Is it "OK" to open gifts before the shower or wedding...

mcb126 · February 2012

I hope this doesn't come across as me being greedy because it is entirely excitement!

Very excited to have received two packages on my front porch today! They obviously are wedding gifts, but here's the dilemma: My fiance has the notion that we're supposed to wait for the wedding or shower. I thought we could open them now, because I read that you should get the thank you cards out ASAP so you don't come off as rude or unappreciative.

I'm hope someone has some advice because I have these two rather large boxes sitting in my living room waiting to be opened! Thank you!!

LeiselEB · February 2012

The rule is that you don't use them until after the wedding. If they've been sent to you I'd assume that the senders expect you to at least open the packages. I'd send a thank you right away so they know you got it.

jessicabessica · February 2012

Open the gifts to make sure everything is intact and send a thank you note right away. Do not use until after the wedding.

meganb1977 · February 2012

Ditto pp's, share the moment with your fiance and open your boxes so you can make sure everything came through all right and acknowledge the gifts.

Jules1986 · February 2012

I know a lot of couples that began using their gifts as soon as they arrived. many were just buying houses and had nothing. one or both of them were living in the house so they needed those items. some of the gifts off their registry were given to them as housewarming/christmas/birthday gifts also. I've never found it rude or have been offended that my friends used their gifts from me before their wedding. I know etiquette says not to, but like I said, I've never been offended by couples that do.

but certainly open them :-)

tldh · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-ok-to-open-gifts-before-the-shower-or-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:42e76ee7-1a61-4529-a5ab-699967a91262Post:fb4b84b2-dbad-49d1-80cc-612645d58e49">Re: Is it "OK" to open gifts before the shower or wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]I know a lot of couples that began using their gifts as soon as they arrived. many were just buying houses and had nothing. one or both of them were living in the house so they needed those items. some of the gifts off their registry were given to them as housewarming/christmas/birthday gifts also. I've never found it rude or have been offended that my friends used their gifts from me before their wedding.<strong> I know etiquette says not to, but like I said, I've never been offended by couples that do.</strong> but certainly open them :-)
Posted by Jules1986[/QUOTE]

You don't use them beforehand because if the wedding were not to happen (however unlikely, it's always possible), you must return all shower and wedding gifts to the person who gave them.

Jules1986 · February 2012

I understand why you aren't supposed to, I'm simply saying it doesn't bother me. That being said, I've also never been in a situation where I questioned whether the couple would make it down the aisle.

tldh · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-ok-to-open-gifts-before-the-shower-or-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:42e76ee7-1a61-4529-a5ab-699967a91262Post:3e58415d-0988-4a56-8201-319c9bf1c6a3">Re: Is it "OK" to open gifts before the shower or wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand why you aren't supposed to, I'm simply saying it doesn't bother me. That being said, I've also never been in a situation where I questioned whether the couple would make it down the aisle.
Posted by Jules1986[/QUOTE]

Way to miss the point. It's not about whether the guests will be offended.

Jules1986 · February 2012

not missing the point at all tldh. I completely understand the etiquette. Weddings can be called off regardless of how unlikely it seems that might happen. Gifts should be returned in those cases. I can still say that regardless of that, I don't care if someone uses my gift before they are married. That's simply how I feel. I'm sure the majority of people disagree. I did not tell the OP to go with my opinion. I did not say my opinion is the way things should be.

tldh · February 2012

Jules - I don't think anyone is offended if gifts are used before the wedding. I think they would be offended if they get a used crock pot sent back to them if the wedding is called off.