SA Wednesday

shortgirltx

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:bf9d34b6-e86b-4c5b-b7ed-ba70ceb37899Post:2e107234-cd3d-4891-9556-0e93848b05c9">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]That being said, I think a man who is not involved at all.... like literally has no interest in even setting a date.... is a BIG red flag.  Posted by Tiffany618[/QUOTE]

I have a male friend who has been engaged since summer 2009 and they have not done a single thing.  He will tell you that he just wants to go to the courthouse, which the woman is fine with but then he says the opposite of him being ready but then he has "married" as his status on FB and myspace and all of those things.  He turns 29 this year and they have a 3 year old.  Part of me wonders if he proposed because he felt pressured to.  She would marry him in a heartbeat and I find it sad.  If he doesn't want to be married, tell her that.  She may be perfectly fine with being GF/BF for the rest of her life but at least give her a choice in this (she technically does because she doesn't have to stick around) and don't give her false hope.  I have a bunch of wedding information saved for him when I see him next ;)

shortgirltx

I guess I hit the jackpot on the groom selection.  We did everything together (minus dress shopping and alterations); sure I carried a huge weight most of the time because he didn't quiet understand that there is a lot to do but when he finally grasped that, which was about a month before the wedding, he took over big time.  But then again, he wanted the wedding so I wonder if it was to make sure we didn't elope, LOL. 

bethlovesjim

I heart cakeballs!

DFWIndian

In Response to Re: SA Wednesday : Amen to this!!  Sorry I'm late... crazy day. Brianna - Congrats  & High Five!!  I had pretty much everything done early as well and it is SOO nice to be able to sit back and kind of enjoy all of the events without 1000 thing son your mind. Re: Men's interest - I think it depends on the man.   Mine didn't care about what colors we used or what the cake looked like... he cared what the food tasted like, what the cake tasted like, and how we were doing on budget.   Those are his interests... investments and food.  Haha. That being said, I think a man who is not involved at all.... like literally has no interest in even setting a date.... is a BIG red flag.
Posted by Tiffany618

Completely agree! My FI has actually been great! He's helped with anything I've asked him too. He was the one who actually picked our wedding date. I would have wanted something sooner, but I can deal with our anniversary as our wedding date. I think there needs to be a little more communication here.

serlace

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:bf9d34b6-e86b-4c5b-b7ed-ba70ceb37899Post:66f6ecc1-fb53-40d0-8720-701d7b7ebf8c">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I hit the jackpot on the groom selection.  We did everything together (minus dress shopping and alterations); sure I carried a huge weight most of the time because he didn't quiet understand that there is a lot to do but when he finally grasped that, which was about a month before the wedding, he took over big time.  But then again, he wanted the wedding so I wonder if it was to make sure we didn't elope, LOL. 
Posted by shortgirltx[/QUOTE]

We did most things together.  DH even came to one of my dress shopping days.  We went to two places.  He picked our date.  He wanted to add green to our colors.  He picked our photographer.  He was involved in pretty much everything, but it's because I would narrow down the selections first.

Quick story:  He toured every venue with me.  The very first venue we toured was very nice.  It was in our price range - until you added chair and table rentals, etc.  I remember driving off after the tour, DH said - that's it, we found the venue!!  I was like are you kidding me, we can't afford that.  He said, but it's $x and our budget is $x.  Yeah, then add chair rentals, etc.  Haha - he was so clueless.  But cute.

bobbileighb

Regarding men being involved I think it just depends on the guy like everyone has said.  Matt did not give a crap about the date at all he just wanted any date.  What he was involved in were the colors, my dress, what he is wearing, the cake, music, and his ring.  He has come with me to every meeting and usually he just said yeah they are fine, but like Brianna if he was against it he spoke up.

angieandjames

Psht.... James didn't care about most of the stuff... He would tell me (nicely) just tell me what time to be, and where, and what to wear.  BUT, he would always listen to my choices or decisions or whatever, and because I was excited, he would show enthusiasm too, just to keep me happy.  Since I knew how much he dislikes planning anything, that in itself was a big deal for him.  So that just goes to show that even with no involvement, a groom can be ready for the marriage without participating in the planning of the wedding.  (Side note:  I had help from my mom and sister with things - I'm sure if I'd needed him to do things he would have.  He just didn't have opinions about much.)

juliebug1997

Bill cared when it mattered to him.  I would tell him what the options were and we'd discuss it it it was something he felt strongly about. 

