Registry and Gift Forum

In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?

My fiance and I have lived together for almost 4 years, we really don't NEED anything. Would it be rude to ask guests to, instead of buying gifts, to chip in for our honeymoon? Someone else actually suggested it to me, and I didn't think it was a half bad idea, I just don't know if that's rude. Thanks ladies! -Rachel
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Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?

  • sure didn't... I have no idea how this website works yet, I'll check it, thanks :)
  • Yes, it's rude.  Just like you don't ask your guests to pay for their dinner (chip in for your wedding), you don't ask them to pay for your vacation.  Upgrade some of your household items like towels, dishes, or cookware or just don't register at all.  You never ask for money.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:067c7f73-4762-4cdf-b5d5-bb63a351d762">In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I have lived together for almost 4 years, we really don't NEED anything. Would it be rude to ask guests to, instead of buying gifts, to chip in for our honeymoon? Someone else actually suggested it to me, and I didn't think it was a half bad idea, I just don't know if that's rude. Thanks ladies! -Rachel
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]
    JIC
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:dbcbb0ae-c72e-48e4-8a90-55b68a489361">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, it's rude.  Just like you don't ask your guests to pay for their dinner (chip in for your wedding), you don't ask them to pay for your vacation.  Upgrade some of your household items like towels, dishes, or cookware or just don't register at all.  You never ask for money.
    Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

    Please read this again.  Only this time use my voice.  Because it's what I would tell you also.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    tanyantucker
  • If you don't register for much your guests will get the hint that you prefer money- and/or your family can spread by word of mouth that you are saving for a honeymoon.

    Some guests always give gifts, so you should make a small registry- as well as for any showers you might be thrown.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Asking for money (or any gift) is always rude.

    You can do a small registry or no registry and have your mom or whomever spread the word that you are saving for a honeymoon.  But you can't come right out and ask for it.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:eed320d9-7220-425f-8654-14f565e2c83d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I didn't think of it that way, just asking for money... it's still putting that money towards something. I just didn't know if like Sandals or some other all inclusive resort had some kind of wedding registry wish list type of thing. I believe in 'less is more', and would hate to have my friends and family spend money on things we don't need, like more house stuff... and to the person who said we don't NEED a honeymoon... darling, yes, yes we do ;)  I work from home and I'm with my babies 24/7, and my fiance and I haven't had date night in... years. A honeymoon is the PERFECT 'reset button' to help us clear our heads and actually enjoy our first few days of being married. I'm not looking for a full blown vacation, just maybe a long weekend away, because honestly, I couldn't be away from my kids longer than that. I just need a refresher ;)
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    Again, you don't NEED a honeymoon, just like you don't NEED all of those things for your house.  Plenty of brides on here have ridiculously stressful lives.  Most of us work multiple jobs (as do our BFs, FIs, and Hs) and have tons of responsibilities.  I haven't been on a date with FI in years either.  Do a small registry if you want, and decline any showers (since people will bring gifts, not money, to showers).  Otherwise, I would just suggest planning a modest honeymoon within your budget.
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  • edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:eed320d9-7220-425f-8654-14f565e2c83d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I didn't think of it that way, just asking for money... it's still putting that money towards something. I just didn't know if like Sandals or some other all inclusive resort had some kind of wedding registry wish list type of thing. I believe in 'less is more', and would hate to have my friends and family spend money on things we don't need, like more house stuff...<strong> and to the person who said we don't NEED a honeymoon... darling, yes, yes we do ;)  I work from home and I'm with my babies 24/7, and my fiance and I haven't had date night in... years. A honeymoon is the PERFECT 'reset button' to help us clear our heads and actually enjoy our first few days of being married. I'm not looking for a full blown vacation, just maybe a long weekend away, because honestly, I couldn't be away from my kids longer than that.</strong> I just need a refresher ;)
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Then by your definition, cupcake, WE ALL NEED A HONEYMOON.  But guess what, not all of us even <strong>considered</strong> asking others to contribute into a fund for us to take a vacation.  Because it never occurred to us to ask for a hand out, we're taking our vacation a full year after after our wedding to go on a VACATION.  Sure, we're thinking of it as a honeymoon, but it is really nothing more than a vacation.</div><div>
    </div><div>Now, let's talk about your justification for needing a honeymoon.  You have kids, blah blah.  Big whoopdie doo.  I don't, nor will I ever, have kids.  That's my choice.  But lots of folks are in the same position and they're not begging for hand outs. </div><div>
    </div><div>I'm now going back to filing some court oppositions to help people from getting their houses foreclosed.</div><div>
    </div><div>Oh, the humanity.</div><div>
    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:35f2a919-9e7d-48b7-8a2e-f7f84e373eca">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, you people are so harsh.  She was asking for ADVICE not to be berated for asking a question.  That is the premise of this website, isn't it? @Mom2em:  I think the comments that suggested you create a small registery is def a good idea.  A friend of mine had a place on her wedding website where guests could donate to their honeymoon too as their gift.  So there is a choice of a gift off the registry or a gift of $$ towards the honeymoon.  I didn't find it tacky or rude at all. Good Luck!  Hope you get your well deserved honeymoon!
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    1) So you're not being harsh by telling people that they're being harsh?  How is that comment constructive based on your reasoning that these forums exist?

