Bridal shower question

Soon 2B Married

this might be a stupid question but oh well im going to ask it anyways lol . I hopw you guys can help me find answers. Can u guys explain to me whats the purpose and what happens in a bridal shower. I never been to a wedding before so i have no clue. I always thought that people just give u presents on the wedding date but i been told that no its in the bridal shower. Also i rather get cash than actuall presents. im still going to do a registry because i know there are people that can i afford to give out cash. how would i do about lettign them know. if i should even let them know. I hope you guys can help. thanks in advance.

HobokensFury

The purpose of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts that she will need in her marriage.  It is not thrown by the bride but given by someone else.  If you truly don't want gifts you should not have a bridal shower. Also there is no polite way to tell people you want cash. The best thing to do would be to not register and people may get the hint.

meganb1977

If you lurk around on this board there are a lot of people who are in the same situation and would prefer cash and don't want a lot of gifts, but unfortunately this is something we brides don't have much control over!  Generally the best advised course of action seems to be to register for a very few things...when you go you might find a few kitchen gadgets you would like or you can register for things like towels or basic glassware, it doesn't hurt to have a few more and those things will eventually need to be replaced.  Some people will get the hint and give a cash gift or gift card but other people still like to give a boxed gift.

At a shower it will be a gathering of ladies who are invited to the wedding.  Usually they serve finger foods and have a cake.  There are different games you can play like the bride steps out of the room and everyone has to try to remember what she was wearing.  And the bride receives gifts although these are usually smaller and less expensive than wedding gifts.

If you don't want gifts, don't register for much and turn down the offer if anyone wants to give you a shower.  If you don't mind the idea of a get together it doesn't have to be a gift-giving event but then the hostess shouldn't call it a "shower."

rlavach

Regarding whether people give you presents at the shower or wedding, that really depends upon your area. Around here, 99% of shower gifts are boxed gifts from your registry (or their imagination). Some give gift cards. Then at the wedding, the couple usually gets cash, checks and possibly gift cards. Very few physical gifts are brought to weddings around here.

But I have seen ladies on here from other areas that say a physical gift is brought to both event. The wedding gift is often fine china or crystal. So really, it depends. I'd ask your friends what they've seen commonly done. 

hoffse

Yeah agree with PP about variations between areas.  In classic southern circles boxed gifts are traditional at both, with the fancier gifts being for the wedding itself.  Honestly, I'm not sure how to categorize south florida, so you'd be better off asking people you know who have been to weddings or, better yet, already gotten married.

TiffannieF

A Bridal Shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts.

Somebody else throws it for you (they volunteer).

People will bring gifts to both showers and wedding, although most people will give you cash at the wedding.

People invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.  So if somebody offers to throw a shower for you then give them a guest list of people (typically people you are close with).

Be sure to give the person who threw you a shower a TY present (could be flowers, a bottle of wine, etc) as well as send TY cards to everybody who came to the shower.

If you do not need anything then have a small registry and spread by word of mouth that you prefer cash.

It is acceptable to put in the shower invitation where you are registered but not for the wedding.  For those who were not invited to the shower they will either ask you, your FI, or family members.

Does this help?