charity donations instead of gifts??

kristinbvo

My finance and I have been living together for the past 1.5 years. We just got engaged last week!! So since we live together, we got alot of our stuff from his family and goodwill stores, etc. We don't want a lot of stuff and try to keep our living accomidations simple. That said, would it be acceptable to have a list of charities our families and friends can donate to?How many charities should we have? Would it imply we could use the money?

mcskatcat

This question has been asked many times before.  The general consensus is that you should allow people to give you $$, then donate to charity.  Don't tell people what to do with their money, because gifts should never be mentioned - even if it's to say "don't give us gifts."  

Instead, don't register.  Most people will get the hint that you'd like $$, and you can then gift that money however you please. 

Word to the wise though, even as someone who did register and thought I had nice enough things, I have found even in the last 1.5 years since I've been married that I've still needed to buy things like towels, that I now kick myself for not registering for those things.  I would really make sure there's nothing you could use OR nothing nice you could use (for example, if you bake a lot a Kitchen Aid sure comes in handy) before making the decision not to register.

Summer2011Bride

Ditto PP. The consensus here is that you should not make a donation to charity in lieu of favors or ask people to donate in lieu of gifts. If people want to give to charity (and many do), they already have charities they support.

I do agree with PP that you might consider a small registry. There were many items we didn't think of registering for that we have since needed to buy, like a cooler, lawn chairs (not patio furniture but the cheap, fold-up kind), more towels, more glasses, coffee mugs, etc. You might do a small registry for people who still want to give physical gifts.

egm900

Think about the future, people are going to want to buy you gifts, and even if you say give to charity, you will still get gifts, so you might as well pick out some things you like.  I've gotten a lot of hand me downs from my family, and there is nothing wrong with what I have, but I know in the next 2-3 years when we need to invite FI's boss to dinner, I will not want to use the dishes my mom gave me that are this fruit pattern from the late 80s/early 90s, a few of which are chipped. When we received the ones we registered for, we donated the old to charity.  

Look through what you have, figure out what would be nice to upgrade, have extra of, or you still need (one of my friends who didn't think she needed anything deeply regrets not registering for serving pieces).  The sticky note list above is got some great suggestions, and every store we registered at had a list of recommended items.  You can always donate your old items or any cash you receive to charity.

aragx6

Either don't register or make a very small registry and then give all the cash you get to the charity of your choice. It's far less likely to ruffle feathers that way.

Simply Fated

Why do you need to do this? Why can't you just take any cash you do get as gifts and just donate that?

mochapj

We tried to do a charity registry, but most of our guests told us they didn't think it was appropriate for some reason.

I don't understand why...

K&Nick

Last year I went to my cousin's wedding, and if I remember correctly, she had two charities listed as an insert to her invitations, then I think she had two boxes at the reception for each.  She also said please feel free to donate to a charity of your choice which I did.  Since I donated to a charity of my choice it has been nice to get updates from that charity, and it has even prompted to me donate to them again.  I think it is a great idea!  For my wedding next week, in lieu of wedding guest favors we donated to our local humane society, and then I made a little "placecard" to go on the plates saying in lieu of wedding favor gifts a donation was made in the name of the Guests of the ________ wedding to the Humane Society of Green Bay.  We actually went to a wedding last weekend where I know the bride took a lot of time to burn CDs of their favorite songs, and make covers and CD stickers and everything, and there were at least 5 left on each table at the end of the night.  I also used to work at the large venue and I remember cleaning up after weddings, and there were always tons of the little guest trinkets left on the tables.