What about destination weddings?

esteffin

Hi all, newly engaged, newly overwhelmed, newly successful at convincing the soon to be hubby that destination wedding + reception at home will make me much happier-


We want to do a dinner reception when we get home from wherever (Fiji? Belize?) With drinks, hopefully a dance floor, and some kind of cake.

We're grown ups (32/29) so no one has to get us any presents anyway, but since we are thinking of only doing the reception without ceremony, will we need to register?

It looks like if we don't register at all, people think we want cash and that's rude? If we register for a DW reception, is THAT rude?

Aaargh. Any thoughts are appreciated.

calliopeia2013

Best bet- small registry that you don't publicize at all.  Obviously nothing on the invites, but also nothing on your website, etc.  Meaning that people will only ever hear about it if they want to give you gifts and actively seek out the information.  Some people will choose not to bring gifts since they weren't invited to the ceremony; other people will still want to bring a gift and will appreciate the regitry being there.

esteffin

Cool! That makes sense-Thanks so much

meganb1977

Ditto calliopeia.

hoffse

Ditto PP's.  I think I've read some knotties saying it's rude to register for an AHR after the wedding, but plenty of people (myself included) would feel weird not showing up with something small to an AHR.  Don't put registry info on your website or anything like that.  Spread it by word of mouth but only if people ask.

gananoque

Agreed. You should register somewhere.

My friends eloped and months later had a cocktail reception in our home town to which we were invited. Just because I hadn't been present at their completely private ceremony in Europe, didn't mean I didn't want to get them something nice to celebrate.

I mean, just because some of us choose to spend thousands of dollars on a more traditional wedding, does that mean that we deserve tons of gifts while others don't? These friends had purchased US a generous wedding gift and they've been caring and generous friends in general for years. I was more than happy to voluntarily purchased a gift for them, regardless of what the expectations might have been.

I'm pretty sure they didn't have a registry. Which made them come off as very modest, certainly. But it did make it tough for me to get them something I knew they'd want! I would have been grateful for a little direction in that area!

MandaK12

You aren't going to get a lot of positive feedback about registering for things for your DW here on TK, but there are plenty of brides who do these types of honeymoon registries and who have great reactions from your guests. My FH and I are doing a Honeymoon Pixie registry for our honeymoon as well as a small registry at Kohl's for a few odds and ends that we want to upgrade. Personally, we think it's a perfectly polite way to allow guests to gift us with special experiences rather than physical gifts.

Also, some of your guests will probably expect you to have a registry for your at home reception. I would if I were going to a wedding like that!

soontobemrsep

Welcome and congratulations!
I too am having a DW and struggled with the registering, invites, etc at first.
But, what we've decided to do is register for a few things and not publicize it.
People are pretty savvy these days and can find your registry easily. I'd say just register at a store that is common among all states, like Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc.
Good luck and happy planning!