registry for honeymoon?

lcolovesyou

how can i classily suggest to have wedding gifts be the funding of the honeymoon? are there good websites that allow you to set something like that up?

Thank you 

beardownbchs

You can't. Honeymoon registries are rude. Please read the second sticky from the top. I think it's called "Thinking about a honeymoon regsitry?".

Peledreamsofrain

They aren't just rude, they're silly.  All honeymoon registries dip into the 'donations' and take a percentage.  Why give them your money?  It seriously boggles my mind.

Just spread it via word of mouth that you are looking for cash over items, create a tiny registry so you don't recieve12 toasters from people who refuse to gift cash, and get ALL the money they want to give to you.  Viola, no rudeness, no stupid corporation skimming your gifts for their own pockets.

hoffse

Also?  Do yourself and your new marriage a favor by planning the honeymoon you can afford without cash gifts.  You need to be able to pay for your flights/transportation, lodging/hotel, and food free and clear of any monetary gifts you receive. The flights and hotel need to be paid for before the wedding is over, so you really shouldn't be banking on cash gifts for these two items.  Since they are the bulk of the honeymoon expense for most couple, honeymoon registries are actually sort of pointless.

 A lot of couples get in trouble by assuming they will collect enough money from wedding gifts to reimburse their honeymoon costs.  This is a really big mistake. Cash gifts vary a lot by circle, and in many circles it is just not common.  We aren't married yet but we've received a lot of gifts.  So far we've gotten 3 cash gifts out of 50 or so.  Cash is just not something our circle generally does, and if we were planning on paying for our honeymoon with it, we'd be screwed.

I think it's fine to treat yourself to something nice once you see what you actually get - maybe a massage or a fancy bottle of wine at dinner or something.  But guests are not obligated to fund your vacation, and you need to be prepared to pay for the essentials on your own.

The other thing about this?  Honeymoons are entirely unnecessasry - a lot of people don't get one - so asking guests to pay for it is actually pretty tacky.  As a guest I would be especially disinclined to fund somebody else's honeymoon if theirs was more elaborate than mine or if I didn't get to take one at all.  If you can't afford it without wedding gifts, then make a small registry, see how much you get, and THEN set a budget for a vacation a few months later.  Or wait until your 1 yr anniversary and take a kick-ass trip.  I feel like I've said this 100 times, but the honeymoon does not need to be the vacation of a lifetime.  Most couples are young and close to broke (because of wedding expenses) when they honeymoon... no need to put yourself in debt for a vacation that you could afford to take a year or two later.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3effe7c5-25bd-4528-a70c-5a0d8be74402Post:8324bb29-dd8c-44a4-9d0f-d81a7b2a8bff">registry for honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]how can i classily suggest to have wedding gifts be the funding of the honeymoon? are there good websites that allow you to set something like that up? Thank you 
Posted by lcolovesyou[/QUOTE]
There are really no classy ways to go about this directly.
You can try word of mouth... If a guest asks what you want, you (or whomever) can say, "Well, Bride and Groom are registered HERE, but I know they're also saving up for a honeymoon."
This way the guest can buy you a gift or give you money without you having to ask for cash.

There are a few honeymoon websites, but no good ones. They all either charge you, charge your guest, or the site itself uses Paypal, which takes a withdrawal fee. Honeymoon fund websites causes you to lose money because no matter what, a chunk of the gift goes into <em>their</em> pockets. I really urge you to stay away from them.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:3effe7c5-25bd-4528-a70c-5a0d8be74402Post:8324bb29-dd8c-44a4-9d0f-d81a7b2a8bff">registry for honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]how can i <strong>classily</strong> suggest to have wedding gifts be the funding of the honeymoon? are there good websites that allow you to set something like that up? Thank you 
Posted by lcolovesyou[/QUOTE]

Im sorry, classily?  That's a new one.

AddieCake

Asking for money is always in bad taste. 

