How to make reqistry requests when you have a furnished home

adp121

Ok, we are already established for the most part and really don't require many of the usual amenities that most new couples require when getting hitched. So my question is how to PROPERLY tell ppl we'd prefer a gift card or cash vs...things we won't use?

misshart00

You can either not register or register for a few upgrades, like towels and sheets (since they wear out). If anyone asks you where you're registered, just say you haven't registered, but you're saving up for xyz.

mlg78

You can't properly do this. You'll have to do what misshart said.

MoxieMickie

I third Misshart. Unless you're in an area where everyone lives at home until they get married, your situation is not unique. Trying to ask for cash because you have everything may upset your friends/family and may get you lots of engraved photo albums, stars named after you, ice cream makers, etc.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-to-make-reqistry-requests-when-you-have-a-furnished-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:193ca20d-8076-4cdd-b18d-ea64526121bdPost:1465dd9f-0f3d-41d1-a1b4-4e579d7cb1c6">How to make reqistry requests when you have a furnished home</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, we are already established for the most part and really don't require many of the usual amenities that most new couples require when getting hitched. So my question is how to PROPERLY tell ppl we'd prefer a gift card or cash vs...things we won't use?
Posted by adp121[/QUOTE]

Your situation isn't unique or different from anyone else's. I mean, everyone can use cash, you kow what I mean? So don't worry about it. if people want to give cash, they will. If they dont' want to give cash, they won't

What would you be using the money for? You can spread the word that you're saving up for a honeymoon, for instance.

Ella and Pedro

I third Misshart. Unless you're in an area where everyone lives at home until they get married, your situation is not unique. Trying to ask for cash because you have everything may upset your friends/family and may get you lots of engraved photo albums, stars named after you, ice cream makers, etc.


SO, unless you like to gamble and enjoy lots of photo albums, you SHOULD register because not everyone will do cash, gift cards, or a check.  we registered on amazon, which has a universal registry.  through our universal registry we registered for Halloween and Christmas decor, gift cards for specific places and things we like (Spa Day, Bed and Breakfast, specific non-chain restaurants), and a ton of other things we don't really need but want more than engaved photo albums .....scented gourmet candles, a new shower curtain, DVDs, cookbooks, wine sets from wine website, gourmet cheese, table linens for the holidays..

I figure hopefully the variety of prices and style of gifts (fun vs practical, inexpensive vs more pricey) will help non-money givers.

but I do agree with the other posters, you just need to spread the word gently via word of mouth not yourselves unless directly asked

gymbugmj2k

I might get yelled at for this post, but i'm ok with that.

First of all - KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.  In some families, protocol is important.  In other families, practicality takes precedence. Know how your familiy will react to certain things.  Ask your mom/grandma/important people before spreading the word if you're unsure.

For MY family... we're loud, italian and nosy.  We don't mind asking for what we want.  Hubby and I had JUST bought a house a few weeks before the wedding and gutted the kitchen. we had no furniture, and barely any useful items aside from the basics.  Our registry was full of dishware and kitchen items, household basics, etc. 

A LOT of our situation was unkown since we didn't really know what kind of house we would end up in, or what furniture/colors/etc we were going to go with.  So, we added amazon gift cards to our registry.  Once we knew about gutting the kitchen, we added lowes/home depot gift cards, restaurant gift cards, etc.

Our families LOVED this.  They liked the idea of getting something more useful for us than generic cash.  We got a lot of restaurant and lowes gift cards and we really enjoyed it!  Of course we did also get many of our household items and such that were on the list.  The great part is that the 'silly' gifts were kept to a minimum.  I think we only got one or two "wow they don't know what we like at ALL" gifts. 

.... to tell our families we had created a wedding website.  we posted our amazon registry and put a note above the link. 

