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Registry and Gift Forum

No gifts, please!

Our wedding is this weekend (woohoo!) and the ceremony is just the 2 of us, as we live 6000 miles away from home (thank you, US Army). We are having a party in October when we return back to New England for the first time in over a year to celebrate our marriage, we're not really calling it a reception and we are NOT doing anything that is tradtionally found at wedding receptions..just food, drinks, music, and good company. Anyway, we have been asked by several people if we have a registry, so we began making a small one at Bed, Bath & Beyond for this purpose. However, the more we thought about it, the more we would prefer either no gifts or, if people feel the need to gift us with something, we would prefer cash or gift cards as we live in Hawaii and do not want to deal with the headache of shipping gifts back home. I know that when you purchase gifts online through the registry there is the option to ship directly to us in Hawaii, but reality is that 60% of our guest list is older family members who do not have a computer and will therefore pick up a gift at a BBB location or just buy us something else. I wish there was a place to put on the registry "Please consider shipping directly to our address in Hawaii" or something. How do we let our guests know we prefer either cash or no gift at all? I've tried a couple times to say "Oh, you really don't have to worry about getting us anything, we just want to party with you all!" but..that pretty much goes in one ear and out the other in my family.
PersonalMilestone Anniversary

Re: No gifts, please!

  • If you don't want gifts just don't register. If people ask you - just reply "Thanks so much but we have so much already - we have everything we need!" People will get the hint.Don't ask for cash, that is bad news. You can't help it if they buy you things, unfortunately.
  • I definitely don't want to come right out and ask for cash or gift cards. And we deleted the registry we had started making. I guess this is almost a lose-lose situation! I'm just dreading what I know will be such a pain of shipping potentially 100+ gifts from Maine to Hawaii.
    PersonalMilestone Anniversary
  • Don't register, and just let your immediate family know that you'd prefer no gifts or just cash or gift cards due to travel; it'll spread by word of mouth.
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  • I heard a rumor that you can return gifts to the BB&B in the place of purchase, and pick them up again in the state of residence. I'm not sure how it works or if it's true, but you could always return anything you get, get the store credit, and then "buy" the same item again at the BB&B in Hawaii and accomplish the same result- just an idea if people are insisting on giving you physical gifts!
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  • I've heard the same thing, GeauxTigers, but I've also heard that it screws up the store's daily revenues and can impact the people working that day.  Don't know the truth of that, but I've seen it mentioned on here before.

    If it's one or two things, I suppose that's okay.  But I can't imagine going into a store and returning a whole shower's or wedding's worth of gifts.
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  • Your family/bridal party can spread by word of mouth (if people ask them where you are registered) that you don't really want physical gifts, because they will be so difficult to get to Hawaii.

     Is there someone in Maine (parents?) who can store some gifts for you for a while? If so, every time you head back to Maine (for Christmas or whatever) you can bring a large suitcase of wedding gifts to check on the plane with you. Most people will probably give cash, if they know your situation, so I bet you'd have everything to HI in one or two suitcase trips.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_gifts-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6a7255b7-6a26-4d17-a934-475875ddf5f2Post:5407bb70-1ac1-4782-b2b4-d615f6ed0e11">Re: No gifts, please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your family/bridal party can spread by word of mouth (if people ask them where you are registered) that you don't really want physical gifts, because they will be so difficult to get to Hawaii.  Is there someone in Maine (parents?) who can store some gifts for you for a while? If so, every time you head back to Maine (for Christmas or whatever) you can bring a large suitcase of wedding gifts to check on the plane with you. Most people will probably give cash, if they know your situation, so I bet you'd have everything to HI in one or two suitcase trips.
    Posted by SirJuliusVonHaast[/QUOTE]

    That's an idea to consider. All of my family is in Maine, I'm sure my parents could hold on to some things and maybe ship things in small batches or, like you said, I could take a whole suitcase full when I return for Christmas (that's the only time I go as it is SO expensive to fly, and because we are going in October we have to miss Christmas this year..so bummed! Thank God we are only here for a couple more years). That's interesting about the returning of gifts at BBB..I've never heard that but I'll look into it for maybe a few gifts if we receive them. I'll tell my parents and his parents the deal and hopefully the news will spread!
    PersonalMilestone Anniversary
  • I 2nd the idea to just spread the word via your mom or other family members. Delete the BBB registry (if you didn't already) and just play it by ear. It'll all work out, everyone will figure it out and you'll probably get a good amount of cash.
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