Asking for gifts to be shipped...

bachateracubana

Hi everyone,

I have a sort of complicated situation. I live in CA, but I'm moving to DC (where my fiancee lives) in May and getting married in the Caribbean in July. I'm having my bridal shower in early March in CA, because my friends won't be able to travel to the wedding.

I'm syncing my registries on GiftRegistry360, and I know that one individual registry shows our DC address. I've been reading that it's not appropriate to say explicit things about preferences for gifts, so how can I let people know they would be doing me a huge favor by shipping my shower gifts (except for lingerie, which doesn't take up much space) to DC so that I don't have to deal with the hassle/money of shipping them or traveling with them while moving cross-country at the same time???

I was thinking the shower hostesses could write a small note on the invite. Any other suggestions??? Thanks!!!

ElisabethJoanne

If you accept a Cal. shower, you accept the responsibility to ship gifts from Cal. to D.C. The fun (or curse, depending on your perspective) of showers is to see the bride open the gifts. You can't open the gifts and then hand them back to be shipped by the giver.

Alternative: Besides just having a lingerie shower, could you set up a registry of easy-to-ship things, and only include that registry info in connection with the shower? Easy-to-ship things would basically be linens.

Other people return all their shower gifts and re-purchase them in their new location.

Avion22

I'm in the military stationed overseas, and the wedding is back in the states.  I've only selected registries that will ship to my overseas APO address (military PO box -- costs the same as shipping within the US).

You're right, it's not polite to state your shipping preferences, HOWEVER your guests should know where you live, and most will be considerate enough to have gifts shipped to your home in DC.  You've helped by listing this as your shipping address on your registry.

The exception, and ElisabethJoanne said, is showers.  People will want to give you physical gifts for your showers, and you should not expect them to ship these gifts to DC for you.   However, I can say from experience that those flat-rate boxes offered by the USPS are AWESOME, especially for heavy things (kitchen utensils, small applicances, etc), or tightly-folded linens.    For less-dense things, it doesn't cost much to send things via parcel-post or even priority mail in a normal box.      Whoever is hosting your shower can spread the word that you will be shipping shower gifts back to DC, and can politely recommend easy-to-ship gifts.  Having a separate registry for your shower with easy-to-ship items would also be helpful.  

jessicabessica

You are responsible for shipping any gifts you receive.  If you didn't want to have to deal with shipping and transporting things, you should have declined the shower.  Showers aren't much fun if the gifts aren't there.  

You could return things and rebuy once you get to DC.  I wouldn't do this for a lot of gifts--what if something is discontinued, and I think it would be dishonest to return everything if you don't intend to rebuy the same thing--but if you got something very breakable or difficult to ship that could easily be returned, you could consider that option.  

aragx6

I wouldn't attend a shower for which I was asked to ship a gift. I always give cash for the wedding so this would be no issue for me, and it's likely that many of your guests will understand the need to give cash/ship the gift to your new home, but if folks bring you a gift it's your responsibility to get it to your new home.

meganb1977

It is okay for you or the hostess(es) to spread word of mouth if anyone comments about what to get you for your shower..."Oh it doesn't have to be anything big, you know she'll have to get it back to DC, I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift card so she can get something left on her registry after the wedding."

adktd2boots

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_asking-gifts-shipped?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:470711cc-3a42-46e3-8ef8-0f14a4a5a59aPost:848f44c4-e4eb-4a91-af7e-b86c85700436">Re: Asking for gifts to be shipped...</a>:
[QUOTE]It is okay for you or the hostess(es) to spread word of mouth if anyone comments about what to get you for your shower..."Oh it doesn't have to be anything big, you know she'll have to get it back to DC, I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift card so she can get something left on her registry after the wedding."
Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

No.  Because it never has to be anything big.  Size or dollar wise.  it's what the person wants to give you.  And really, who wants to watch someone open a bunch of gift cards?

calliopeia2013

Interestingly, Miss Manners just wrote on this today.  Short summary of what she said is what PPs have said.  And that you shouldn't return and rebuy, because that's really rude- and if you do, you DEFINITELY shouldn't publicize what you're doing.

bachateracubana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_asking-gifts-shipped?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:470711cc-3a42-46e3-8ef8-0f14a4a5a59aPost:848f44c4-e4eb-4a91-af7e-b86c85700436">Re: Asking for gifts to be shipped...</a>:
[QUOTE]It is okay for you or the hostess(es) to spread word of mouth if anyone comments about what to get you for your shower..."Oh it doesn't have to be anything big, you know she'll have to get it back to DC, I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift card so she can get something left on her registry after the wedding."
Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

This was the best piece of advice. Thanks fellow brides for all the input!!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

I guess I will just have to deal with it. I'll probably be shipping some gifts ahead of time and taking others in our suitcases when I leave CA. I hadn't even thought of the returning and re-buying option...that does seem really rude, and I wouldn't do that unless it was something that was just too fragile to ship/travel with, like Jessica said.

And thanks for the heads up with the website, Edielaura.  So far I haven't had any problems, although there was a recent notice saying that they were temporarily uable to sync Target registries, which is just annoying.