"No gifts, please"

lzo

Hello, 

My fiance and I are having a destination wedding.  Since we are asking people to fly, get hotel rooms, take time off work, etc., we don't feel comfortable asking for gifts as well.  Our website will say "No gifts, please - your presence at our wedding is a tremendous gift."  

We certainly do NOT mean to imply that people who don't come to the wedding should send us a gift!  Should we re-phrase this, or is it clear that we are requesting no gifts, from anyone?  Should we stick with just "No gifts, please."?  Thanks for your thoughts!

stantokm

Don't put it on your website.  Some people will want to give you gifts anyway and it's rude to tell them not to (and even though your heart is in the right place, putting that message on your website is rude).  Simply don't register for anything (a registry says, "Here's what we'd like if you want to get us something) and if people ASK about a registry or what you'd like, you can tell them that you're just thrilled that they're coming to the wedding.  If they aren't coming to the wedding, thank them and say that you're not registering because you have everything you need.

MNVegas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-gifts-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:59f27a9b-b1c4-4d0b-9382-71687d5a98ebPost:2408f7cc-b6d3-4251-b062-30ea618830f3">"No gifts, please"</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello,  My fiance and I are having a destination wedding.  Since we are asking people to fly, get hotel rooms, take time off work, etc., <strong>we don't feel comfortable asking for gifts</strong> as well.  Our website will say "No gifts, please - your presence at our wedding is a tremendous gift."   We certainly do NOT mean to imply that people who don't come to the wedding should send us a gift!  Should we re-phrase this, or is it clear that we are requesting no gifts, from anyone?  Should we stick with just "No gifts, please."?  Thanks for your thoughts!
Posted by lzo[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You should not be asking for gifts nor should there be any expectation of gifts. By saying "no gifts" you are showing you expected gifts. Do not do a registry if you don't want any gifts. Also do not put anything about no gifts on your website. It is rude to tell people what to do with their money.

</div>

Summer2011Bride

Don't say anything about gifts, not even "no gifts please." Don't mention them at all. Don't register and if people ask about your registries, etc., then you can tell them via word of mouth, "We really don't want or need anything. Truly we'd just love your company at our wedding." Just be aware that many may feel uncomfortable attending a wedding without a present, so you'll probably still get some.

lzo

Update: Thanks for your thoughts.  I suppose since a lot of people link their registry to their wedding website, I thought it might be an appropriate place to efficiently get the message out.  Also, I've heard (on other The Knot forums) that not registering is a subtle hint that the couple prefers cash.  Since that's not the case here, I just wanted to try to clarify our intentions.  While I know it's rude to "expect" gifts - the reality is that most people will be expecting to see registry info on the website, so I wanted to provide some explanation.  Thanks for the input, I'll keep thinking about it!

artbyallie

People like to give gifts for weddings. With destination weddings, many will reduce the amount spent or even forgo it entirely due to the expense of attending. Don't mention gifts.

Jen4948

It's really not appropriate to mention gifts in any way, shape, or form-whether it's a registry in an invitation or a "no gifts" message.

You are not required to keep gifts.  Provided that you are discreet, you may dispose of any unwanted gifts in any manner you choose.  But it is rude to tell people what to do with their resources-or what not to do with it.