Registry and Gift Forum

HM Registry Rant

I have been reading through a lot of the posts on this page, and it is very obvious that people have VERY strong opinions against non-traditional registries (especially HM registries).  I don't understand this.  People say that asking for HM presents is like asking for people to fund your vacation, but isn't registering for HH items the same as asking for people to fund your new home?  I have also heard people say that these sort of registries are like asking for money, but a lot of these sites allow you to register for specific items, like a dinner or excursion.  How is asking for somebody to pay for your excursion different from asking somebody to pay for your place settings?  To me, its all the same.  I think that most people will agree that it is rude to ask for presents in the first place.  This is why we don't include registry information in the invitations.  But since guests want to give a wedding present to the happy couple, we register to guide them in the right direction and to make gift buying easier for everyone.  In my opinion, guests want to get the couple something that they will appreciate and that will make them happy.  Whether that is a new set of towels or a memorable event for the HM.All this being said, I NEVER think it is OK to ask for money directly, either by asking for it specifically or within a registry (like a financial planning registry).  I do, however, think that asking for specific things, like honeymoon presents is perfectly acceptable. 

Re: HM Registry Rant

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    Ditto retread and Kristen.
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    It just feels weird to buy a waffle maker for a momentous event.  Helping someone on a once in a lifetime trip seems more special to me.
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    I think the real issue is that the registry is for those people who don't want to just give cash.  Thus, a registry that results in your just getting cash (which you don't even have to use for a honeymoon) seems like it undermines the point.  And of course, for those people who are willing to give cash, it is less expensive just to give you a check than to go through an agency that takes part of the money.That being said, I would not be offended by a couple that had a honeymoon registry.  However, I would not use it for my wedding, and I would not use it to buy a gift for anyone else's.
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    I wish more people would do HM registries. I hate spending money on boring things like household stuff. Yeah, it's fabulous that the new couple wants to wipe their rear ends on the towels I give them. Plus, let's be honest.... china gets left in a box in the closet or gets dusty in the china cabinet. I disagree with the idea that a snorkeling trip is a one time thing - I have vacation memories that I will hold dear until the day I die. I can't tell you what I got as a gift last Christmas, but I remember the year my aunt and uncle paid for FI (then bf) and I to climb a waterfall in the Caribbean when they found out we had booked a cruise. That memory will outlast any blender, and would bring me much more joy.
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    I have mixed feeling regarding the HM registries because I feel like I'm paying for someone's trip.  I know when I give money at a wedding it probably goes towards their Hm anyways.  I always thought the point of a registry and giving gifts was to help the couple get started in their new life together.  I guess I have a bad taste in my mouth because a friend of my did that and I truely felt they were looking for a free trip.
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    When I am goin to a wedding it is because I love and care about the couple. I want to bring them a gift that they want, not the gift I think they should have. If the couple would like cash as a gift that is what Iwould love to give them. If they want a toaster then a toaster it is. At that moment, the day of their wedding, I would love to celebrate with them and give them a gift they would enjoy. I think it is a bit rude to say what a groom and bride should and should not ask for. If you want a HR, go for it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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