Registry and Gift Forum

Lingerie shower alternative?

Hi. I need some opinions. My sister and best friend are going to co-plan my "lingerie shower" however, I have never ever ever wanted a lingerie shower. I don't want my guests, who I appreciate spending their hard earned money on me, to go out and buy me lacy lingerie sets or thongs, etc. I have no issue with these things but I have enough of them already and I KNOW I am just gonna toss them in a drawer. I don't want them to buy me anything that goes to waste. So my sister and MOH are aware of this and they have suggested having a shower where guests are encouraged to buy girly items inclusive to lingerie. Like there's numerous stores in the malls like Bath & Body Works, Lush, etc. We were thinking that even if some people did stick to lingerie that others would actually enjoy the option to shop for other items. Lingerie showers are at-will showers because you normally don't have a registry so guests could buy you something unflattering to your body type, or a color you hate, but at the same time you want to be grateful.

The economy is tight right? I don't wanna stash away any gifts or drop them off at the GoodWill.

Any ideas as to what would be a good name for a shower like this? Is this tacky to change up the traditional lingerie shower for something else?

Re: Lingerie shower alternative?

  • Personally, I would not do a lingerie shower or a "girly" shower.  To me, that just sounds kind of like a birthday party.  For showers, I like to give things that both members of the couple will benefit from for a long time.  Do you have a traditional registry?  If so, I would just stick to a regular shower.  Any lingerie gifts are always awkward, IMO, when given in public.

    I've also heard of "stock the bar" showers where people come to celebrate, mostly, and everyone just brings a different kind of booze to stock the couple's new bar, if that's your kind of thing.
    two years!
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  • I'm not from a part of the world where lingerie showers are traditional, so I can't help. The only woman I know who ever went to an "intimates shower" received a small card telling her the bride's sizes at various local stores, though it makes me shudder to think of sharing that information with my friends! (Hence, the "no intimates shower" nature of my cultural background, presumably.)
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would ask if they'd be willing to just host a traditional shower.  If not, I think I'd probably just decline. 

    I get what you mean about lingerie showers.  I like lingerie, but it's something I'd really prefer to pick out on my own.  I would not be comfortable with people buying that sort of stuff for me, and I agree, most of the "personal" items are just going to end up getting trashed.  At least if people are going to spend money on gifts, it would make more sense to have a traditional shower where most people would buy you the things on your registry that you really need to get set up in married life.
  • I appreciate everyones replies! It's been real helpful.
    1. A stock the bar shower is a GREAT idea!
    2. A honeymoon themed shower is also a great idea and my honeymoon is going to be in Hawaii as well.

    I would decline the shower period and just stick to the one my FI's mother is throwing for us, which is more of a housewarming party so it's really where our registry comes in place BUT numerous of my mom's friends and my friends have either called or emailed about a "girly" shower. So they feel somewhat impelled to throw one except they think that ppl want to go to one simply b/c they wanna have a reason to buy gifts and get away from their kids and husbands for a day. Having a party where it's just the girls is extremely traditional in my community of friends, I've grown up in a tight-knit atmosphere since I was a baby, we all know eachother, and the older women are traditional. I wanna break tradition and step out of the era where ppl buy you your underwear. I am bi-racial, black and Italian, my Italian family members and friends are "girl" shower all the way and my mothers side of the family, they are the same. So I don't think I'll get away with doing no shower. But, I definitely going to take some of the suggestions given and give my sisters the go-ahead to plan something non-traditional. I think it'll be fun to see what ppl come up with.

    Thanks a lot!
  • Sorry, I mean to say *compelled in my last post, not impelled.
  • I wanna break tradition and step out of the era where ppl buy you your underwear.

    I am dying laughing at this.

    In your case, I would just host a separate housewarming-type party just for the girls.  Have them over for wine and cheese and girly drinks.  Or, I'd suggest a stock the bar type shower for the people who are insisting on doing something for you.
    two years!
    after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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  • LOL, it's necessary. I hope some other women who are familiar with this tradition and HATE it follow suit! It's gotta go :-)
  • I totally understand where you're coming from! I LOVE to "stock the bar!" how cute! Could you do a "date night" themed shower where people could each give you a gift you and your fiance could use after you're married. They could give you a gift cert to different places to eat, a movie basket, etc.
  • MLC613, the Date Night idea is such a good idea!  I may be stealing that if I ever throw anyone a shower!  I think it is so unique and allows for a variety of gifts! 
  • I'm a bit late to jump on this thread, but I am so grateful for these comments! My mom and FMIL won't shut up about a lingerie shower. To make matters worse, most of the guests in our area are my dad's coworkers. I can't believe they think this is appropriate. I'm with you on not wanting other people to pick out my lingerie. I'd like to think that I'm the woman who knows what FI would like best in that department...
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