Honeymoon Registries

fay1009

Hi there!

Has anyone used a honeymoon registry such as The Traveler's Joy? My fiancee and I have been living together for quite some time and really do not need any of the traditional wedding items.  We were interested using one of these sites (particularly Traveler's Joy), but wanted to know if others had much success with them.  Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

Summer2011Bride

Just to let you know, HM registries don't go over well here. I would search this board and the HM board because there are MANY posts on this topic.

In bullets:
-They take a cut of your guests' money for themselves
-They deceive your guests into thinking they are buying an excursion when they aren't; the website cuts you a check minus their percentage
-It's a lot easier to cut the middleman. People know cash is appreciated and they can just write you a check in a card and you get the FULL amount

hoffse

PPs covered this well.  There is one other very practical reason why these are a terrible idea: couples end up relying on these for their honeymoons when everything has to be booked well in advance.  Picture this: you book your honeymoon in February or March, knowing that by May you will be reimbursed.  Wedding planning really cranks up and you lose track of it or you decide to charge it for a couple months because really, that money is coming (you just know it is).  Suddenly the wedding is over and you are in Bora Bora and realize that all that money you were sure would be deposited into your account actually isn't coming.  So now it's on your credit card with a 20% APR (and has been accruing interest for a few months already), and you have officially started your marriage in debt.  Oops.

Don't do this.  Plan the vacation you can afford, and if guests give you cash then and only then may you use it for those little extras you otherwise don't need (like a fancy dinner or a couples' massage).  If you can't afford to pay for the honeymoon before your wedding, then save it for a one-year trip.  That will give you time to gauge what you actually receive by way of wedding gifts and it gives you time to save in case you don't get as much as you think you will.

MayberryAfterMidnight

Everything's already been covered really well by PP! But just to give you an idea, here's what I found when I looked into honeymoon registries last year:

Traveler's Joy charges a 7.5% fee.
The Big Day charges a 7% fee plus a 3% credit card fee (for guests paying with credit card).
The Honeymoon's fee ranges from 5.5% to 7.5% depending on the amount of the gift, and a 8.85% credit card fee.
Honeymoon Wishes charges a 7% fee plus a 3% credit card fee.
Honeyluna also charges a 7% fee plus a 3% credit card fee.

Waaay more information that you probably wanted! But the point is that they all take a pretty sizeable chunk out of the gift your guests give you. My FI and I have also been living together for several years and we don't have anything we need or want to register for. I don't think honeymoon registries are inherently bad, as long as you rely on word of mouth to let people know about it (much as you would if you were asking for cash) and not putting it on your invitation or even, I think, a wedding website. In the end, FI and I are not registering and we're getting our parents to tell people we're saving for honeymoon - only if people specifically ask them about a gift.

BreeandShane

Hi Fay,

If you decide this is the route you want to take:
Based on the research I have done. Honeyfund seems like the best option for you and your guests. The smallest fees, no set activities, direct deposit, etc.
Honeyluna/Honeymoon Wishes and Travelers Joy also seem like reputable options, just not as flexible with payment options and have higher fees.
We haven't used this yet so I can't confirm experience, but we will probably be using Honeyfund.
For the record - if you decide you want to do a honeymoon registry. It isn't rude or tacky and don't let the bullies on this website make you think so!