Creative gift for more established couple

CandyIsGood

Since you are all in the middle of registering, etc., I thought you'd be a good crowd to ask:

One of my best friends is getting married.  They're a groovy, liberal, san francisco couple, and since they're both a little older (she - mid-30's and he approaching 40), they really don't need a lot of the more standard stuff.  They put together a small registry, and I'm happy to buy off that, but given how few gifts they put on there, I'd rather give them something unique and meaningful.  Do any of you have any good ideas?  If I were an artist, I'm sure they'd love something I made, but since I'm not, I can't really go that route.  TIA!!

GoodLuckBear14

Small registries are a hint that if you must give them a gift, please make it cash.  Unique and meaningful in your eyes may wind up being a useless thing that they don't really want in theirs.

caseyandlizzie

Cash would be a good gift for them.  If they didn't register for much it means that there isn't a lot that they need. Anytime I've received something that was "unique" or "meaningful" from the giver, its been donated to goodwill or regifted.

Audrey&Austin

Ditto PP. Most people that create small registries would prefer cash. It might be something meaningful and fun to you, but not to them.

CandyIsGood

Thanks for schooling me on the fact that people like cash.  But this is a dear friend, and I'd like to give her something better.   I guess I could give her $200 -- my max -- but even if I do that, I want to give them something in addition. 

FWIW, the three special gifts I got for our wedding -- a vintage crystal bowl from my great aunt, a handmade book by a friend, and a painting done by another friend -- are, indeed, the ones I remember and love the most.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that perspective.  I guarantee a ton of the crap you register for will end up being rarely used.

Audrey&Austin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:94802824-6f5f-4288-b573-a4a3ec535d38">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for schooling me on the fact that people like cash.  But this is a dear friend, and I'd like to give her something better.   I guess I could give her $200 -- my max -- but even if I do that, I want to give them something in addition.  FWIW, the three special gifts I got for our wedding -- a vintage crystal bowl from my great aunt, a handmade book by a friend, and a painting done by another friend -- are, indeed, the ones I remember and love the most.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that perspective.  I guarantee a ton of the crap you register for will end up being rarely used.
Posted by CandyIsGood[/QUOTE]
Actually, FI and I picked out the "crap" together and are really looking forward to using the things we've already received and whatever we do receive in the future. I would rather someone give us cash than try to think of something creative and unique for us as opposed to the things we picked out as a couple.

CandyIsGood

Blech.  This all falls into the category of different strokes for different folks. But I know my friend, and I know she won't feel as you guys do.  She is much more like me; I absolutely loved those special gifts we received.

My actual question was whether anyone had any good ideas for something special to give.  The answer, apparently, is no -- no one has any such ideas because none of you have any interest in something of that nature.  Everyone who responded would prefer cash in this circumstance.  And I'll take that under consideration.

kellya01

I would love a beautiful candy bowl / dish, an artistic vase or painting that fits my style, maybe a set of candlesticks or a jewelry box.  I wouldn't typically put stuff like that on my registry because either A) stock in stores on those types of items changes so much, or I wouldn't want to seem like I'm registered for something just for me.  A gift like that would e very special to me.  :-)

I understand the hint for cash, but as many PP's on R&G threads say, the small registry is for folks to use who really want to give a tangible gift.  If you don't see anything on the registry that suits what you want to give her, maybe you could do a super-personalized gift.  Did they put a pot, pan, or baking dish on there?  Maybe bake them or cook them a dish that they'd love, include a recipe card box with your favorite recipes, and bring the "dish" over and leave the pot / pan as your gift to them.  I'd love that too!! 

Keep thinking out of the box, and try to accessorize what they registered for... by adding your own personal style!  My SIL received a hand-painted cake plate (with dome top) and hadn't registered for that per-se, but part of the gift was also the super-secret cake recipe from the birthday cake that she had always had growing up and it was one of the most special gifts she got when they got married.  

rainedrop6

What about an experience they can enjoy together. As my DH and I get older (mid 30s too) we have come to realize we enjoy experiences together much more than material items. So here are my suggestions (tried to think outside the box so hope it helps):

 A couples massage, a day trip to a great vineyard with a gift card to get a bottle or two or three , private gourmet cooking lessons, Italian lessons (or wherever they may me going for honeymoon if foreign language), or a golf pro (depending on what they enjoy). A session with a photographer for engagement pics if they are not getting them on their own. Tickets to a fabulous concert or theater production,  season tickets to a local theater company or club level seats to the 49ers game. Maybe an ipod with all their cd's already downloaded to it (i would love this because combined we have about 800 cds and I don't have the time to transfer them all). A first edition book they love. A session with a local artist who can do a personalized painting for them. Paint your own pottery sessions. Old video tapes of them you could have put on dvd.

