For the Fathers :)

bigbabyface

So I've looked on our local board and havent seen anything recently about it. And honestly i'm intimidated a little bit by the national boards. lol.

I recently ventured into Tuxedo Junction to get everything picked out or just mostly priced. I don't want to wait until last minute to START looking. By no means will they be renting tuxes until probably 2 months before the wedding. But the gentleman helping us told us that the father of the groom usually matches the father of the bride. I don't know if he's just trying to get more tux rentals or what though??? How did you ladies go about it? Did they match or mismatch?

Of course, my dad will be in the spotlight more than his dad (as he's walking me down the aisle), but we wanted everyone to look cohesive and so that all of the dads were wearing the "dad" tuxes and it will be easier to identify them that way. So i'm liking the idea of matching anyways. But i wasn't sure if this was a custom?? Do they usually match? lol 

Tiffany618

Ours matched... no idea if it had anything to do with a custom or not.

bigbabyface

Well, I'd prefer to have them either match each other, or have matching tuxes and have ties that match the mothers (i have no idea what they're wearing yet).

Because FI parents are divorced, and his mother has a BF. (He's very nice and will for sure be at the wedding) I'd really like to distingiush FFIL as "Dad". Ya know? But I wasn't sure if it was "custom" to do that. As my FI thinks it's just weird.

courtski2004

We'll ask my dad and FFIL to rent matching tuxes. He (FFIL) won't be pleased to hear that he can't wear his bib jean overalls to the wedding, but FMIL wasn't happy to hear that she would have to wear a bra. Who would have thought that bringing them into public would be so fun!?

Tiffany618

I wouldn't worry about matching them to the mothers, honestly.    Our mothers didn't definitively decide until a month or so beforehand.  (Actually, my Mom bought had 3 different outfits and probably decided which to wear the morning of the wedding, lol)

bigbabyface

Court- honestly i'm a little worried haha. FMIL is very "young spirited" and "in style". Not that i'm worried about her wearing something that shows something that should not be shown, but i'm a little nervous about it being appropriate lol.

Tiff- I have NO idea what they'll be wearing. Nor have they asked what the formality of it should be....we'll probably end up waiting till the day of to find out what they'll be wearing haha

MarieSD

My mom has called me several times worrying about this already (for my father's sake). According to what she's read (although I have NO idea what her sources are, and if they're credible or just the first result she found), the fathers should "match" in terms of both wearing suits or both wearing tuxes. And which they wear should depend on whether the groom (and his groomsmen) are wearing suits or tuxes.

So, we'll be suggesting to the fathers that they rent a tux or wear a black suit, based on my FI finally chooses, but they won't be getting the exact same one. And we won't be specifying the vest or tie colors or anything like that for the fathers.  And they definitely don't have to wear what we suggest, either.

Oh, and if you're wanting the fathers to look special/stand out - we're getting both dads a (small, white rose) boutonniere. They will be the only men at the party that get a flower, so I think that'll definitely mark them as fathers of the bride/groom.

fallbride1109

All of our guys wore the exact same tuxedo, including Ben's dad.  The only thing different was that Ben had a bigger bout.  It never occurred to me to care about it one way or the other.

As for ties matching the mothers--yeah, I see all kinds of problems with that.  My MIL wore purple.

bsn1752

My dad and FFIL will be matching the groomsmen as well.

HTH!

juliebug1997

Bill had the only tux that was different--cream colored vest.  The rest had a black vest.

bigbabyface

The more I think about it, the more I'd like to ask them to wear at least matching tuxedo's. I'm glad to see alot of weddings have this.
 
My father has a twin, and since FI parents are divorced and his mother has a long term BF (about 3 years in, so he'll be at the wedding) I don't want any one from either family seeing my fathers' twin, or my FMIL's BF as "dad". I can see that happening on both ends, so to have them marked as "dad" for a day would be nice

angieandjames

My dad and DH's step dad both wore tuxes with black vests.  His father is deceased, and he considers his stepdad to be his dad, even though he and his mother are divorced, and she's remarried.  I did not offer the new husband (we don't refer to him as step dad) the opportunity to wear a matching tux.

And regarding the formality of the FMILs... I was super stressed about this as well.  DH's mom didn't ask what she should wear until the week of the wedding.  Her dress ending up being fine, although maybe a little less formal than I would have preferred, but still pretty.... but she immediately changed into jeans and houseshoes for the reception.  So, all the mother-son dance pictures?  A teensy bit embarrassing for her, I think.  But I'm indifferent

mseale

My father wasn't present, but my brother (walked me down the aisle and a groomsman) wore a tux.  FIL wore a tux too.  DH had a cream vest, groomsmen/ushers had a silver vest, and I think FIL had a black vest.