Shower or no shower?

lizardocu

We plan on a small destination wedding of 25-30 family members.  Do we still register for gifts?  We don't need much because we are both over 30 and already live together.  Also, if someone offers to throw us a shower, do we invite friends and family that are not invited to the wedding? 

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-or-no-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:48117378-86f6-4c3d-ac3a-80f712cabd49Post:949bfe0b-cf85-4946-a2d9-aa16e6b8c8cb">Shower or no shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]We plan on a small destination wedding of 25-30 family members.  Do we still register for gifts? <strong>You can.</strong> We don't need much because we are both over 30 and already live together.  Also, if someone offers to throw us a shower, do we invite friends and family that are not invited to the wedding? <strong>No.</strong>
Posted by lizardocu[/QUOTE]

People may want to buy you something, so I suggest creating a small registry of things you'd like to upgrade or nonessentials you haven't gotten around to buying for yourself.  Don't put registry info in the invitations--have it spread by word of mouth if people ask where you are registered, or you can put it on a wedding website.

<div>Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower (or any pre-wedding party).  If you do accept a shower, I would have a registry to help people figure out what to get as a shower gift.  Registry info may go in shower invitations (up to the shower hostess).</div>

MNVegas

You certainly can create a small registry for people who want to give a physical gift.

Agree w/pp, only people invited to the wedding are invited to a shower.

librababy

A registry would be nice (small one) for the people who would love to get you a gift.

If you are a from a circle where etiquette is followed to a T and people might feel weirded out that they got an invite to your shower but not your wedding, then just stick to the wedding guest list for the bridal shower.  If it's not a big deal to invite people to your shower that arent on your wedding list then you can go ahead.  SOme people want to celebrate with you in any event, so if the shower is the one event they can celebrate with you for your wedidng, they might want to be there. I was invited to 3 showers where I wasn't invited to the wedding.  It's pretty typical here.

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-or-no-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:48117378-86f6-4c3d-ac3a-80f712cabd49Post:4156552b-3074-4796-a870-3bf580a4b6ad">Re: Shower or no shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]A registry would be nice (small one) for the people who would love to get you a gift. If you are a from a circle where etiquette is followed to a T and people might feel weirded out that they got an invite to your shower but not your wedding, then just stick to the wedding guest list for the bridal shower.  If it's not a big deal to invite people to your shower that arent on your wedding list then you can go ahead.  SOme people want to celebrate with you in any event, so if the shower is the one event they can celebrate with you for your wedidng, they might want to be there. I was invited to 3 showers where I wasn't invited to the wedding.  It's pretty typical here.
Posted by librababy[/QUOTE]

<div>Strictly speaking this breaks etiquette.  OP, even if you wouldn't be offended, others might be so I would avoid this.  The one exception are work and church showers - those can involve people not invited to the wedding, because they are common enough and people understand that you will have limited space.</div>

bmiller1128

My FI and I are doing a DW too, my girls are still throwing me a shower and people who are not invited to the wedding are invited to the shower, however, we plan on having a reception at home and all the people who are invited to my shower are invited to the reception. I don't think a shower is strictly about gifts, you invite someone because you're celebrating your marriage....who says they even need to bring an extravagant gift, there's free food and lots of games. Presents are not soley the only purpose for a shower.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-or-no-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:48117378-86f6-4c3d-ac3a-80f712cabd49Post:193a9eb7-efdb-428e-8014-26825ab4ef02">Re: Shower or no shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are doing a DW too, my girls are still throwing me a shower and people who are not invited to the wedding are invited to the shower, however, we plan on having a reception at home and all the people who are invited to my shower are invited to the reception. I don't think a shower is strictly about gifts, you invite someone because you're celebrating your marriage....who says they even need to bring an extravagant gift, there's free food and lots of games<strong>. Presents are not soley the only purpose for a shower.
</strong>Posted by bmiller1128[/QUOTE]

Yes, they literally are. A shower is meant to "shower" the bride with gifts. That is literally its entire purpose for existing.

bmiller1128

oh well...my bad. I still say go for it. It's your wedding do what you want! I feel like if you invite people like your grandma, or family who can't make it to the wedding due to finacial situations then they would enjoy to at least have some part in your marriage.