   

stever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:cc42ed95-7885-4d31-9ee0-0cccdcdf68c7">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]Small registries are a hint that if you must give them a gift, please make it cash.  Unique and meaningful in your eyes may wind up being a useless thing that they don't really want in theirs.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
This.

HockeyFan4

i say go the creative route ....but hey I like being different.

I made this for an older couple for a wedding gift (I spelled out their new last name)...but you can buy them....
http://www.gettington.com/assets/images/spacer.gif

they loved it!

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:64927e22-85b7-473b-bad8-bcfb6c4d5205">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]What about an experience they can enjoy together. As my DH and I get older (mid 30s too) we have come to realize we enjoy experiences together much more than material items. So here are my suggestions (tried to think outside the box so hope it helps):  <strong>A couples massage,</strong> a day trip to a great vineyard with a gift card to get a bottle or two or three :), private gourmet cooking lessons, Italian lessons (or wherever they may me going for honeymoon if foreign language), or a golf pro (depending on what they enjoy). A session with a photographer for engagement pics if they are not getting them on their own. Tickets to a fabulous concert or theater production,  season tickets to a local theater company or club level seats to the 49ers game. Maybe an ipod with all their cd's already downloaded to it (i would love this because combined we have about 800 cds and I don't have the time to transfer them all). A first edition book they love. A session with a local artist who can do a personalized painting for them. Paint your own pottery sessions. Old video tapes of them you could have put on dvd.    
Posted by rainedrop6[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>A massage is the first thing I thought of that is "not on the registry" but they may enjoy.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm sorry you said "this is a dear friend, and I'd like to give her something better" because if a dear friend wanted cash... I'd give it to them. Does that make me less of a friend? Nope. I just love my friends enough to respect their wishes.</div><div>Also, "<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">My actual question was whether anyone had any good ideas for something special to give.  The answer, apparently, is no -- no one has any such ideas because none of you have any interest in something of that nature." </span>after you got 4 responses... you're so awesome, none of us have any interest in your creative gift idea--- NOT TRUE. I would love a creative gift for my birthday, for Christmas, or out of the blue. However, this is a WEDDING gift. It's not just for your friend. It's for her and her FI. Sooooo people are just giving you honest feed back - you asked for their advice, so don't betch about. Man, I wanna be like you when I grow up! </div>

Kristin789

First of all, their SMALL registry does not mean they are saying they just want cash.  That's rude.  See below.

Secondly, we didn't register at all, and we got wonderful gifts that are personal to us and personal from the giver.  Aunt Patsy crocheted us a throw and we use it all the time.  The other women in the office suite at my end of the hallway bought a tulip serving plate and it's beautiful.  D gave us two photo albums, and in addition, she took pics at the wedding and reception and made us a scrapbook-style photo album too.  C gave us a picnic set. 

I've been known to create theme gifts for friends getting married.  For example, I have two friends in New York City who got married OUTSIDE in the middle of the rainy season.  So I sent two umbrellas and a handful of movies and a gift card for a restaurant - to help get through the times when rain must fall. 

The key is that the gift is supposed to match the couple, and remind them of YOU.  See below:

Wedding gifts are supposed to be wonderful and heartfelt and long-lasting, mirroring the giver's fervent hope that the couple's marriage be wonderful and heartfelt and long-lasting.

By inviting these people to your wedding, you've asked your friends and family to be witnesses to your wedding ceremony, and as witnesses, those people are mentors for your marriage. Their gifts represent their acceptance of your request for their mentorship, and their gifts represent their presence in your lives and hearts forever.

When you see/use these gifts, you are reminded that you have a circle of people around you as a couple, people who you can call on, people who have pledged their support of you two as a couple. The following ideas do not match with what a wedding gift is supposed to represent, and in fact, just demand that people give you money instead of a wedding gift:  a downpayment registry, a honeymoon registry, a “donation” to your fav charity, a money dance, a money tree, a greenback wedding or shower (where the guests bring cash), a plastic wedding or shower (where the guests bring gift cards), or an outright request for cash.

Viczaesar

OP, I'm with you in that I prefer gifts that are picked out for me with me in mind, rather than picking out my own gifts.  I'm sure you'll find something lovely for your friend and her SO.  Do they have any particular local artist they enjoy?  I'd maybe go the route of some beautiful but functional art glass object in a color and style that would go with their house or something like that.  Have you been to their house?  Do you know their style as a couple? 

TEA&Co

I LOVE Rainedrop's suggestions and would highly recommend sticking with an "experience" gift if you go this route.  At FSIL's shower a few years ago, the gift that she received that really stuck out in my mind was a gift certificate for a couple's cooking class.  I thought that was GREAT and am selfishly hoping that the gift-giver "regifts" that idea at my own shower.