    2) Advice does not mean validation.  It can be frank, to the point and without mincing words.  In this case it's letting the OP know that her idea was indeed rude.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:90fb204d-8a87-4813-bc91-8333c15e2bf3">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]@banana: No I don't feel I am "being harsh by telling people that they're being harsh."  I think a few people on here are being insulting towards mom2em and I've noticed this trend on a lot of threads. You don't have to be kiss a brides a** but there are much nicer ways to offer constructive criticism. @garcias:  No one is saying she is MORE deserving of a HM than you.  IMO youre taking it way too personal...  If she feels she really needs a break and would like to go on a weekend getaway with her husband - who are you to judge her  
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    I'm not taking anything personally.  I'm also not judging her or you or anyone else.  I was informing OP that her wording may make her come off as thinking she is entitled to a HM, which will not bode well on these boards.  Many of the ladies on here never took a HM and don't consider it a necessity.  It still doesn't change my original argument that asking for money for a HM is going to bother some people, possibly even some of her guests.  This is advice for her to take so that she can make an informed decision and hopefully avoid negative feelings/feedback from her guests.
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  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:90fb204d-8a87-4813-bc91-8333c15e2bf3">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]@banana: No I don't feel I am "being harsh by telling people that they're being harsh."  I think a few people on here are being insulting towards mom2em and I've noticed this trend on a lot of threads. You don't have to be kiss a brides a** but there are much nicer ways to offer constructive criticism. @garcias:  No one is saying she is MORE deserving of a HM than you.  IMO youre taking it way too personal...  If she feels she really needs a break and would like to go on a weekend getaway with her husband - how does that make her a bridezilla?  Sounds more like a stressed out mom who wants a weekend away with her Husband.  Pretty typical if you ask me.
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    If she wants a weekend away with her new husband, that is great and we are all happy for her!  Just, here's the point:  <strong>PAY FOR IT YOURSELF</strong>.  Asking your guests to pay for your vacation is asking them for money.  It is rude.  It always has been rude and always will be rude.  Just because some people aren't offended by it doesn't make it not rude.

    If you don't want housewares, then very simply don't register for them.  Don't have a registry and don't have a shower and you will most likely get cash gifts that you can then choose to use for your honeymoon.  That is fine and not rude.

    Setting up a registry soliciting for donations to pay for your honeymoon is a cash registry, and that is rude.  Plain and simple.  Not harsh, just truth.

    ETA: i don't get why this concept is so hard to understand.  Sheesh!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:67fe9fde-0b2a-4fe6-a3c8-203cf9cd4dd6">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude? : If she wants a weekend away with her new husband, that is great and we are all happy for her!  Just, here's the point:  PAY FOR IT YOURSELF .  Asking your guests to pay for your vacation is asking them for money.  It is rude.  It always has been rude and always will be rude.  Just because some people aren't offended by it doesn't make it not rude. If you don't want housewares, then very simply don't register for them.  Don't have a registry and don't have a shower and you will most likely get cash gifts that you can then choose to use for your honeymoon.  That is fine and not rude. Setting up a registry soliciting for donations to pay for your honeymoon is a cash registry, and that is rude.  Plain and simple.  Not harsh, just truth. ETA: i don't get why this concept is so hard to understand.  Sheesh!
    Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

