Quick Poll for The Knot Mag

KnotAmanda

take our poll

midgetthemighty

No and you shouldn't.

RebeccaB88

I swear, if I see you suggest this anywhere in your magazine or on your website, I am going to flip my b*tch on you guys. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_quick-poll-for-the-knot-mag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:2e79db25-01ac-4549-8111-a82fbf835b57Post:05e9fb94-72dc-4054-a3e9-501ae849c7e2">Re: Quick Poll for The Knot Mag</a>:
[QUOTE]I swear, if I see you suggest this anywhere in your magazine or on your website, I am going to flip my b*tch on you guys. 
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

Amen sister.

Knot Amanda - just because people do this will NEVER make it the right thing to do.  Please do not play into the entitlement laden personalities of waaay too many couples today.

jagore08

How is "asking for cash in lieu of gifts" even possible?  If someone chooses to give you money it's still a gift.  And no one should ever ask for gifts, it's rude.  Asking for cash is just unacceptable. 

SCogs18

It's so tacky!  I can't believe TheKnot is even considering promoting this!

BTCarolus

Really, I do not understand how the idea of cash registries/asking for cash became acceptable to some people. I mean "oh, Aunt Cindy, we just have everything we need. Please give us cash instead." I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone, especially not a friend or a family member. And I can't imagine directly asking anybody for a gift, ever, either! I don't know why (maybe that I enjoyed reading Emily Post and Letitia Baldrige as a child?) but I've always known that to publicize what you want/the registry you tell your bridal party and parents to pass on the info. To find out what a bride wants, you ask her mother or one of her BMs. This stuff isn't that hard, people.

JaxInBlue

Did we really want cash as a wedding gift?  Yes.  Did we come out and ask for it? No.  We made a registry of upgrades (since we had already established our household) and kept our mouths shut.  We still got a very generous amount of cash from our guests as well as some awesome items. 

Asking for cash is rude.  Don't promote this as a good idea.  Better questions to ask would be "Do you plan on not registering for gifts because you'd prefer cash gifts?" or 'Do you plan to have a small registery because you'd prefer cash gifts?" - both acceptable alternatives to imply you want the money.

RamonaFlowers

Ew. When the hell did it become acceptable to ask for gifts in the first place?

Tack-tastic, TK, tack-tastic.

AceTT

I'm really not surprised at all that TK mag is going to promote this tackiness.

MNVegas

Oh please TK do not promote this idea. It is just so disgusting to ask for cash or do cash registries. 

music11

No no no no

NovaMetzler

What if you already live together and don't want to register for things? I think it is tacky to go and register for stuff you would never be able to afford on your own. My finance really want to save for our honeymoon rather than ask people for stuff we already have - this is 100% unacceptable? I'm not going ask for cash, we just aren't going to register for gifts. I haven't made a wishlist since I was a kid....

We've started a tradition of visiting a different state park every year (last year was Mount Rainier in WA), we would love to do that for our honeymoon but can't afford it with the wedding planning. Is it really awful to say "in lieu of a list of tangible items, we would rather save for our honeymoon"?

NovaMetzler

I meant "my fiance and I"

Alisha9544

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_quick-poll-for-the-knot-mag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:2e79db25-01ac-4549-8111-a82fbf835b57Post:d7d0708e-b71e-41c8-9028-8bea45b78196">Re: Quick Poll for The Knot Mag</a>:
[QUOTE]What if you already live together and don't want to register for things? I think it is tacky to go and register for stuff you would never be able to afford on your own. My finance really want to save for our honeymoon rather than ask people for stuff we already have - this is 100% unacceptable? I'm not going ask for cash, we just aren't going to register for gifts. I haven't made a wishlist since I was a kid.... We've started a tradition of visiting a different state park every year (last year was Mount Rainier in WA), we would love to do that for our honeymoon but can't afford it with the wedding planning. Is it really awful to say "in lieu of a list of tangible items, we would rather save for our honeymoon"?
Posted by NovaMetzler[/QUOTE]
I agree!!  I feel like its tackier of us to register for gifts, because we don't "need" anything.  I've lived on my own for over 6yrs & my Fiance has lived with me for around a year.  We have everything we need.  However, we are paying for our entire wedding alone, with that we have no way of going on a honeymoon or even saving for one as together we have 3children.  If we get enough from the reception, then yes we'll use it to go on a honeymoon, but it's not like we're telling people to give us money.  Its just an option thats out there.

