Gift opening goof

Bonzo2011

When we got back from our honeymoon last Friday, H and I went to my parents house to open gifts (they took everything home from the wedding, and all registry items have been shipped there). H opened one gift, a lovely frame with our invitation in it, and read the card. I sent out that thank you note on Monday.

Well, this afternoon, I was taking some time to organize gifts and put all cards into the card box for safe keeping, and I came across this one card. And a $50 gift card fell out. The card was a complicated origami card, and it looks like the gift card was taped between two layers. Not actually sure how we were supposed to find it, so I'm glad it fell out!

I'm wondering though, since the thank you note obviously didnt make mention of the monetary gift, do I need to do anything? I feel like saying anything about just now finding the gift card would be awkward, but I'm not sure what the correct course of action is.

Summer2011Bride

Are you close to the gift giver? If it was a close friend of mine, I wouldn't have an issue with calling them up and saying, "Hey Sally, I just popped your TY note in the mail and while putting things away, your gift card fell out! I'm so sorry, I just noticed it. I wanted to say thank you for the gift card as well. That was so thoughtful of you."

I don't know the etiquette on this, but that's what I personally would do especially if it's someone I knew well. That way they know you received/saw the GC.

Bonzo2011

It's from an old ballet teacher of mine. So, not someone I've ever called.

egm900

I would write another thank you note, and say what you told us.

Ali092011

I'm not sure etiquette-wise what the right thing to do is, but in that situation I think I would send out another quick thank you note and just mention what happened. Otherwise, since it's a gift card and there's no way to trace it, she may worry that it was lost.

I'm not sure if that's what others would do. I'd just go with the majority on this one--I don't know if there's a real etiquette rule.

Bonzo2011

Ok, I will send another thank you note so she knows what happened. Thanks for the advice!

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:e754a163-bae0-4b49-896e-6c9c708ed32b">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure etiquette-wise what the right thing to do is, but in that situation I think I would send out another quick thank you note and just mention what happened. Otherwise, since it's a gift card and there's no way to trace it, she may worry that it was lost. I'm not sure if that's what others would do. I'd just go with the majority on this one--I don't know if there's a real etiquette rule.
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

This.  An aunt got all bent out of shape when my brother and SIL's TY did not mention the $100 check she put inside the food processor she bought them.  The reason:  They got two and exchanged one (that happened to be hers - then she got bent out of shape that hers was the one that was exchanged and not ht eother guests).

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:0a91b4c2-b5d9-4874-afc7-136b5d3582e2">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : This.  An aunt got all bent out of shape when my brother and SIL's TY did not mention the $100 check she put inside the food processor she bought them.  The reason:  They got two and exchanged one (that happened to be hers - then she got bent out of shape that hers was the one that was exchanged and not ht eother guests).
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ouch... I have relatives that would do that sort of thing... thanks for this story - I'll be sure to check the insides of appliance, cookware, etc. before making any returns!</div>

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:0a91b4c2-b5d9-4874-afc7-136b5d3582e2">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : This.  An aunt got all bent out of shape when my brother and SIL's TY did not mention the $100 check she put inside the food processor she bought them.  The reason:  They got two and exchanged one (that happened to be hers - then she got bent out of shape that hers was the one that was exchanged and not ht eother guests).
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
Unless they were different colors & the aunt went over to their home, how would she know that? She certainly didn't need to be told that. 

egm900

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:46ad5f6a-6005-4029-ae30-575c54a19fa7">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : Unless they were different colors & the aunt went over to their home, how would she know that? She certainly didn't need to be told that. 
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>Because they returned her check to the store IN the food processor she gave them.  How else would they explain what happened to the check since she put it in the bowl of the food processor?  The way my food processor was packaged, if something was put in the bowl, there was absolutely no way it could get lost and would be very noticeable.  </div><div>
</div><div>I will also be checking all of the boxes/gifts before returning anything now.</div>

mbrischoux

I don't know if I would write on and on about the gift mix-up, but I would send a nice little note saying how creative the origami card was and how much you enjoyed finding the gift card inside.  Otherwise, you might come across as saying "So, H and I thought you were cheap and only sent us this complicated card, but then we found the gift card and thought you were cool."
Okay, maybe I'M the only one who would read it that way...but still...:-P