    Apparently stating it over and over isn't going to help either.  But here's a high five to you and banana, lol.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:eed320d9-7220-425f-8654-14f565e2c83d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I didn't think of it that way, just asking for money... it's still putting that money towards something. I just didn't know if like Sandals or some other all inclusive resort had some kind of wedding registry wish list type of thing. I believe in 'less is more', and would hate to have my friends and family spend money on things we don't need, like more house stuff... <strong><em>and to the person who said we don't NEED a honeymoon... darling, yes, yes we do ;)</em></strong>  I work from home and I'm with my babies 24/7, and my fiance and I haven't had date night in... years. A honeymoon is the PERFECT 'reset button' to help us clear our heads and actually enjoy our first few days of being married. I'm not looking for a full blown vacation, just maybe a long weekend away, because honestly, I couldn't be away from my kids longer than that. I just need a refresher ;)
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    I am assuming that no one has explained to you the difference between WANT and NEED???
    5.21.11
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  • Since quoting me seems to be the thing to do.. I'll continue that trend =)

    [QUOTE]@Mom2em:  I think the comments that suggested you create a small registery is def a good idea.  A friend of mine had a place on her wedding website where guests could donate to their honeymoon too, as their gift.  So there is a choice of a gift off the registry or a gift of $$ towards the honeymoon.  I didn't find it tacky or rude at all. Good Luck!  Hope you get your well deserved honeymoon!
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    One more thing Mom2em:  Your true friends and close family members won't be talking trash about your registry behind your back.  Do what you feel comfortable with.  GL!

    And I won't be posting on this particular thread anymore since this isn't my battle to fight and to be honest - I just don't care enough to continue this obnoxious conversation...  Have fun on your high horses!
  • *eyeroll*

    OP, you're coming off like a princess. You don't NEED a honeymoon. You would very much LIKE one. That is not the same thing and you would do well to remember that.

    There are no honeymoon registries (to my knowledge) that actually let you register for REAL things. Oh sure, you put that the guest is buying a "candlelit dinner for two" or "snorkeling at Grand Cayman" blah blah blah. In reality, the company is taking the money, taking a portion off the top, and giving you the net difference. Your guests are almost never aware that there is a service charge that they're basically paying for and you don't actually get all the money that was intended to you.

    Now wouldn't you rather get checks un-service charged from friends and family when they realize you've registered for like 10 things? Everyone loves money and knows that people like getting money as a gift. People are smart. They'll figure it out.

    I guarantee you will be side eyed by at least one relative who will choose not to gift you anything at all because of your rude choice to basically set up a Paypal account and deceive them into "buying" things when you're really just getting a bulk check that you could blow on a house or a boat or any number of other things besides the "items" you registered for.

    Lying to your friends and family and asking for money is just about as rude as it gets. Please reconsider.

    Erica, the fact that you would condone behavior that could very WELL alienate OP from her guests because you think a honeymoon registry would be a good proving ground of their affections is pretty irresponsible of you. You won't be missed on this thread.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:6ebc4170-601a-4266-9bf5-1f657ec684cb">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since quoting me seems to be the thing to do.. I'll continue that trend =) One more thing Mom2em:  Your true friends and close family members won't be talking trash about your registry behind your back. 
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    LMAO! Of course people will talk behind her back and they will never forget that she actually was RUDE enough to ask her guests to pay for her HM.

    OP: Yes, it is always rude to ask for cash even when you try to disguise it as a HM registry.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:eed320d9-7220-425f-8654-14f565e2c83d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I didn't think of it that way, just asking for money... it's still putting that money towards something. I just didn't know if like Sandals or some other all inclusive resort had some kind of wedding registry wish list type of thing. I believe in 'less is more', and would hate to have my friends and family spend money on things we don't need, like more house stuff...<strong> and to the person who said we don't NEED a honeymoon... darling, yes, yes we do ;)  I work from home and I'm with my babies 24/7, and my fiance and I haven't had date night in... years. A honeymoon is the PERFECT 'reset button' to help us clear our heads and actually enjoy our first few days of being married. I'm not looking for a full blown vacation, just maybe a long weekend away, because honestly, I couldn't be away from my kids longer than that. I just need a refresher ;)</strong>
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    You NEED water and food. You NEED clothes on your back. You don't NEED a vacation; you WANT one. And it is rude to ask your guests to pay for one, regardless of where it is or how long it is. The end.


