Registry Cards in Invites

emidle2008

I  sometimes frequent the Etiquette boards, and I know the girls there feel very adamant about not including registry cards with your invitations. However, I am wondering if the is a regional thing. Out of the past three weddings I've attended (all here in IN), all invites included a business card sized insert saying something like "GROOM and BRIDE have registered at X, Y, and Z". I was not insulted. I liked knowing where they registered without having to bother the bride by calling or texting her. I am thinking of including a small, nice card printed on cardstock to include in our invites. What do you think? Are you including registry notes in your invites? 

Avion22

If all of your friends jumped off a bridge.....?

Retread is right.   Just because people do it doesn't mean it's proper etiquette.  

Also consider that you may be inviting people who are outside of your own "social circle" -- like aunts, cousins, friends of parents, or even friends of yours who live in a different region, and THESE are the people you might offend by doing something that you think is "okay in your area."

We're not trying to shoot down your idea.  We're trying to help you see that if internet strangers would find this offensive, then your great-aunt Betsy or college friend Brenda might also be offended.

SCogs18

I think it is very appropriate to include registry cards in shower invitations, but I don't think it's necessary or appropriate to include them with wedding invitations.  Registry information can be on the wedding website and it's really easy to good "Jane Doe and John Smith Wedding."  Registry information will always pop up.

I've only ever seen registry information included with the wedding invite once.

AdeleDazeem

I have been to more weddings than I can count and I've NEVER gotten an invitation with a registry card inside. 

There was a thread very recently on E about a girl who included them and guests were sending the registry cards back with their RSVP.

I don't think it's a regional thing - I think it's a "people lacking knowledge on etiquette" thing. 

spartybride3

I agree that they should probably not go with wedding invites, but if I received them in an invite, I wouldn't be offended or think the person is rude. That's silly to be offended over something like that.  I had my mom put them in the shower invites & my fiances mom is just going to write them on the shower invite. My mom is not writing them because she said the invite didn't have enough space. Our registries are also on our wedding website & I would think that if people hadn't figured it out by then, they would call the bride/grrom or their family or just start pulling up store websites and look for our names. 

MobKaz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-cards-in-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:12431b17-1178-4050-af92-33ef922fe3fdPost:77246dbd-64df-476d-8c62-d8f98d692ff2">Re: Registry Cards in Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been to more weddings than I can count and I've NEVER gotten an invitation with a registry card inside. <strong> There was a thread very recently on E about a girl who included them and guests were sending the registry cards back with their RSVP.</strong> I don't think it's a regional thing - I think it's a "people lacking knowledge on etiquette" thing. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]


Two "rudes" don't make a "right".   I agree that registry information should not be included in wedding invitations.  And, as far as this is concerned,  <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;"><u><em>" I am thinking of including a small, nice card </em></u><u><em>printed on cardstock to include in our invites"........</em></u></span> making them look "pretty" does not make including them any less   inappropriate.  <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;"><u><em>
</em></u><u><em>
</em></u></span>

tlsrd9

I have never seen registry information included in an invite. I've seen it with shower invitations definitely though. I have seen the couples' website included on the invitations which gives updated information on hotel stays, ceremony, reception, and registry information there. But it's not specifically just for registries.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-cards-in-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:12431b17-1178-4050-af92-33ef922fe3fdPost:63ec90e7-7b54-4cce-829f-2fa7c10b059e">Re: Registry Cards in Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I find it very rude. I wouldn't be insulted, but I would assume that gifts are very important to the couple.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>^^ This, exactly.  When I see one (which is rarely) I think that a) this person has no manners b) this person must think I"m very stupid if they think I can't find their registry and c) if I don't intend to give a gift they don't want me to attend the wedding.</div>

abrooke2008

I have received many invitations that included registry information. I do not understand what all the fuss is about to be perfectly honest. A wedding is a huge celebration and gifts have always played a huge role. It's not a secret that gifts are expected.  So why tip toe around the issue? I believe it is much more convenient for the guests so they don't have to search for it or make a phone call to find out (Especially for those who are not invited to a shower.) Some of the previous posters have mentioned that it is insulting because they can easily google the couple and find the wedding website. While that may be true for the younger generation, older guests may not have those skills or even internet access.

For my wedding invitations we included a matching card that said something like "For more information regarding wedding menu, accomodations, directions, and gift registries, please visit our website" I do not believe this was in the least bit tacky or rude. It helped guests to know all of our information is in one place.

babe915

I personally think it might be regional. I have always recieved registry info with invites. Honestly I didn't think it is rude, and I also didn't feel like I had to absolutely get the couple a gift. I never knew it was uncommon or rude before I started browsing theknot. I think it is lack of information.

Belle0000

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-cards-in-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:12431b17-1178-4050-af92-33ef922fe3fdPost:957c687a-35a9-48a6-80df-a6a5891a9dee">Re: Registry Cards in Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think it might be regional. I have always recieved registry info with invites. Honestly I didn't think it is rude, and I also didn't feel like I had to absolutely get the couple a gift. I never knew it was uncommon or rude before I started browsing theknot. I think it is lack of information.
Posted by babe915[/QUOTE]

I disagree, if you're referring to the Great Lakes region. I've have been to weddings all over Ohio, Detroit, and Chicago, and have never received registry info in a wedding invitation.

For anyone considering putting registry info in your wedding invites, please check out this thread first:  <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registration-card-return">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registration-card-return</a>

abrooke2008

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-cards-in-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:12431b17-1178-4050-af92-33ef922fe3fdPost:631af430-808c-4b76-b073-286125d915a6">Re: Registry Cards in Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not a secret that gifts are expected.  Gifts aren't expected.  YOU may be expecting gifts, if so that's because you're greedy.  Guests have the prerogative to give a gift or not, neither is wrong in terms of etiquette. While that may be true for the younger generation, older guests may not have those skills or even internet access.  You're way underestimating the average 'older guest'.  Many if not most seniors these days are very internet savvy.  And I dare say that all of them know how to pick up a phone and ask someone where you're registered. For my wedding invitations we included a matching card that said something like "For more information regarding wedding menu, accomodations, directions, and gift registries, please visit our website" I do not believe this was in the least bit tacky or rude. It helped guests to know all of our information is in one place. Had you said "For more information see <a href="http://www.weddingwebsite.com"> you would have been fine.  Specifying that the registry was listed there made it wrong, in terms of etiquette.
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]


Sorry, but the rude thing to do would be come to a wedding without a gift. I can't imagine ever doing that. So no, it is not about my "greed", but rather my "etiquette", that I expect gifts at my own and every other wedding I attend. Gifts are a staple at any and every wedding I have ever been to. They are even the focus of many of the festivities leading up to the wedding, like the showers. It is just plain silly to try to overlook this <em>fact</em>. The whole point is to help the couple in either financing the wedding or preparing them for their new life together (a tradition that began in the 1890s).

In response to "underestimating" the older guest, I could not disagree more. My grandmother and many older relatives had never seen a wedding website before mine and have never purchased anything online. While they all know how to use a computer, they never would have thought to google our registries. In addition, your premise that everyone is internet savvy is quite naive. There are plenty of people who are from lower class families and live in rural areas and do not have internet access. While this might not apply for everyone's guest list, I have a fairly diverse guest list.
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