Registry and Gift Forum

Registering for wedding gifts before setting the date?

Is it okay for my daughter to announce their registryfor wedding gifts on her engagement invitation before the wedding date has been set? 
   Thanks for the feedback, but I'm more concerned that it's simply an engagement party, without a wedding date set, yet they're letting folks know that they're registered (not on the invite, though :-). I've just never heard of such a thing!
   Btw, she's not hosting her own party, nor putting the registry on the invites. The problem I guess I'm having is that folks will of course be asking when the wedding is (and whether this is an engagement party or receptiion), and since they haven't set a date yet, even they don't know, so they're not calling it either. I do know, though, that they're not inviting ANY of us to the wedding, which will be held either in Paris or at a courthouse here. Just seems odd to be registering for a "party"...

Re: Registering for wedding gifts before setting the date?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    You should never include registry information in an invitation. And engagement parties are not gift-giving events. Why would she register so soon anyway?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • She can register whenever she wants, but PP is right - you don't announce a registry. At most she might put it on her wedding website and tell people when asked where she is registered.  E-parties are generally not gift giving events anyway.

    Keep in mind that unless she really does her research, many items she might register for now could be discontinued when she actually gets married.  It depends entirely on the item and how long she is engaged.  We registered very early at 13 months out (primarily because I was graduating from law school and moving to a new place - I got some graduation/house warming gifts from our registry), but I had researched a lot before doing it.  We haven't had anything major get discontinued, and anything that has been discontinued has been updated with a newer version of the same item.  That said, I was really careful about it.  Generally it's advisable to register no more than 6 months out.
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  • People in our area give gifts at engagement parties so I do understand where you're coming from.  I wouldn't, however, "announce" the registry.  The most you may want to do is utilize the wedding website which gives lots of info and some of that info happens to be about the registry.
  • It's fine to make a registry before the date is set.  Like PPs said, though, registry info should spread by word of mouth and not be included on the invitations.

    Also, remember that anyone invited to the engagement party needs to be invited to the wedding.  If the wedding date, venue, and guestlist are not set yet, only the people that would be invited to the wedding no matter what should be invited to the engagement party.
  • Registries aside, if they're not inviting anyone to the wedding then they should not be having an engagement party, period. Anyone invited to a pre-wedding party must be invited to the wedding itself.



  • PP is correct - only people who are invited to the wedding itself may be invited to any pre-parties.  This includes showers, bachelorette parties, and engagement parties.  If she's getting married in paris and isn't inviting anybody, then she shouldn't have a party at all.  That's one of the decisions people make when they have a small ceremony abroad.  It's perfectly acceptable, but it means they forego these kinds of pre-wedding events.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-for-wedding-gifts-before-setting-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5225ca50-f719-4e1d-88f8-d5ddeb634d0aPost:7e933e19-2085-4d00-85d6-a93137ef1eb6">Registering for wedding gifts before setting the date?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it okay for my daughter to announce their registryfor wedding gifts on her engagement invitation before the wedding date has been set?     Thanks for the feedback, but I'm more concerned that it's simply an engagement party, without a wedding date set, yet they're letting folks know that they're registered (not on the invite, though :-). I've just never heard of such a thing!    Btw, she's not hosting her own party, nor putting the registry on the invites. The problem I guess I'm having is that folks will of course be asking when the wedding is (and whether this is an engagement party or receptiion), and since they haven't set a date yet, even they don't know, so they're not calling it either. I do know, though, that they're not inviting ANY of us to the wedding, which will be held either in Paris or at a courthouse here. Just seems odd to be registering for a "party"...
    Posted by satmba[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You keep adding things to your post without saying what's new.  Please either specify that you've edited or just respond in the thread with new information.  </div><div>
    </div><div>They should not be having any kind of pre wedding parties if no one is invited to the wedding. 

    </div>
  • If she isn't inviting anyone to the wedding, she should skip the engagement party and registry all together.

    What you are saying is making this sound more and more like the purpose of this engagement party is to collect gifts even though she won't be inviting wedding guests.  
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