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    Vacation
  • OP, if you or anyone else feels like the comments are harsh, then fine. But you cannot deny that most people on this board are telling you that a HM registry is not okay. Take all the other words out of the posts, ignore anything else you need to ignore to be able to realize these posts were not a personal attack, and that these people are giving you honest, no bs feedback on an idea. It takes some getting used to, but you'll figure it out. Take the feedback to heart and realize when you've had a bad idea. It's okay, you weren't the first, and you won't be the last.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:67fe9fde-0b2a-4fe6-a3c8-203cf9cd4dd6">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude? : <strong>If she wants a weekend away with her new husband, that is great and we are all happy for her!  Just, here's the point:  PAY FOR IT YOURSELF .</strong>  Asking your guests to pay for your vacation is asking them for money.  It is rude.  It always has been rude and always will be rude.  Just because some people aren't offended by it doesn't make it not rude. If you don't want housewares, then very simply don't register for them.  Don't have a registry and don't have a shower and you will most likely get cash gifts that you can then choose to use for your honeymoon.  That is fine and not rude. Setting up a registry soliciting for donations to pay for your honeymoon is a cash registry, and that is rude.  Plain and simple.  Not harsh, just truth. ETA: i don't get why this concept is so hard to understand.  Sheesh!
    Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

    Exactly!
    imageimageimage
  • @erica1011... thank you. This is my first time on here and I had NO idea that people were like this!! Wow. Aren't we all supposed to be sharing excitement with each other?! Hello! We're getting married or are already married to the people we love. WTH.
  • IN ADDITION, if the shoe was on the other foot, I would GLADLY put money towards a friends or family members honeymoon if that's what the truly wanted. Maybe some of you are much more well off than we are... good for you, pay for your own honeymoon. Not all of us have money to throw around. AND I was able to go to another site to answer my own question... some all inclusive honeymoon packages actually have wedding registries! So it's can't be all that un-PC if things like this actually exist... not saying we're going to do it, but it's still an option for me. I just feel sorry for the women on here who are so adament about their point of view being 'right'... just because someone see's things a different way, doesn't mean it's wrong.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:6d0cb5ef-fc94-4146-9dc6-e0f362033d17">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]@erica1011... thank you. This is my first time on here and I had NO idea that people were like this!! Wow. Aren't we all supposed to be sharing excitement with each other?! Hello! We're getting married or are already married to the people we love. WTH.
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    <div>Actually, no.  The point is to get help with all aspects of wedding planning.  Sometimes that help involves helping someone not embarrass themselves by doing something so disgustingly rude.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you don't care whether or not you offend your guests, that's fine.  But the ladies who post here to caution you are actually trying to help you avoid offending your guests.  </div>
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2010
    Here's the deal.  If what you want is money to put towards a honeymoon then don't register at all or create a small registry for the people that want to purchase a physical gift.  The others will get the hint (or your family and BP can spread by word of mouth) that you're saving up for a honeymoon and they will give you cash.  There's no real need to create a honeymoon registry when people can just give you straight out cash.  In the thank you note you can tell them, "Thank you so much for your generous gift.  We're looking forward to using it on our honeymoon."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:6ebc4170-601a-4266-9bf5-1f657ec684cb">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since quoting me seems to be the thing to do.. I'll continue that trend =) One more thing Mom2em:  <strong>Your true friends and close family members won't be talking trash about your registry behind your back.</strong>  Do what you feel comfortable with.  GL! And I won't be posting on this particular thread anymore since this isn't my battle to fight and to be honest - I just don't care enough to continue this obnoxious conversation...  Have fun on your high horses!
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    How do you know that? What if I am related to her? or friends with her? I think a cash registry is rude! Please feel free to speak for your self, but do not assume you speak for everyone.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:a3551e0f-ad37-4880-b60b-4f0bd55e3c4d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]IN ADDITION, if the shoe was on the other foot, <strong>I would GLADLY put money towards a friends or family members honeymoon if that's what the truly wanted.</strong> Maybe some of you are much more well off than we are... good for you, pay for your own honeymoon. Not all of us have money to throw around. AND I was able to go to another site to answer my own question... some all inclusive honeymoon packages actually have wedding registries! <strong>So it's can't be all that un-PC if things like this actually exist...</strong> not saying we're going to do it, but it's still an option for me. I just feel sorry for the women on here who are so adament about their point of view being 'right'... just because someone see's things a different way, doesn't mean it's wrong.
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    First of all, that's great that you would put money towards your friend's HM.  That doesn't mean that everyone is going to agree with you.  For instance, all of the people responding to you on this board.

