Veil Help (PIP)

ejheart

Alright guys, I'm on a time crunch and I need opinions on a veil (because apparently I'm not capable of doing this on my own). Here's my dress:


 

Originally, I wanted a birdcage veil (this is not my dress but it is similar), but I was told that it doesn't "go" with the style/implied era of my dress:


 


So, I gave up on a veil and decided to buy CWaggoner's hairpiece (which I adore, and will wear at the reception regardless of the veil choice). THEN I found a veil similar to this one (this IS my dress):


 

Here is the actual veil:


 

So, here's my dilemma...what do you think will look best with my dress? (Carrie...help!) I love the long lace veil, but it's pretty expensive. I was about to order it today but then I started having second thoughts about the birdcage, because I just can't decide if I'm a traditional veil kind of person. I definitely feel like I could just forego the whole decision and go veil-less, but last night I mentioned the dilemma to FI and, while he previously stated that he did not care if I wore one or not he still said, "Huh? You weren't planning on wearing a veil at all?!" (therefore proving that boys never listen) and that REALLY made me second guess myself. I feel like he wants me to wear one but he doesn't want to tell me that. Thoughts/opinions/sanity, please, someone? 

angelsong21

Honestly, I'd love to see a cathedral length, simple veil with this dress.  No edging...  It wouldn't take away from the back since there are no layers and it will be very sheer.  But it would just create a beautiful softness.  Those are my thoughts, but I'm no veil expert so you might not rely heavily on my opinion, lol.

cwaggoner07

OMG girl I was going through the exact same dilemma like, 2 weeks before our wedding!
I even had a friend with a plain backup veil on hold just in case.

Ultimately... I'm SO glad I didn't go with one. A lot of things swayed me.
1) My Mom didn't wear a veil! Even all those years ago when it was unheard of to go without, my mom said 'I'm way more intersted in being a wife than a bride.' My mom and I have the same sensibilities, and I think part of not wanting to wear a veil is my tendency to not be a very flashy person. I love looking and feeling cute, but I don't necessarily love the attention and pomp, if you will.
2) My photographer during bridals said she is seeing more and more brides go without. I didn't feel like I was crazy to not want one.
3) I thought back to my appointment with Becky, when my sister went along. Bless her heart, she wanted me to fall in love with a veil so bad that we spent 20-30 minutes trying on the different ones she had in her house. She wasn't trying to make a sale, she really thought I would regret not wearing a veil. Both my sister and I agreed that NONE of them looked right on me. Whether that was because of point #1 or the stlye of my dress, I'm not sure.


When I very first bought my dress, I thought I wanted a birdcage. But as I kept going along in the wedding planning, I became OBSESSED with not looking to trendy or dated, and I felt like the birdcage was just that. They are gorgeous and I love the ones I see, I just didn't want one.
I would also be worried about matching the lace, which was why I was so excited to make a hairpeice out of my dress applique.

My vote is going to be not to wear one, just because that's what I did with the same dress! But truly in your heart, you will feel beautiful no matter what you decide.

I hope that helps!

fallbride1109

I love a veil for a ceremony.  I didn't think I wanted one either until I tried them on.    I actually love Amy's suggestion of a long but simple veil that wouldn't compete with the dress, and a sheer plain veil wouldn't be expensive.  But I do like that one also and it is similar to what professorscience wore with her lace dress.

I am not a birdcage fan anyway but I don't like a birdcage for that beautiful dress.

I really wanted the long version of my veil but just couldn't do it and in the end it wasn't worth it. 

Jen6862

Have you tried a veil on with your dress? I highly recommend doing this. I also tried on a bunch at Becky's thinking I didn't want to use the one I borrowed from a cousin. In the end nothing but the borrowed veil worked. And I was just weirded out by the piece in front of my face--maybe because I'm not a fussy person.

Go figure.

And my dress was lace... the veil was one layer and went to my butt with lace on the bottom edges but not around the face--although I love that Spanish look of your last veil.

ktwed1

I would agree to either go with Amy's reccomendation of a sheer veil or go without. I was adamant on not wearing a veil as it's my 2nd marriage but my daughter wants me to so I chose a very simple sheer finger tip veil.

ejheart

Amy - I appreciate the suggestion, but cathedral length is definitely not my thing. I mean, I think they're really pretty, but the only thing I love about this veil is the lace edging so..yep.

Carrie - Thank you for making me feel like less of a crazy person. Becky did the same thing to me, too! Although, I really only tried on a few because I was pretty picky about the style that I wanted, but she definitely wanted me to get one. So, you didn't end up regretting your decision at all?

Stephie - I think you and Carrie are both right about the birdcage. As much as I love them, it probably just isn't right for my dress. Sigh.

I think I may just go ahead and order it and if I decide not to wear it then I can always sell it.

fallbride1109

ktwed1, I felt the same way as this was my 2nd marriage too, but once I tried on the veil in the store, I just fell in love with it. 

ejheart, can you return the veil if you don't like it?  It is really pretty--let us know what you decide.  That dress is just so exquisite--I can't wait to see you in it!

cwaggoner07

Erica, it was one of those things where I kept waiting to feel bummed or regret it. Like, why am I not more upset that I didn't wear a veil??? I kind of feel like I'm waiting for some regret, but none so far. I just don't think it would have been very 'me' at all... I can't explain it. Every single bride I see with one on looks GORGEOUS, but it just felt foreign to me.

jillrenee&brett

My dress is super similar to yours (it's Maggie Sottero) and I am not wearing a veil. I think the dress has so much going on it doesn't need anything else to take the focus off of it. When I went to Becky, she asked me a bunch if I was sure too. She told me she likes to make sure because sometimes the mothers have very strong opinion on the subject. I am getting a super cool hairpiece tho, and I think that will take care of any deep seeded feelings towards a veil. But, I definitely think the dress looks great with or without! Good luck!

ejheart

Guys, thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions. Jen - yes, I did try on several and I liked the one layer sheer style, but I didn't like any of the edging that I found (I didn't want anything with beads or sparkles) and like you, I didn't want a blusher. Stephie - no, I can't return it because it's from Etsy. Thanks for the compliments on my dress.

In the end, I decided I want to at least attempt it since FI seems to picture me in one, and I did really like the look of this one. However, I got worried that this version (with the lace starting at the very top) would be a little much, so here is the one that I ordered! We shall see how it goes!

jrsweetpea

I want to tell you the same thing FI told me - nobody will be wearing it but you! I think most of all, you should be comfortable and completely happy with what you wear (and I'm sure your FI would agree). I hate the thought of any bride being uncomfortable or feeling less herself because she was trying to please someone else. Go with your gut and I'm sure you will look and feel beautiful!