Registry

NikkiPSU

I have had multiple calls and text messages asking me the color scheme of my house because people are brainstorming ideas for a shower gift!  Why don't people just buy off the registry?  I can understand that people want to be creative, but we just purchased our home and truly have no idea what the color of our master bath, living room or basement is going to be.  We are waiting until after the wedding to do some remodeling and haven't even had a chance to look at paint colors.  I just hope that no one is getting something custom made because even if it doesn't fit our style/taste, I really wouldn't want something that we received as a gift to go to waste.  

samanthajeremy

I totally understand what you are saying!  It does get annoying answering all the calls and emails about what our furniture looks like now and what colors.  I undersatnd older people are not as with it about regestries but c'mon. 

snwilson0416

Yeah, how rude of those people! Buying you a gift, the nerve!

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:17068d57-ccd0-4a99-aa49-8559d555d842">Re: Why can't people just buy off the registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, how rude of those people! Buying you a gift, the nerve!
Posted by snwilson0416[/QUOTE]

Actually as a been there done that bride it is annoying as hell when people go off registry.  We appreciated all of our gifts, however, we returned and/or exchanged anything that was not on the registry.

We have both been on our own for 15 - 20 years and when we moved in together, Good Will got some high quality donations because we didn't need two of everything.  We went through the house with a clipboard and made a list of things to upgrade or replace.  We literally did not need or want one thing more than what we'd registered for.

The vast majority of our guests either gave cash or bought off the registry.  The others got a very nice thank you note and then we were off to the store with their gift.

**ETA - that should have said "The vast majority of our guests either gave cash or bought ON registry."

Blueyed228

I was grateful for every gift I got.  Regardless of whether it was on the registry or not.

NikkiPSU

I'm going to be very grateful for the gifts either way, I just hope that it's not something that they spend tons of money on that just doesn't fit our decor.  FI loves Howard Stern and we were listening a few weeks ago and he was talking about this painting that he received as a gift that they both thought was hideous!  He later found out that it cost the gift giver $10,000 and they only put it up when he comes to visit.  While I know that none of my guests have the ability to spend money like that and it was a very thoughtful gift, I just hope that anything they buy that isn't on the registry doesn't go to waste.  

GeauxTigers17

I understand what you're saying, but a lot of people find registries either impersonal or rude on their own (my grandmother hates them with an unreasonable passion). I do think people who try to buy house decor for others are skirting really dangerous territory, though! It's one thing to go off-registry and buy a fun quilt that can go in a closet...a total other to buy someone a painting and expect it to be hung on the wall. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:1d7019b7-03c1-4b23-a1f2-513e5673685b">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand what you're saying, but a lot of people find registries either impersonal or rude on their own (my grandmother hates them with an unreasonable passion). <strong>I do think people who try to buy house decor for others are skirting really dangerous territory, though!</strong> <strong>It's one thing to go off-registry and buy a fun quilt that can go in a closet...a total other to buy someone a painting and expect it to be hung on the wall. 
</strong>Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]

Exactly!!!  Everyone thinks they have good taste but the fact is they have their taste and it's not necessarily the same as yours.

Blueyed228

Sorry- you dont get to dictate what people decide to give you as a gift.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:7120eb79-45a8-4af9-a69d-193ad7c6fd36">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry- you dont get to dictate what people decide to give you as a gift.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I don't think anyone here said you did.  I do believe though that the registry is supposed to be a guide and can see how it would be annoying when people don't use it.  Just because someone thinks something is pretty doesn't mean it is going to go with my home - and I for one don't have a lot of storage space.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:7120eb79-45a8-4af9-a69d-193ad7c6fd36">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry- you dont get to dictate what people decide to give you as a gift.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I never said they did - I'm saying that buying off registry was inconvenient for us.  I also said we appreciated every gift that was given.  However, here are the things we returned to the store:

a panini sandwich press - we don't eat panini sandwiches nor do we have the space to keep a press in our kitchen

a toaster oven - we may have kept this had I not won a new one at a church festival five months earlier

a crock pot - again, we already had one.