MarieSD

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:bf9d34b6-e86b-4c5b-b7ed-ba70ceb37899Post:f3e363a0-ea06-42f4-9805-3539149874c2">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Psht.... James didn't care about most of the stuff... He would tell me (nicely) just tell me what time to be, and where, and what to wear.  BUT, he would always listen to my choices or decisions or whatever, and because I was excited, he would show enthusiasm too, just to keep me happy.  Since I knew how much he dislikes planning anything, that in itself was a big deal for him. Posted by angieandjames[/QUOTE]
I feel like you could be talking about my FI here. Haha.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:bf9d34b6-e86b-4c5b-b7ed-ba70ceb37899Post:f3e363a0-ea06-42f4-9805-3539149874c2">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]So that just goes to show that even with no involvement, a groom can be ready for the marriage without participating in the planning of the wedding. 
Posted by angieandjames[/QUOTE]
This is an excellent quote and sums up exactly what I think.

I think every guy is completely different, and so is every wedding planning process. To be honest, I hired a wedding planner to handle most aspects of the wedding reception, so I shouldn't be saying anything about my FI's lack of interest in the details. I opted to have someone else handle that too. But we planned our wedding ceremony together, and we're both looking forward to being married.

nickandmerritt

I don't think you have to plan a wedding to be ready to get married either, but I think the process of handling conflicts around planning and communicating about expectations, etc. is good practice for handling conflicts and other decisions down the line.

MarieSD

I definitely agree with that!

btweety04

So we have met with 2 great photogs and we have to choose. This is incredibly hard, they each have excellent qualities. I don't know how you girls were able to choose, this is harder than picking the venue.

TexanTreasure08

<div>[QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">That being said, <strong style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">I think a man who is not involved at all.... like literally has no interest in even setting a date.... is a BIG red flag.
</strong>Posted by Tiffany618[/QUOTE]</span>

<div>I don't agree that if they don't have any opinions that it's a big red flag. My fiance hasn't picked anything, not even the date, and we're doing great. I tried to get him to pick things, but he just kept saying "do what you want." We could've gone to the courthouse or Vegas that day and he'd be good. The big wedding is really for me (and our families) I guess, and he'll do anything to make me happy. But it's not like he's resentful that we're not going to the JOP. He's so laid back that he's cool with almost anything. I tried to get him to help at first, but I don't like forcing him to do things that he doesn't want to.</div><div>
</div><div>[QUOTE]I hate the idea that men aren't supposed to care about planning most of the wedding. I don't even get where this idea comes from. I'll be honest if FI wasn't equally involved in the whole process I'd be irritated as crap.
Posted by nickandmerritt[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>I don't think it's that everyone thinks that men aren't <strong>supposed</strong> to care, I think that usually they just actually don't care. It's not like that idea of not caring is being forced on them, they're choosing it for themselves.</div></div>

juliebug1997

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:bf9d34b6-e86b-4c5b-b7ed-ba70ceb37899Post:3b344017-486d-4bd4-a8d4-4b2b6bbe680c">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you have to plan a wedding to be ready to get married either, but I think the process of handling conflicts around planning and communicating about expectations, etc. is good practice for handling conflicts and other decisions down the line.
Posted by nickandmerritt[/QUOTE]
This was more about sounding like a complete and utter baby for lack of a better term.  "She won't do anything for me" was pretty much what I got from the post I was referring to.  Your MOH and BM's are not supposed to be at your beck and call.