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:09616042-2252-4b4a-88ac-00faf9cec170">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]I LOVE Rainedrop's suggestions and would highly recommend sticking with an "experience" gift if you go this route.  At FSIL's shower a few years ago, the gift that she received that really stuck out in my mind was a gift certificate for a couple's cooking class.  I thought that was GREAT and <strong>am selfishly hoping that the gift-giver "regifts" that idea at my own shower</strong>.
Posted by TEA&Co[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>hahahah! That's not selfish. (I also like the "experience" gift idea a whole lot)</div>

[Deleted User]

What about a great bottle of wine that will age well?  Something they can uncork on their fifth or tenth wedding anniversary?  You could wrap it up with some nice wine glasses? 

wiwicaty

I also vote for the "experience gift". Something romantic like a day at the Spa or dancing lessons or any other type thing they can do together sounds very personal and enjoyable. I'd love to get a driver for a day that will take us anywhere we want ... this probably sounds silly, alas... I'd love not to have to walk through the crowd and take public transportation for one day, with my FH. Just my two cents

noodle_oo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:5f476df0-8c1c-49f8-9829-36c6a08e7284">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]Blech.  This all falls into the category of different strokes for different folks. <strong>But I know my friend, and I know she won't feel as you guys do.  She is much more like me; I absolutely loved those special gifts we received. My actual question was whether anyone had any good ideas for something special to give.</strong>  The answer, apparently, is no -- no one has any such ideas because none of you have any interest in something of that nature.  Everyone who responded would prefer cash in this circumstance.  And I'll take that under consideration.
Posted by CandyIsGood[/QUOTE]


Um, if you know your friend so well, and know she would appreciate a "special gift", then why the heck are you posting on a message board for complete strangers to give you advice on what to get as a super meaningful, super personal present for your dear friend?

Seriously, do you not see the irony in that? 

NOLAbridealmost

I'd get her a baby marijuana plant in a really nice planter. 

Seems just right for a "groovy, liberal, San Francisco couple." 

Despite being a drug free lady,  I am kind of in love with this idea. 

marinabreeze

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_creative-gift-established-couple?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:0313e49d-be7e-4186-8cc8-e108e94a33fePost:13126804-7875-4b01-8deb-471fac057de5">Re: Creative gift for more established couple</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd get her a baby marijuana plant in a really nice planter.  Seems just right for a "groovy, liberal, San Francisco couple."  Despite being a drug free lady,  I am kind of in love with this idea. 
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]
Lolol :-D, too funny, NOLA!

Kristin789, just no.  The idea that witnesses = marriage mentors is quite antiquated.  And speaking of antiquated, the OP's friend and her FI didn't ask for cash (which would be rude), but their preference is implied by the small registry (which is not rude).  As more people are marrying later in life and after they're already established, couples who already "have everything" are becoming more and more common. 

To the OP, like some PPs, I agree that there's a great deal of irony in the fact that you ask strangers on an Internet board for suggestions for your friend's wedding present, even though you already know she supposedly will want a "unique" gift and the brides on here don't know what they're talking about.  Why post if you already know what will be appreciated?

I agree with Milsey on this.  You have to approach this differently because it's not just for your friend, it's for the couple.  So the stuff that she would appreciate for a "me" gift may not work for an "us" gift.  So try to consider what PPs said with an open mind, and please consider something they <em>both </em>will appreciate, not just her.

CandyIsGood

Thanks very much for all of the great suggestions.  Apologies for seeming rude.  I admittedly bristled at the responses instructing me that a small registry is just a request for cash, and that no one would want something off-registry because "unique" or "special" gifts just go to goodwill.  I feel very differently about that, and felt very differently about the special gifts we received for our wedding, but I do understand that everyone has different perspectives.

BTW, no, I don't find it particularly ironic that I know someone well enough to know they'll appreciate something unique and special, but that I don't know exactly what to get them.  I have ideas.  I wanted more.  Thanks again to everyone for giving me some.

Wiscisbliss

I got some wonderful, thoughtful off registry gifts... and a few off registry gifts that I had to return (a second crock pot, identincal to the one I already owned). 

So if you go off-registry, make sure you know a) the couple's tastes b) that they don't already own what you are giving them. 

Hand-thrown & glazed pottery (vase, centerpiece bowl, etc) might be appreciated.  Or something like this: http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=532678&CategoryID=42352#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D70

Do they have a favorite restaurant?  A gift card for a night out might be nice.  Or if they are wine-os a great bottle of wine would be good. 

One of our favorite gifts was a set of wooden wine stoppers made by our friend. 

NorcalLove

We put together a picnic basket for friends with plates, wine glasses, etc. with wine and some food! They took it on their honeymoon as they drove down the CA coast...

[Deleted User]

If they like wine, you could contact their favorite winery and have a case of wine sent to them with custom lables commemorating their wedding day.  This way...they have plenty of thier favorite wine, and they can pull out their personalized bottles on special occassions (anniversayrs, child births, birthdays, etc).