Have I lost my mind? All I'm reading is how "just because you invite me to your wedding doesn't entitle you to a gift." Granted, this is about the couple getting married, not about receiving gifts. But I'd feel pretty bad not bringing a gift to a wedding. "Thanks for the food and spending thousands of dollars, later." Do we not bring gifts to baby showers now either? I thought this was a joyous occassion, a group of people coming together to celebrate people they care about taking the next step in life. At one point, everyone received gifts to get them started. Graduation, house warming, wedding, bridal shower and baby showers. I included in my envelope (YES WITH THE INVITATION) a poem. I said the gift of their presence was more than enough, but basically we would prefer donations so we could participate in shore side excusions during our honeymoon cruise. I most certainly was not about to double my postage costs because you aren't SUPPOSE to put gift information in with the invite. And word of mouth doesn't always work across 13 states. You know what else we aren't suppose to do? Move in with our future husbands before marriage, have premarital sex and pay for the wedding ourselves. Times have changed. When did this become about the guests? If you don't want to wish the couple well and feel that a small gift is unreasonable, maybe you shouldn't go to the wedding. I only want to be surrounded by people who care about me at my wedding, If mentioning a gift upsets you, don't come. I'm not looking forward to the backlash on this, but am I really that crazy for SUGGESTING the couple should get to choose what they want their gift to be, should the guest be inclined to give them one. I feel that saying the couple can't choose a monetary gift is like telling them they can't pick what kind of plates they want. It's their gift. Should our kids lose the right to ask for what they want at Christmas? "It's about togetherness, not gifts; and if I feel like getting you a gift at all you should be happy with it." When did etiquette become so snobby?