HELP! Need advice. fighting with my fiance about registry

MarySBee

HELP!!  My mom wants me to register at traditional registry.  Yet my fiance wants practical gifts since he's older and already have a ton of stuff.  There's a financial registry that would allow us to registry for cash (for mortgage, honeymoon, etc), stocks, bonds, etc.  He wants to register us at:  http://weddingfutures.com/ What should I do?  I'm stuck between the both of them.  I don't want either of them to get upset.  Should I register at a traditional registry or Wedding Futures??  Actually, has anyone heard of Wedding Futures? If anyone can offer advice, I would greatly appreciate it. 

Leah&Christian09

Registering for cash, honeymoon, stocks, whatever is rude.  Register for the things you need for your home.  You don't have to register for china if you'll never use it, but I'm sure you could stand to have some more sheets, towels, better everyday dishes, upgraded kitchen appliances or something.  If you set up a small registry with this stuff, people will get the hint and a lot will write you a check.

golf*bride

I agree with the others -- both my dh and I owned homes and we still had a registry full of items.  It's nice to get good quality towels, kitchen appliances etc.  I think the wedding futures registry will turn folks off.

CTGirl30

The point of a registry is to provide guests with ideas of items the bride & groom have requested in helping to set up their new home together as a married couple.  I know I would find it rude if someone were to ask me to contribute to their retirement or stocks & bonds when I'm trying to contribute to my own 401k, which like just everyone else's, has diminished significantly in the last year....with that in mind, you don't HAVE to register at a traditional store if you feel like you really have enough items on your own. You can skip it altogether (people will give you money as a wedding gift and you can then use it as you wish to put into stocks or whatever) OR you register for a few upgrades (ie. new bedding or new kitchen items to replace older ones) as others have mentioned.

ffmaid

It is rude to directly ask for money. If you and Fi donot want a traditional type registry then do not have one but it is rude to ask for cash be it in honeymon morgage bonds ect form  

coppercoin123

I went to the Wedding Futures web site just now - they charge 5% commission!  Why would you pay a commission on your gifts (and it looks like that doesn't include brokerage fees)!  As a guest - I would see that commission and just give you cash - I wouldn't want 5% of my gift to go to this company - I want all my gift to go to you.  Set up a savings account designated just for any cash/checks you receive to go towards investments.  As for a traditional registry - maybe get creative - something fun - I registered at REI for camping gear and at Target for a Wii.

aerinpegadrak

Yeah, that sounds kind of sketchy.  Why not register at Amazon.com?  They have a universal registry tool, so if it's available for purchase online, you can register for it.  That way you're not bound to the normal registry stuff.

duckie1905

Ugh, no, this is not acceptable.  You are basically asking for cash from your guests if you do this.  It is never acceptable to ask for anything (let alone money).Some will give you money, others will give gift cards or registry items.  Don't ask them for money outright, let them make their own decisions.I usually give money for weddings.  If a couple I knew registered at a money donation site, I'd probably start to question whether I wanted to maintain the friendship.

Kristin789

Wedding guests expect to give wonderful, long-lasting gifts that mirror their hope for your marriage to be wonderful and long-lasting. Like china, bedding, and other nest-building stuff. When you see these gifts in your home, you will be reminded of the giver, and you will be reminded that you have a whole connected web of marriage mentors to whom you can turn for advice, counsel, new ideas or help when things go from better to worse. Sending cash to your cash collection account does not match what wedding gifts are supposed to represent.

kmmssg

Kristin's post is why I always buy a gift from the registry - a gift for their home.  I know that a traditional registry is a collection of items that fit into the "vision" the couple has for decorating their home and setting up housekeeping.  I try to choose something that has a pretty long life to it so that I know they will have it for a long time and it was something they really wanted. DH and I had both been married before.  We had a very small registry and the gifts we received - I can tell you 13 years later who gave us what, and it is very likely to still be in use today. I will also give a couple a cash gift - no problem if I know that is what they would like the most.  I would be more than greatly offended to get a financial registry information card though.  Beyond tacky.

dianenjnj

nooooo  you can't ask people for money....geez!

ifeaneedhelp

I have to be one of the only girls on these boards who thinks its more rude to ask for a gift you don't want or need! Don't go out of your way to ASK for money. That's rude, yes. But you could always just NOT have a registry listed. If anyone really wants to get you something they are going to call someone in your wedding party or your parents. Tell them that if anyone asks why there isn't a registry (or maybe why just a very small one) you can have them tell people that you two really don't need much and would really just appreciate their presences at the wedding and that if they really feel they need or want to get you something then they can mention that you two are saving for whatever and that every little bit counts. OR have a registry that your parents can tell the older folks about (the ones who would very much be a bit miffed at the idea of just asking for money)  and then if you feel comfortable enough telling your friends what you would really prefer, tell them.

msdjennings

I heard of another cash registry called eGifting.  Probably the same concept however your able to print your thank you cards and address labels directly from the site.  It also provides you with registry cards as well.  It saves you so much time.  The site url is: www.egift-ing.com   Check it out I hope this helps.

kmmssg

PRINTS out your thank you notes?  Seriously?  Am I correct in thinking this site will print out a thank you note instead of one that should be handwritten?