Saying "Thank You" for Gifts Before Sending Formal Thank You Notes

PJSPJS

I'm sure this question has been addressed here on TK, but I couldn't find it on this board. We are starting to receive gifts in the mail. I know that thank you cards are not sent until after the wedding, but is it appropriate or inappropriate to say thank you to a friend or coworker whom you see every day (even if you haven't opened the gift yet)? It seems odd not to mention to someone that you received a gift from him/her, but perhaps it's proper NOT to say anything until the formal "thank you."  

hoffse

You send thank yous when you get the gift - you can save the thanks yous for the huge influx that might come a week or two before the wedding until after the wedding is over, but anything sent now (your ticker says 1 month, 2 weeks) should have thank you notes sent out promptly.

PJSPJS

Oh! I read somewhere that you send them after the wedding. Thanks: this simplifies life!

Avion22

Definitely open the gift and send a thank-you note now, so the giver knows that it arrived.  It's okay to use generic thank-you cards (if you planned on getting monogrammed cards or a photo-card with a wedding photo, then you should only use these AFTER the wedding).   It will definitely save you time after the wedding!!

Also, you might start a simple file to keep track of which cards have been sent.  I used one that simple had Name,  Gift, Thank You Card Sent?  It helped a lot in the last week or so before the wedding where we were getting a lot of gifts but didn't have time to write thank-yous right away.  This way we could remember who gave what (it all gets jumbled together), and whether or not we had sent a card yet.   Then when I sat down to write thank-yous I had a list of which ones needed to be done.

Ali092011

Good idea, Avion!

I was horrified when I stopped by my mom's house the other day and saw a wedding gift in my old bedroom, and when I asked her when it arrived, she said, "Oh, a few weeks ago!" I said, "Don't you think you might have told me?" She was really surprised and said, "Why? You don't open it until after the wedding, right?" I explained to her I needed to send a prompt thank you note so they knew I received the gift, and that I needed to know what the gift was in order to send the note. Then later I had to explain to FI why we couldn't use the gift until after the wedding lol.

I thought my mom was the be-all and end-all of etiquette, but both she and I have learned a lot of things from TK!