Registry and Gift Forum

Help! I do NOT want a wedding registry!!

Ladies,Help me out! I do NOT want a wedding registry. By the time my fiancee and I are married, we would be living together three months shy of four years. Before we were engaged in July of this year, we moved into a brand new apartment and purchased everything new.We really don't need anything.To top it off, my fiancee is Portuguese, and its tradition to give money instead of wedding gifts.How do I go about relaying this to my non-Portuguese guests? I dont want to be tacky, and want to be as tactful and considerate as possible. I was told that perhaps I do not include any registry information in the wedding invitations and perhaps they will get the hint.I'm not sure. Help me out!! :D

Re: Help! I do NOT want a wedding registry!!

  • Yeah, make it easy for your guests and register for some things. They may not want to give you their money and unless you have a registry you are going to get loads of crap :)  Check out or REI for books, travel gear, etc. Or upgrade some things you already have like towels, old microwave, bath mats. You could also include some kitchen gadgets that you might not necessarily buy for yourself, like a kitchenaid mixer, mortar & pestal, panini press.  Those that are into the tradition of giving cash will, regardless of your registry. HTH!
  • perhaps I do not include any registry information in the wedding invitations and perhaps they will get the hintYou shouldn't be including any registry info in the wedding invitations anyway. It's tacky, rude, and gift-grabby.If you don't need anything, don't register. Or consider a specialty shop (REI, Amazon, etc.)
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  • It's fine to not register.  It's terribly rude to include registry information with your invitation, so you wouldn't do that regardless.  If you don't have a registry, some people will take the hint and give you cash or GCs.  Other people aren't comfortable giving money and will just choose something they think you like.  It may be a lovely piece of artwork, or it may be a fugly chili pepper lamp.  That's the risk you run. If you do not have a registry, it is inappropriate to have a shower, so you'll need to decline any offer of a shower. I don't believe anyone simply can't use anything.  My parents have been married for 32 years, and every Thanksgiving my mother thinks of some random kitchen gadget she could use.  Additionally, things like sheets and towels do wear out, and need to be replaced every few years.  Consider doing a very small registry with just the extras and replacement stuff.  We lived together for years and both had our own places when we got together.  So we registered for cool stuff like an ice cream machine.
  • 1) How do I shrink my inner bride? Trust me, I've been trying to figure it out, but I dont know what I am doing wrong. 2) We honestly, truly do not need anything. Every christmas we've gotten an INSANE amount of "couples" gifts from the family for the past four christmases.... its a factor since his parents are very traditional Portuguese. Anyone who has experience with the Portuguese tradition would understand me! LOL We've honestly stood in the middle of our house thinking about it, and NOTHING. 3) Thanks for the tips about Amazon, or REI... I will take a look into it.4) This has truly been a learning experience. Some people say to put registry information in the invite, some say its tacky, some say its necessary! Arg! LOL. It's confusing....
  • For your siggy, use the code URL" width="200"> Delete the *, and adjust the width to an appropriate size.  The height will adjust accordingly.If you are confused about etiquette things, like including registry info, pick up an etiquette book.  I bought the Emily Post one used on Amazon for less than $5.  It will give you better answers than what you'll get from other people just making up the rules.  Or you can also ask here.  There are a few ladies on this board that really know their stuff.
  • If you don't need anything, don't register. I know people who didn't and ended up either getting gifts anyway, or checks. I don't see anything wrong with not registering.
  • An icecream machine DOES sound cool! LOL
  • The ice cream machine is my favorite gift.  They got us that, a new scooper, an ice cream recipe book, and some cute ice cream bowls.  Homemade strawberry ice cream rocks my world! We also did a breach machine, an espresso machine, some cool buffet serving pieces, etc.  It was pretty much all stuff that I knew we would use, but probably wouldn't ever go buy.
  • How do I go about relaying this to my non-Portuguese guests? You don't.  There is no proper way to tell your guests to give you cash instead of presents.If you absolutely cannot register for anything and don't want to upgrade then don't register.  Some guests will get the hint and give money.But, without at least a small registry I guarantee you'll get a few (and maybe more) white elephant gifts that you have no hope of returning or exchanging.
  • Oh and take your FI's last name out of siggy...this is the internet and people can be nuts.  You can't trust everyone on the interwebs.
  • *bread machine. A breach machine sounds scary.
  • allows your guests to put money into a honeymoon for you and your fiance. That's what we're doing. It's a registry, but for your honeymoon. Your guests can purchase air fare...hotel Anything you want. I don't know about you, but having someone else pay for my honeymoon is good for me.
  • It's a good idea to register for at least a few things because some people just aren't comfortable giving money. Also, it can help prevent those weird gifts that will most likely wind up in your attic. I kid you not, my cousin got married in June and at her bridal shower, she unwrapped a teapot shaped like a chicken and an anchor.
  • I agree with alwaters.  A honeymoon fund is great.  I did the same thing!!!  And believe it or not, all my gifts received thus far have been on my honeyfund (which included honeymoon stuff, as well as, gifting towards big purchase items that we could use in the home i.e. washer and dryer, etc) one has purchased anything on my BBB fund.  I don't know why people think it is so it because the etiquette books say it is tacky?  We are in 2009...we are modern brides and many couple now-a-days really mean it when they say they don't need or want anything...but since guest will be guest and would love to give gifts, well then give them an option.  I gave them an option of a 'traditional' registry and a 'modern' registry.  I didn't put it on my invitations and I didn't tell people I prefer money.  My family passed the word and if people asked where I was registered, I just gave them the website where it shows my registries.  They won't know until they see the page what kind of registries I had.I am marrying a Spanish man, my family is African/Spanish (mom's side) and American (dad's side) and no one so far has seen it as tacky...they have seen it as a great idea.   Don't under estimate the guest.  Just because a book on etiquette says it is 'tacky' doesn't mean your guest will see it that way. 
    A happy time to start a family!
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