We eloped, now we are renewing our vows

melissacalahan32

Long story short, my husband and I eloped and I didn't tell my family until after. He told his the day before. His family was happy for us and my family didn't speak to me for a month. Now we want to renew our vows and have basically a wedding do-over so everyone can feel included. Is it even possible to register without being tacky or should I just plan to do without that whole part?

MNVegas

Sorry but the wedding ship has sailed. You already had your wedding ceremony so you don't get a "wedding do over".  Not sure how having a "wedding do over" would make your family feel included. Personally I think it would be a reminder of how they were not included. 

You can certainly have a vow renewal but do not call it a wedding because it most definitely is not.  Usually people have vow renewals at a milestone anniversary like 5, 10, 15 years, etc.  People do not usually register for vow renewals so I would nix that idea. 

Hope you have a nice vow renewal.

Summer2011Bride

Anything you have now would be a vow renewal, since you can only marry the same person once (unless you get divorced first). However, I would greatly side-eye a vow renewal that almost immediately follows an elopement or wedding of any kind. I could see doing one on a big anniversary, like your 10th or something.

I think the best course of action is just to drop it. You chose to elope and it's a perfectly valid decision. Many times, families are unhappy and I can see where they are coming from, but ultimately it is your choice. You made your decision and now have to live with it (I really don't mean for this to come across as harsh--just encouraging you to move forward). I think in time, your family may come to terms with it and move on too. I don't think a do-over will help bridge the gap with them either.

meganb1977

I like the idea of having an anniversary party after the drama surrounding your elopement has died down.  Agree with pp's who think it might just stir up more drama to try to do a vow renewal anytime soon.

Simply Fated

" Now we want to renew our vows and have basically a wedding doover so everyone can feel included" Included in what, exactly? I'm not sure how going through the motions of a wedding reenactment will appease them. Is that what you want to include them in? I'd wait and have an anniversary party, maybe for your 5 year or something.

Lisa50

How long ago was the wedding?  Did I miss that?  Anyhoo, if the wedding was less than 25 years ago, I would suggest skipping anything that suggests wedding or vow renewal.  Have a party (no registry, no bridal dress, etc.) with family and friends and enjoy yourself!

aragx6

If you insist on going forward with a vow renewal that will likely appease no one, don't register. I wouldn't bring a gift to a VR.

mtopoleski

I don't know why they can't have a wedding do-over.  Some people can't afford a wedding when they get married and feel like eloping is their only option.  Call it whatever you want, but if I was invited to a party, any party, I would bring a gift.  I think that you have the right to create a small registry and provide that information to people who ask.

vspivack

With my husband we eloped courthouse because I was pregnant and I have very conservative parents. We always wanted a wedding but I wanted the perfect wedding which didn't include a baby bump for me, or the post baby weight for that matter. Financially it wasn't very easy because we had a baby on the way and there were other priorities. It's 3 years later and we want to do it maybe next year so 4 1/2 years later. I'm not doing anything crazy just 50 of our closest friends and family, but I want the dress, the shower and a girls night, is that so wrong? Or even registering for gifts?