Registry and Gift Forum

notifing guests of how to make out gift checks

I don't want to come off as tacky or rude but how should I notify guests who give us a check to only make it out to the bride or groom (not both).  I am not changing my name after we get married (well at least for a while) and I don't want anyone making a check out to Mr. and Mrs.  I have had friends who have had many problems in the past cashing or depositing checks that have come that way after their wedding.  Is there a polite and tasteful way of letting guests know?

Re: notifing guests of how to make out gift checks

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    edited December 2010
    Definitely bring your marriage license/certificate with you and you shouldn't have any problems. My sister got married 4 years ago and didn't change her name and her MIL always writes checks to her with her husbands last name on it...she just brings her license with her when she goes to the bank and has no issues.

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    Ditto PPs.  I didn't change my name, and we got several checks to Mr. and Mrs. Hisname.  We just deposited them into his account.  I didn't even have to bring a marriage license or anything.  
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    We also didn't have any problem with depositing our checks before I changed my name.  You can't tell people how to write out their checks--that's just rude. 
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    edited December 2010
    "My sister got married 4 years ago and didn't change her name and her MIL always writes checks to her with her husbands last name on it..."

    Wow, that's passive aggressive!!
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    We deposited all of our joint-checks through the ATM.  I would recommend doing the same.  They cleared, no problems.  Even money orders from overseas. 

    To tell your guests what to do with their gifts - to ship it to your house, for example - is not appropriate.  Be thankful to get anything at all and move on.  I understand your worries, but it will come off as presumptuous if you do otherwise.  
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    I deposited all our checks right after the wedding, when we didn't have a marriage license back yet and I hadn't changed my name yet. The bank had me write "For Deposit Only" with our account # on the back, and sign any that came with our new last name that way, and with my old last name, sign with my old last name. It's tiring writing the account number a million times but that was the hardest part.

    I have heard of peopl ehaving trouble with banks over things like that, but honestly I would just take the checks to another bank location then :)
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    I do a deposit @ home system with my bank so we have to do the whole "For deposit only to account # blah blah blah" all the time. You get used to it after awhile.

    Anyway, as long as whoever wrote the check doesn't contest the debit from their account, the bank probably won't care.
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    It depends on the bank, and you can always call ahead of time.  I was specifically told that I needed my marriage certificate, we both had to sign and be present at the bank (if we were both on the check), and that I should not use the ATM, even though we were depositing.  Since I didn't want to risk having money lost in limbo, we both signed the checks and we brought them in together along with the marriage license. 

    Obviously other people have had different experiences.  I think it's better to be over-prepared and take the time to go in person, rather than running the risk of putting the checks in the ATM.  If they had told me on the phone that I could use the ATM, though, I would have done it in a heartbeat.
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    I got maried in October of this year and am just getting to changing my name first.  The bank has been very helpful with depositing any checks from the wedding as long as you have a joint account.   Think about how many people go through this every!
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    i did nto change my name.

    we received the majority of our checks as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith. 

    ironically, the only bank that gave us a hard time was the small local bank where tehy knew my husband.  after about 1/2 hour there talking with the teller, head teller and then the branch manager, they finally cashed the checks and had me sign them Jane HisLast name even though its not my legal name.  we didnt care, we just wanted the money.  the bigger banks (bank of america) didnt bat an eye and cashed them no problem.  

    a tip for all of you:  we opted to cash checks at the banks tehy were drawn on for two reasons.  1, some people write bad checks.  not intentionally, btu because htey simply dont know how to balance their checkbooks!  by taking it to the bank on which its drawn, we avoided any possible bounced check fees.  2.  when you deposit checks into your accoutn, the money isnt available right away. sometimes you can have a hold on your account for up to a week.  my depositing cash, its availble right away.
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    also, even if a couple WILL have teh same last name, wedding checks really shoudlnt be made out to Mr. and Mrs. Tom Jones becuase it can take a few weeks for hte marriage license to be returned. 
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