Like Bear and Bartender said, read the sticky at the top of this page, called "Thinking of a Honeymoon Registry?" to get a better understanding of this topic. Hopefully, it will change your mind about doing this. 

KerisaHarman21

My friend who recently got married asked for money for their honeymoon instead of gifts but she has been living in Australia with her now Husband (thats how they met, she moved there) so it was not practical for people to give her gifts since she was just having her weding/reception here and then heading back to Australia directly after the wedding, but otherwise I would just list where you are registered at, i've seen on pinterest several pins about putting a honeymoon jar on the head table or they are large glasses with the bride and grooms name on it and whoever has the most money it in gets the cake in their face...so there are other ways around a honeymoon registry just saying!

nesneve

We put it on our website, and people are contacting us for account numbers - we've set up an account for the wedding. Voila, no service fees.

And (although I know it's blasphemy in here to say it) I don't think it's rude to ask for contributions. In a lot of countries cash is the only thing you should ask for. You're asking for gifts - they do cost money. No one's demanding any gifts or donations, but most people want to get you something you like - why not a honeymoon contribution or contribution towards something else you'd love, instead of a present you don't really need or want? I don't quite get it. It's not like you're asking them to pay their food, just that they consider giving you the money they would have spent on a present (if they were planning to give you something) directly to you instead of going to the shops. Is it rude because you get to know the exact amount of money spent?

But then again I'm not from the US. And our guests are all from abroad, and will have to bring presents to the venue as is customary here. I think they appreciate not having to haul toasters on the plane, to the church and beyond Although it would be a fun sight to behold - I'm picturing a nicely dressed, toaster-hauling zombie army...

KerisaHarman21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:3effe7c5-25bd-4528-a70c-5a0d8be74402Post:9684cf2d-4844-4a3a-91ff-ea11c0d7073c">Re: registry for honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]i've seen on pinterest several pins about putting a honeymoon jar on the head table or they are large glasses with the bride and grooms name on it and whoever has the most money it in gets the cake in their face...so there are other ways around a honeymoon registry just saying ! Oh, isn't THAT classy.....shoving cake into the perfeclty made-up face of a lovely bride in her costly designer gown????? What ignorant hick thought up THAT???? Registries fly under the radar because they are not a request for money.  They're a wish list of items, much like a Christmas list, that no one is required to use.  The information is only furnished when people ask for it, and they must go to the store to look it up if they are so inclined.  It's accepted that a couple needs certain items in order to set up housekeeping. It's never polite to ask someone for their money, or to pay your bills for you. This has nothing to do with "tradition" either.  It has to do with etiquette, which is about being polite and on good behavior.  Having a traditional wedding is following a set of customs, such as wearing a white dress and tossing a bouquet.  None of those things has anything to do with being rude to someone. Weddings are a big business, and everyone wants a piece of them: dress shops, shoe stores, jewelers, florists, hair salons, cosmeticians, limousine rentals, caterers....the list goes on. Travel agents thought, "Hey!  Couples want to take honeymoons! Let's start a honeymoon registry business and make some money off weddings!" Realtors thought, "Hey! Newlyweds need a place to live! Let's start a house registry and make some money off weddings!" They don't care if it's rude.  They're finished with you once your wedding is over and they've made their sale, and could care less if you've offended your family and friends. Last year somebody posted about a "financial registry" in which people could purchase a "stock portfolio" to "help the couple start their financial future."  Dodge has started a "car registry." See where I'm going with this? Would you walk up to your friends on a normal day and say, "I want to go to the Bahamas, and I can't afford the trip.  I want each of you to give me twenty dollars to put toward the cost"?  Would you go into a bar, put an empty glass on the table, and shout, "Hey! I can't pay my rent this month.  I'll dance for five minutes with anyone who will pay me a dollar." Think about it.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I personally would not care about having cake shoved into my face or falling onto my dress i'm only wearing it once but will have lifetime memories and I don't feel like you need to say that some Hick came up with that, not everyone is going to have a $3,000+ dress at their wedding, Just saying..........