For YOU -- you could include in the note something along the lines of:

"We appreciate all the love and support from our families as we prepare for our wedding and life to come.  We feel incredibly lucky that we own many of our household items.  X and I are currently saving up to _________ (buy new furniture, travel to see relatives, prepare to start having a family, upgrade the house, cars, etc.... whatever!) and would love your support as we start that project.  As a couple, we enjoy dinners at X restuarant, and doing X Y Z in our spare time (things that family can contribute gift cards to... like movies, craft projects, favorite stores, etc).  We have also added some other items to our registry below"


again...its up to YOU and YOUR FAMILY.   Like i said - my family really appreciated what we did (and they have asked that we keep our registry up and running for events like birthdays and christmasses!).  Some families don't enjoy this method.  If it works for you - go for it.  If not, then take others' advice instead of mine

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-to-make-reqistry-requests-when-you-have-a-furnished-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:193ca20d-8076-4cdd-b18d-ea64526121bdPost:996faa25-60bb-414b-95d8-cc8b001c7fcd">Re: How to make reqistry requests when you have a furnished home</a>:
[QUOTE]I might get yelled at for this post, but i'm ok with that. First of all - KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.  In some families, protocol is important.  In other families, practicality takes precedence. Know how your familiy will react to certain things.  Ask your mom/grandma/important people before spreading the word if you're unsure. For MY family... we're loud, italian and nosy.  We don't mind asking for what we want.  Hubby and I had JUST bought a house a few weeks before the wedding and gutted the kitchen. we had no furniture, and barely any useful items aside from the basics.  Our registry was full of dishware and kitchen items, household basics, etc.  A LOT of our situation was unkown since we didn't really know what kind of house we would end up in, or what furniture/colors/etc we were going to go with.  So, we added amazon gift cards to our registry.  Once we knew about gutting the kitchen, we added lowes/home depot gift cards, restaurant gift cards, etc. Our families LOVED this.  They liked the idea of getting something more useful for us than generic cash.  We got a lot of restaurant and lowes gift cards and we really enjoyed it!  Of course we did also get many of our household items and such that were on the list.  The great part is that the 'silly' gifts were kept to a minimum.  I think we only got one or two "wow they don't know what we like at ALL" gifts.  .... to tell our families we had created a wedding website.  <strong>we posted our amazon registry and put a note above the link.  For YOU -- you could include in the note something along the lines of: "We appreciate all the love and support from our families as we prepare for our wedding and life to come.  We feel incredibly lucky that we own many of our household items.  X and I are currently saving up to _________ (buy new furniture, travel to see relatives, prepare to start having a family, upgrade the house, cars, etc.... whatever!) and would love your support as we start that project.  As a couple, we enjoy dinners at X restuarant, and doing X Y Z in our spare time (things that family can contribute gift cards to... like movies, craft projects, favorite stores, etc).  We have also added some other items to our registr</strong>y below" again...its up to YOU and YOUR FAMILY.   Like i said - my family really appreciated what we did (and they have asked that we keep our registry up and running for events like birthdays and christmasses!).  Some families don't enjoy this method.  If it works for you - go for it.  If not, then take others' advice instead of mine =)
Posted by gymbugmj2k[/QUOTE]

OP please don't follow this advice. Gifts are not even required of guests and it is rude to assume they are getting you one or to ask for one in any way.

And for this poster, it is not about you and your family, it is about proper manners and etiquette. I don't care who you are--asking for cash outright is rude. That is a fact. There are some families where they don't care if you chew with your mouth open or burp loudly at dinner, but that still doesn't make those two behaviors any less rude.

Sierra524

Im in the same situation you are. My FI and I have been living together for almost 2 years now, and already have a furnished home. Obviously we would love cash, but its really rude to just ask for cash. We did a small registry...new sheets, new comforter set, towels, etc. Just things that we wanted to upgrade. I recommend doing a small registry or no registry. People will get the hint, without you having to say anything at all.

nesneve

Same situation here, plus the fact that in our country, people bring the gifts to the venue - which makes the registry a nightmare, because we don't have a car to get all those things home, and the majority of our guests are flying in from abroad. There's no need or room for anything new in our apartment, so we've put something along the lines of "Your presence is a gift big enough for us, but we know that some may wish to give us something. If so, we'd love a contribution towards our honeymoon". And then we're putting up a big world map at the reception so people can pin on suggested destinations.

In my family, this went down very well. They're very practical, down to earth people (most of the time...), and even my grandmother - who I expected to not get this at all - thought it was the best idea ever. FI's family on the other hand... not so much. Bad words were said (luckily in German, so I have no idea what they were) before everything settled down and was figured out. I'd definitely recommend a specific "cause" for the money though, and consider keeping the amounts a secret. 

Yes, there is etiquette. And I'm not familiar with your cultural traditions. But isn't your family  and friends someone you know and love, and who love you back...? Maybe it's possible to talk to them? If you think about it, who would want to give someone a gift they don't want?