Honeymoon Registry

ashf614

Hi everyone,

I'm sure this topic has been brought up in the past, but I'm a first time poster so please bare with me! 

My fiance and I have lived together for 3 years and have owned our home for 1 year.  We have a "fully stocked" home and have no need to register for items that we already have.  What does everyone think about honeymoon registries?  My fiance and parents both agree that it is a great idea, however my MIL was completely disgusted with me for even mentioning it.  If people want to spend money on us, I'd rather see them spend money on something we actually need and can use, instead of spending money on items we already have.

HobokensFury

The problem with HM registries is they are deceptive.  They take a portion of the money and then cut you a check.  Nothing actually gets booked or paid for.  This is what makes them tacky.  If you want money then don't register. People will get the hint.

Dreamergirl8812

I researched this topic and found an old poster who said that Honeymoon registries were deceptive. She then explained that she ended up with so many duplicate items that she donated a bunch of it to Goodwill. Talk about deceptive!

ETA: A lot of people claim that couples will take the money and not use it for the honeymoon. So if your loved ones don't trust you then they may have a problem. And if you're a bad person, then it's a problem.

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-21?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3acc8615-b564-4667-a2c4-9ac61db83e13Post:ce3b41f8-cb9e-4554-a589-f2777a531169">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I researched this topic and found an old poster who said that Honeymoon registries were deceptive. She then explained that she ended up with so many duplicate items that she donated a bunch of it to Goodwill. Talk about deceptive! ETA: A lot of people claim that couples will take the money and not use it for the honeymoon. So if your loved ones don't trust you then they may have a problem. And if you're a bad person, then it's a problem.
Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

<div>OP this viewpoint is in the minority on these boards.  The vast majority of posters here understand that it's bad etiquette.</div><div>
</div><div>Here's why:</div><div>
</div><div>-When you register for a toaster, and I add it to my shopping cart and check out, you get a toaster.</div><div>-When you register for dinner on the beach, I add it to my shopping cart and you get a check minus a 7% service charge.</div><div>
</div><div>What you do with your toaster and what you do with your check are your business.  But in one instance I think I'm giving you a toaster and that's what actually happened.  In another I think I'm giving you dinner on the beach and I'm not.  If I wanted to give you a check, I would write you a check.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, people know that money is welcome.  They know how to drive through an ATM or write your name on the "pay to order of" line.  You don't need a gimmick for people to give you cash.  Just don't register - or even better make a very small registy - and call it a day.  You MIL is right to be appalled.</div>

Avion22

Also?  Nobody wants to fund your sex-fest vacation.  

A lot of people find Honeymoon Registries off-putting or even tacky.  If you do one, you run the risk of offending a lot of people on your guest-list.   I suspect that people who tell you it's a "wonderful idea" are trying to be polite and don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you what a horrible idea it actually is.

jessicabessica

Read the sticky note on this board about HM registries.  

Then, think about the fact that reasonable people disagree on this (although a lot of people here don't like them, and I don't like them), but your MIL is appalled at the thought of a HM registry.  I would take that as a sign that a good chunk of your guest list will feel similarly to your MIL.  Why would your risk offending all those people or having them think that you're greedy and tactless?

AdeleDazeem

I would skip the honeymoon registry and make a small traditional registry instead.  This way, you aren't offending anyone with your choices and the small registry sends the message that you don't need much and cash will be given in many cases. 

There's no need to register with some website, which will take a cut of the money before giving you a check, when you can just cut out the middle man and not offend anyone.  Isn't that so much easier?  People don't need a website to know cash is always a good gift.

We did this, by the way.  We had about 150 people at our reception.  We registered for ~ 15 things at BBB.  We got a few boxed gifts and then a boatload of cash.  Win-win.

Summer2011Bride

The majority of posters in this thread have already given great advice and explained why they are considered "tacky."

I want to ditto getting a small traditional registry. H and I have lived together 4+ years and still we find things on the regular that we need or want for our house. This is even after having two fairly large traditional registries for our wedding in '11. If nothing else, you can register for upgrades on items you currently have but are getting older, and there are always things you could use more of (like new towels, dish towes, sheets, etc.).

If even that idea turns you off, don't register at all. If people ask, just say you are saving up for an awesome HM. They will get the hint that cash is appreciated. Plus even with our two registries, most of our wedding guests gave us cash (whereas, at my showers, they were all boxed gifts). People understand that newlyweds would appreciate money and if they want to give you a check, they will. Don't deceive them into thinking they're buying you an awesome excursion for your HM when actually you're just getting a check in the mail from a third party website.

Lored

I love that everyone refers to honeymoon as "sexfest". FI prob thinks that, I just want to lie on the beach LOL! Does "sexfest" count if you've been together for years and years

Ctrossello

LOL "sexfest".  I mean, you do need to take some breaks to eat right - helps keep your stamina up!!

Do both a traditional registry and honeyfund if that is what you want.  This way, you get what you and your FI like, plus your MIL and anyone else who doesn't like them can buy you a gift off the traditional registry.

I had a wedding webiste and put in a small blurb about what the honeyfund was, how it worked, and why we wanted to try out something a bit different.  I also listed out where else I was registered (i.e. Macy's, Amazon).  At my shower I got a nice mix of gifts for the home, cash, and fun honeymoon activities.