    Second, just because a resort that <em>wants to make money off of you</em> has a registry in place, does not mean it's not rude.  The wedding business doesn't care if a product or service they offer is poor etiquette, because they will still find brides to pay them for these services.  These businesses don't care about etiquette, they only care about making money.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:6ebc4170-601a-4266-9bf5-1f657ec684cb">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since quoting me seems to be the thing to do.. I'll continue that trend =) One more thing Mom2em:  <strong>Your true friends and close family members won't be talking trash about your registry behind your back.</strong>  Do what you feel comfortable with.  GL! And I won't be posting on this particular thread anymore since this isn't my battle to fight and to be honest - I just don't care enough to continue this obnoxious conversation...  Have fun on your high horses!
    Posted by Erica1011[/QUOTE]

    Wanna bet??

    My brother and SIL did a HM registry and if you look at any of the dozens of other questions about HMRs on this board, you'll see I trash the idea and their registry in particular a lot.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:a3551e0f-ad37-4880-b60b-4f0bd55e3c4d">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]IN ADDITION, if the shoe was on the other foot, I would GLADLY put money towards a friends or family members honeymoon if that's what the truly wanted. Maybe some of you are much more well off than we are... good for you, pay for your own honeymoon. Not all of us have money to throw around. AND I was able to go to another site to answer my own question... some all inclusive honeymoon packages actually have wedding registries! <strong><em>So it's can't be all that un-PC if things like this actually exist...</em></strong> not saying we're going to do it, but it's still an option for me. I just feel sorry for the women on here who are so adament about their point of view being 'right'... just because someone see's things a different way, doesn't mean it's wrong.
    Posted by mom2em4ever[/QUOTE]

    And I suppose that makes it OK to put those little registry cards in your wedding invites since stores that you register at hand them out??? The answer is NO.
    5.21.11
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lieu-of-wedding-gifts-honeymoon-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:49cc9c8b-f513-4d14-adda-d1b04b3e9f4fPost:4f9812ad-f8c5-4b5c-a30b-db174912bf40">Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: In lieu of wedding gifts... honeymoon $? Is this rude? : You NEED water and food. You NEED clothes on your back. You don't NEED a vacation; you WANT one. And it is rude to ask your guests to pay for one, regardless of where it is or how long it is. The end.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    I like you. You're my new friend.

    To the OP: if you <strong>want </strong>a HM (And yes, you <strong>want</strong> one, you don't <strong>need</strong> one. You will not actually die if you never take a vacation again), be an adult and pay for it yourself. Or just don't register for <strong>anything</strong>, and let your guests take the hint to give you cash- and use the cash however you want.

    I really don't get why people think that their guests won't think to give cash if there's no registry. I assure you, most of your friends and relatives are not stupid-they will figure it out if there's no registry.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • Original Poster, please, please, please take this forum with a grain of salt.  They are of the opinion that Honeymoon funds are absolutely unacceptable according to "Emily Post". If you are a progressive person I highly recommend trying out a honeymoon fund!   Please do make sure that it isn't a site that charges your guests to buy something.  Through my research, Honeyfund is the only one that doesn't, but I'm not sure about Sandals registries.
    I have been to several, repeat, SEVERAL weddings where people had a small traditional registry as well as a honeymoon registry because they've been living together for some time and don't need a lot of stuff.  I plan on registering for both since we're food fanatics and making our house a home as always been a priority so we don't need much.  As for purchasing things from a honeyfund I loved the idea of contributing to something that the couple would remember forever and reminisce about just like we have for all of our trips as opposed to another chip and dip.

    At the end of the day all registries are the same- asking for gifts.  Girls on this board love to bully people into not having a honeymoon fund just because etiquette books say so.   Honeymoon registries wouldn't exist if they weren't successful.  AKA. PEOPLE ARE USING THEM AND WANT THEM!!!


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