Registering and Gifts

Proper timeline for thank you cards

I got married on August 25th, what is the proper timeline for sending thank you cards? We just got back from a honeymoon and I'm leaving to go on a business trip this Saturday for another week.

Re: Proper timeline for thank you cards

  • There are differing opinions on this.  Some etiquette rules state that you have a year for thank you notes.  IMO it is best to get them completed as soon as possible, and hopefully withing 3 months of your wedding.

    Guests understand that you probably went on your Honeymoon and then back to the "real world" so a few weeks is fine.

    If you're going on a business trip have you thought of writing some of them out on the plane? It's one way to kill time.
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  • I'm not really stressed out, I was just curious about them. Maybe i'll try to do them today or Friday before the business trip.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_proper-timeline-for-thank-you-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:4cc75419-5765-4a36-8ad2-85708664bde9Post:de4ddfb9-bd12-4aef-b310-d30b52ca9034">Re: Proper timeline for thank you cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]There are differing opinions on this.  Some etiquette rules state that you have a year for thank you notes.  IMO it is best to get them completed as soon as possible, and hopefully withing 3 months of your wedding. Guests understand that you probably went on your Honeymoon and then back to the "real world" so a few weeks is fine. If you're going on a business trip have you thought of writing some of them out on the plane? It's one way to kill time.
    Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

    I don't think any etiquette rule says you have a year for TY notes.  It's a year to send presents.  Definitely do not take a year for your TY notes.  

    I would just try to get them out as soon as possible, and shoot for within a month of when you received the gift.  Have your H write some, and don't feel like you need to get them all done at once--you can do 5 a night, or 10 during your lunch break, that kind of thing (just make sure you keep track of which you've done).

    Blue_Bird
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_proper-timeline-for-thank-you-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:4cc75419-5765-4a36-8ad2-85708664bde9Post:de4ddfb9-bd12-4aef-b310-d30b52ca9034">Re: Proper timeline for thank you cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]There are differing opinions on this.  Some etiquette rules state that you have a year for thank you notes.  IMO it is best to get them completed as soon as possible, and hopefully withing 3 months of your wedding. Guests understand that you probably went on your Honeymoon and then back to the "real world" so a few weeks is fine. If you're going on a business trip have you thought of writing some of them out on the plane? It's one way to kill time.
    Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

    <div>Actually, I don't think any etiquette rules state that you have a year to send out thank-you notes.  Not sure where you got that one.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, you should really try to get them out within a month, but I think anything over 2 months is just too long.</div>
    Blue_Bird
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_proper-timeline-for-thank-you-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:4cc75419-5765-4a36-8ad2-85708664bde9Post:9ac7d3c2-d815-441e-83e1-012d34bfaf02">Re: Proper timeline for thank you cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am still a firm believer that all thank you cards should be sent out no later than two weeks after the gift is received.  In the case of a wedding where the gifts are brought TO the wedding itself, 2 weeks after you return from your honeymoon. Honestly, I never understand why brides get so stressed about thank you cards.  We had just under 100 to send out after our wedding, and by splitting them up between DH and I, we were able to sit down and do them all in about 4 hours.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Same here.  We sent each one out as soon as we opened the presents.  We didn't open the next one until the TY note was finished for the one before it.  DH and I split it by he wrote them for his side, I wrote them for mine.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
    Blue_Bird
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    There is not, nor has there ever been, any rule giving you a year to send out thank you notes.  The old rule was that you had a year to send a gift to the couple, but the rule was misconstrued by lazy couples.  

    The rule for thank you notes has always been that they should go out as soon as reasonably possible.  Different people define this differently, but you're usually in the clear if you get them out within about the first month or two after the wedding.  

    If you are getting ready to go on a business trip, take a stack and work on them on the plane, or while you sit in the hotel room in the evenings.  It doesn't matter if they all go at once or if you have to send them in several batches  It doesn't matter if you do some and have your H do some.  What matters is that you put in the effort to sincerely thank everyone.  
    Blue_Bird
  • Next week will be 2 months for us, and we are sending out our last ones tonight after we buy more stamps (ARGH already written, just ran out). Those are just the final presents from the wedding/after the wedding, all the shower thank you cards went out right after the showers.
    I honestly feel in my heart that I could have wrapped them up a few weeks ago, and I feel bad just being two months after the wedding. And yeah, it's not even difficult at all, we just turn on an old movie in the background and just go.
  • I was in a wedding a little over 3 months ago, the bride and groom have yet to send thank you notes .... I think it so rude! FI & I put a lot of thought into the gift and nothing. They didn't do a honeymoon yet (they are going later this year). I know you don't do this (and I won't) but the mean side of me wants to ask if they got lost in the mail.

    My thought regarding timeline for it is that they should be post marked by 1 month after the wedding at the latest.

    melbelleup
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_proper-timeline-for-thank-you-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:4cc75419-5765-4a36-8ad2-85708664bde9Post:9ac7d3c2-d815-441e-83e1-012d34bfaf02">Re: Proper timeline for thank you cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am still a firm believer that all thank you cards should be sent out no later than two weeks after the gift is received.  In the case of a wedding where the gifts are brought TO the wedding itself, 2 weeks after you return from your honeymoon. Honestly, I never understand why brides get so stressed about thank you cards.  We had just under 100 to send out after our wedding, and by splitting them up between DH and I, we were able to sit down and do them all in about 4 hours.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>We had far fewer to send out and had been writing thank yous as gifts arrived, so DH and I were done with and had mailed all of our thank yous within about two days after the wedding so we wouldn't have to take them (metaphorically) on the honeymoon with us.</div>
  • I believe they should go at as soon as possible.  PP is correct - turn on an old movie or something, and you'll get through a huge stack if you do that each evening until you're done.  Writing thank you notes takes me about 5 minutes each... so getting through 25 or so during a movie is perfectly normal.  FI and I are delaying our HM for about a month, and we fully plan to be done with thank yous before we leave.

    One of the best suggestions I have heard (and plan to implement with my kids once they start appearing) is that to make yourself sit down and do them promptly, develop a rule that says you can't use that item until the thank you is written.  Since you'll get a lot for weddings that you won't use immediately, maybe modify this rule to say you can't put it away until they are done.  For most people I know, that would prompt them to start writing so that they can get their house/apartment back from the huge stack of boxes.
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  • Emily Post says three months from the wedding. But the faster you get them done, the better you will feel. I have friend who never finished all of hers and just gave up at the one-year mark. That is the worst thing you can do! Just power through and get them done!
    ~Emily~
    melbelleup
  • Well if it helps, my cousin got married in July and we still haven't gotten Thank Yous. However, with that said, they have been really busy since they just bought a house and recenlty moved into it. I'm gonna guess they plan on waiting till Christmas to include them in cards. 

    I would just send them out as soon as you can. Thank you cards are nice and all, but my friends and I were talking about just how much of a waste they really are since you read it and just toss it out. Very few people keep Thank you cards. We're still doing them, but I'm not concerned with sending them out late if our life gets hectic for that reason. I would say a year is definitely too long unless something traumatic happened. 
  • We are getting married 11/30/13 and are receiving gifts already. Should I write out thank card and wait until after the wedding to mail them? Or as soon as gift arrives?
  • @debroy0304 this thread is over a year old. Just post a new topic next time.

    You send a thank you when you receive the gift.
    Blue_Birdcsavilledoeydo
  • I usually give about six months. But if it is longer than six months then I think its totally rude, especially with the ability to buy the gifts online and have them sent to the couples house before the wedding even happens and I still dont get a card...
  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    Edit: didn't realize this was a zombie.
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