very strained relationship, with him always being very rude toward me whenever FI is not around and me (being myself) being snarky right back. I thought maybe it was jealousy issues becauuse he was alone or whatever, because as far as I know (and I've asked him several times) I've never done anything outright to make him dislike me so much.
In mid-June, about a month after FI and I got engaged, Best Man comes over to FI's house where I was visiting for the weekend. It was 2:30am, we were already in bed, and Best Man was fairly drunk. He asks FI to wait downstairs, then proceeds to come upstairs and lay down in the bed next to me and try to have a conversation. Aside from the total weirdness of rolling over to see NOT FI in bed next to me, the conversation basically went like this:
Him: "So yeah, you know how we're always really mean to each other?"
Me: "Yeah..."
Him: "And everyone always says it seems like I hate you?"
Me: "Uh huh..."
Him: "Well that's because I do. I hate you and I don't understand why J is with you. I never understood why he stayed with you so long and I always thought he could do better than you."
Me: stunned silence.
He then proceeded to ramble on about some other crap for like 20 minutes, and then he left, at which point FI came back upstairs, I gave him a quick rundown of the convo, and then cried myself to sleep.
Things after that were really awkward, because he never openly acknowledged the conversation to me, yet he texted FI to apologize for it! And when FI told him he needed to apologize to me, he said he would, but never has.
Fast forward to mid-December, I'm in town for FI's childhood neighbor's wedding. FI is out drinking with the groom, and I'm at Best Man's house playing cards with him, his roommate, and one of my bridesmaids (FI's cousin). We're snarking back and forth about some topic of conversation or another (education (I'd just graduated with my Masters that afternoon) and money (how he is rich because of his dad- this is a fact, not just my opinion). And all of a sudden he goes, "Well you know what I think? I think you're a fat b*tch." Cue the awkward silence.
I went to pick up FI from the bar because he was a bit tipsy and didn't want to drive, told him the story, and all the while Best Man is texting him saying "Oh man I just really screwed up, I shouldn't have said that I'm sorry." Again, never apologizing to me, even when FI told him apologizing to him wasn't going to fix anything.
So at our Engaged Encounter weekend (mid-January) I told FI I would try to work things out with Best Man because they have been friends since elementary school, and I know he's tired of all the awkwardness. I text Best Man on Friday night to set up a meeting for Sunday, he says ok. Saturday night he texts and says "I really don't think we need to talk things out, I shouldn't have said what I did but let's just move on." I told him FI was tired of it affecting things (the upcoming FAMILY cruise that this d-bag somehow wormed his way into, wedding planning) and Best Man said he didn't think it was affecting things, that the relationship between me and him might not be great but that's because I'm a whore (paraphrasing here, because that is a WHOLE other story that took place over 2-3 days 2 and a half YEARS ago). I called him a pretentious bastard, and he said he was looking forward to our wedding. I promised him I would do everything in my power to make sure he wasn't in the wedding, or even AT it. He said he would continue to support Jeremy.
SO. The question: Am I in the wrong here? I'm finally typing this NOVEL to ask for opinions because FI, Best Man, Bridesmaid/FI's cousin, and I are all supposed to have dinner tomorrow night to figure out travel logistics for the cruise we're going on in 2 weeks (we're all riding down together and he is supposed to drive). Even if he apologizes at this point I probably still wouldn't forgive him (knowing his true feelings), but I would at least be civil toward him.
Keep in mind, he's never said anything mean to me in front of FI, but he always apologizes to him after the fact without ever actually telling FI what he said- I always have to fill him in.