MNVegas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_quick-poll-for-the-knot-mag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:2e79db25-01ac-4549-8111-a82fbf835b57Post:d7d0708e-b71e-41c8-9028-8bea45b78196">Re: Quick Poll for The Knot Mag</a>:
[QUOTE]What if you already live together and don't want to register for things? I think it is tacky to go and register for stuff you would never be able to afford on your own. My finance really want to save for our honeymoon rather than ask people for stuff we already have - this is 100% unacceptable? I'm not going ask for cash, we just aren't going to register for gifts. I haven't made a wishlist since I was a kid.... We've started a tradition of visiting a different state park every year (last year was Mount Rainier in WA), we would love to do that for our honeymoon but can't afford it with the wedding planning.<strong> Is it really awful to say "in lieu of a list of tangible items, we would rather save for our honeymoon"?</strong>
Posted by NovaMetzler[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes it is rude to ask for cash in lieu of gifts.</div><div>
</div><div>No one is saying you have to register for things you don't need. If you don't need anything either don't register at all or do a small registry for people who may insist on giving a physical gift. </div><div>
</div><div>People already know that cash is a great gift and they don't need you to tell them to give it as a gift. If someone asks you <strong>directly</strong> what you would like as a gift, you can say we are registered at store x but also saving for a HM. </div><div>
</div><div>BTW, I think your tradition of visiting a national park every year is a great and fun idea. Maybe register for some non-traditional items like camping equipment that you know you will use for your trips.</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_quick-poll-for-the-knot-mag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:2e79db25-01ac-4549-8111-a82fbf835b57Post:d7d0708e-b71e-41c8-9028-8bea45b78196">Re: Quick Poll for The Knot Mag</a>:
[QUOTE]What if you already live together and don't want to register for things? I think it is tacky to go and register for stuff you would never be able to afford on your own. My finance really want to save for our honeymoon rather than ask people for stuff we already have - this is 100% unacceptable? I'm not going ask for cash, we just aren't going to register for gifts. I haven't made a wishlist since I was a kid.... We've started a tradition of visiting a different state park every year (last year was Mount Rainier in WA), we would love to do that for our honeymoon but can't afford it with the wedding planning. Is it really awful to say "in lieu of a list of tangible items, we would rather save for our honeymoon"?
Posted by NovaMetzler[/QUOTE]

Than don't register.  When people ask your family where you are registered for, they can tell them that you really don't need anything but are saving for a trip/house/remodel/etc/

willywally5

You just CAN'T ask for money ... it is tacky and rude. 

If you really don't want anything, don't register. Most people are smart enough to realize if you don't register, that cash is what you'd really prefer. I mean, it's not rocket science.

But know there are some people who simply WILL NOT give cash and will get you some actual gift instead. Assuming this will happen, I would recommend at least a small registry or you might get some gifts that are just not 'you.' 

And TheKnot, just because you might get people to say it's OK or they did it, doesn't mean it is. Cripes, have some integrity with what you promote as being proper and acceptable. 

Ali092011

Seriously?

goobersinlove

Knot Girls, you have been posting a lot of polls lately which suggest that things which are considered against etiquette are reasonable options. Then brides will read your magazines and think these things are okay and not rude because they read it in a wedding magazine.  I don't remember all of them, but there was another one which asked whether or not you were telling your guests what to wear - again, opening up the possibility for interpretting what is a rude option to be acceptable.

NovaMetzler

We aren't going to register at all, if we get gifts we don't like - its not the end of the world. There are certainly worse things in the world. We are getting married because we are in love and want people to share the day with us. Isn't that what really matters? On our website under the registry option, it just says, we have not registered. I don't necessarily need people to "get the hint". We honestly don't need anything, we have each other and are getting married for love, not to get a bunch of stuff. A new blender isn't going to make our marriage any stronger! Besides, I haven't made a wish list since I was a child making my Christmas list. I'm not the kind of girl who says "I'm in love - buy me stuff!"

I like these polls because it allows others to express their opinions. I think many brides are pressured to be traditional and stick to a certain style and traditions, but to me, it is our wedding, we will do what WE want!