Separate bridal shower and wedding gifts?

Flowerstar1023

I'm going to a bridal shower soon and was wondering - do we buy separate shower gift in addition to the gifts we already bought for the wedding?

ElisabethJoanne

Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt say you should bring a gift to the shower and send a separate gift before the wedding.

It's OK if the total value of the 2 gifts is how much you would spend on 1 gift if you were only attending 1 event. [or if the total value is 1/4 or 10x what you'd usually spend. No one's allowed to analyze what the cost of the gifts says about you or your feelings toward the bride]

If the gifts you've bought are in your possession, I'd just wrap one and bring it to the shower, and ship the other(s) closer to the wedding.

HobokensFury

Where I'm from the shower and wedding are treated as 2 different events. A physical gift is given at the shower and money is given at the wedding.

LeiselEB

In my circle, we do the exact opposite of Retread - if we bring gifts to the wedding at all. Shower presents are the bigger gift, weddings are usually just cards with or without money, and perhaps a small present that is sent to the couple, not brought to the wedding.

So basically, there are a lot of different ways to do this. I'd say find an amount you're comfortable spending, and spend half on the shower gift and half on the wedding gift (or some other split).

hoffse

We do what retread does - smallish gift for the shower, large gift for the wedding, both from the registry.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_separate-bridal-shower-and-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:15921026-b4e1-4343-9e75-621c0b254d21Post:203499ce-0b17-44ed-9645-896fe943405a">Re: Separate bridal shower and wedding gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In my circle, we do the exact opposite of Retread - if we bring gifts to the wedding at all. Shower presents are the bigger gift, weddings are usually just cards with or without money, and perhaps a small present that is sent to the couple, not brought to the wedding. 
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]
This is the norm for my circle as well.

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_separate-bridal-shower-and-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:15921026-b4e1-4343-9e75-621c0b254d21Post:f0a4ed44-cb3d-43e4-9717-bb2da045cbb8">Re: Separate bridal shower and wedding gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Where I'm from the shower and wedding are treated as 2 different events. A physical gift is given at the shower and money is given at the wedding.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

This is the norm in my area as well, although there are always a few gift bags and boxes on the gift table at the wedding.

There's nothing wrong with giving a physical gift for both, a physical gift for the shower and money for the wedding, or a gift for the shower and only a card for the wedding. It's all about what you can afford and what you feel like spending. I like to give gifts for both, so I usually divide my budget in two so I can afford two gifts.

The only thing I <em>wouldn't</em> do is buy a gift for the wedding and not for the shower. Showing up for the shower without a gift kinda defeats the purpose of a shower, KWIM? So if you can only afford to give one gift, make it a shower gift.

lopezalonso

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_separate-bridal-shower-and-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:15921026-b4e1-4343-9e75-621c0b254d21Post:f0a4ed44-cb3d-43e4-9717-bb2da045cbb8">Re: Separate bridal shower and wedding gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Where I'm from the shower and wedding are treated as 2 different events. A physical gift is given at the shower and money is given at the wedding.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This exactly. In my circle a gift is expected for both events although the size of the gift is expected to be smaller for the shower than the wedding since the shower is less expensive event for the host. </div>

Flowerstar1023

Thanks ladies! This is VERY helpful!