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:90dba414-56c2-49a0-b520-b751ffc8cf84">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if I would write on and on about the gift mix-up, but I would send a nice little note saying how creative the origami card was and how much you enjoyed finding the gift card inside.  Otherwise, you might come across as saying "So, H and I thought you were cheap and only sent us this complicated card, but then we found the gift card and thought you were cool." Okay, maybe I'M the only one who would read it that way...but still...:-P
Posted by mbrischoux[/QUOTE]

I think she should at least mention the mix-up; as the giver, I would wonder why I was getting two separate TY cards. I might also think that the person didn't realize she sent me two and thought the frame was from a different person than the card/money (meaning that the bride forgot she already sent this person a TY note already for a different gift).

I think complimenting the card is fine, but I would definitely mention the money too. I don't think the giver will think they think she's cheap, as they did already send a card for a frame as well. Not to mention, I would never write a TY note for a card. I get cards all the time and give them all the time but have never once written or expected a TY note for it. I would only write a TY note for a card if there was also a gift in or with it. So while mentioning that they liked the creative card is nice, definitely also thank her for the money.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:46ad5f6a-6005-4029-ae30-575c54a19fa7">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : Unless they were different colors & the aunt went over to their home, how would she know that? She certainly didn't need to be told that. 
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Because she wanted to know why they didn't acknowledge the check she gave them and that was never cashed.  I don't know how you get around telling her what happened.

Bonzo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:44ade006-3efc-4a4e-9ec2-791c5ed3dd71">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : I think she should at least mention the mix-up; as the giver, I would wonder why I was getting two separate TY cards. I might also think that the person didn't realize she sent me two and thought the frame was from a different person than the card/money (meaning that the bride forgot she already sent this person a TY note already for a different gift). I think complimenting the card is fine, but I would definitely mention the money too. I don't think the giver will think they think she's cheap, as they did already send a card for a frame as well. Not to mention, I would never write a TY note for a card. I get cards all the time and give them all the time but have never once written or expected a TY note for it. I would only write a TY note for a card if there was also a gift in or with it. So while mentioning that they liked the creative card is nice, definitely also thank her for the money.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]



This is exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the follow up TY note. I basically said:

Dear ___,
When we first opened your lovely gift, we somehow missed seeing the gift card. S and I wanted to say thank you again for the beautiful frame and the gift card.


And then a little more about how wonderful it was to see her at the wedding, etc.

Thanks again everyone for the advice on how to handle this. So glad we found the gift card, unlike the couple in the PP that accidentally returned a check to a store!

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:37c5381f-abbc-47d9-b1f0-fa47b22bb37c">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]Who the hell puts a check inside a blender?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

Oh Edie....my extended family is why I am able to put up with the crazies on TK.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gift-opening-goof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5ba7d187-2feb-4b29-aa36-5941a475fcebPost:44ade006-3efc-4a4e-9ec2-791c5ed3dd71">Re: Gift opening goof</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift opening goof : I think she should at least mention the mix-up; as the giver, I would wonder why I was getting two separate TY cards. I might also think that the person didn't realize she sent me two and thought the frame was from a different person than the card/money (meaning that the bride forgot she already sent this person a TY note already for a different gift). I think complimenting the card is fine, but I would definitely mention the money too. I don't think the giver will think they think she's cheap, as they did already send a card for a frame as well. Not to mention, I would never write a TY note for a card. I get cards all the time and give them all the time but have never once written or expected a TY note for it. I would only write a TY note for a card if there was also a gift in or with it. <strong>So while mentioning that they liked the creative card is nice, definitely also thank her for the money.
</strong>Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

That's what I meant in my orginal post...Thank them for the creative card and mention how much fun you had discovering the money inside.  Sorry if that didn't come across in my orignial post:)