Bright turqois serving platters with yellow detail.  The card said they noticed we hadn't registered for china but knew we'd need these anyway.  Never in a million years would we have bought these and the reason we didn't register for china is because I inherited French china that has been in my family since 1820 (and includes all serving pieces).  Yeah.  These serving platters would have gone with it.  And I already had a full set of everyday china, including serving platters.  Also, again, we had nowhere to put these.

Like I said, most of our guests bought on registry or gave cash.

Hellokatie0517

Are you 100% positive that these questions have to do with a potential gift? Could it be that everyone is just curious about your new house? When FI and I moved into our house, we got similar questions.  I answered them, but there was no gifting involved.  People might just be asking about your new house. 

Just looking at this from another angle.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:5b108882-babe-4bbb-b7c4-615f0d636cc1">Re: Why can't people just buy off the registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was grateful for every gift I got.  Regardless of whether it was on the registry or not.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

This. No one has to get you a gift. Their heart is in the right place. I think it makes you sound shitty to complain about any gift. If it's truly that much of a pain in the ass to return something that someone else bought for you, then perhaps you should box it up and give it to goodwill. At least it will get appreciated then.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:670bd5a6-ca98-4c72-a55d-daaa3616de8c">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry : I never said they did - I'm saying that buying off registry was inconvenient for us.  I also said we appreciated every gift that was given.  However, here are the things we returned to the store: a panini sandwich press - we don't eat panini sandwiches nor do we have the space to keep a press in our kitchen a toaster oven - we may have kept this had I not won a new one at a church festival five months earlier a crock pot - again, we already had one. Bright turqois serving platters with yellow detail.  The card said they noticed we hadn't registered for china but knew we'd need these anyway.  Never in a million years would we have bought these and the reason we didn't register for china is because I inherited French china that has been in my family since 1820 (and includes all serving pieces).  Yeah.  These serving platters would have gone with it.  And I already had a full set of everyday china, including serving platters.  Also, again, we had nowhere to put these. Like I said, most of our guests bought on registry or gave cash.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

I didnt say that you did.  OP was complaining about "Why cant people just shop off the registry!!!" (Which BTW was the original title of the thread that she changed).

Yes, getting a gift that you do not like and that was not on the registry can be annoying, but it doesnt take away from the good intention in which it was given to you under.

There are still people out there (elderly guests for example) who do not understand or know how to look for or shop from a registry.  And there are people who cannot afford to purchase a gift for you and choose to give you something handmade.  Therefore, all gifts should be appreciated since they are not mandatory. 

And FWIW, Mocking serving platters that someone took time out of their day to shop for because they dont match your fancy french china is kind of crappy.

NikkiPSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:731114df-5fc5-4dbe-b2dc-a125365278f5">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]And there are people who cannot afford to purchase a gift for you and choose to give you something handmade.  Therefore, all gifts should be appreciated since they are not mandatory.  And FWIW, Mocking serving platters that someone took time out of their day to shop for because they dont match your fancy french china is kind of crappy.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>All gifts are appreciated!  As stated originally, it the name of the thread was changed because you immediately jumped on me regarding the post.   I am perfectly fine with homemade gifts, sometimes they are the best gifts!  And I have been in the position for the past 2 years where I haven't been able to always buy the most expensive things on the registry, but I have made due because those items are what the couple wants!  I'm sorry if you think I came across greedy or ungrateful, but that was not my intention.   </div><div>
</div><div>Sorry for venting about not wanting my guests to spend money on something that we may not be able to use or would just be displayed or put in a guest room that no one would see.  I'll make sure never to do it again!  </div>

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:6a400f8d-2bee-4bb4-a71f-527edca53c9f">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry : <strong><u>All gifts are appreciated!</u></strong>  As stated originally, it the name of the thread was changed because you immediately jumped on me regarding the post.   I am perfectly fine with homemade gifts, sometimes they are the best gifts!  And I have been in the position for the past 2 years where I haven't been able to always buy the most expensive things on the registry, but I have made due because those items are what the couple wants!  I'm sorry if you think I came across greedy or ungrateful, but that was not my intention.    Sorry for venting about not wanting my guests to spend money on something that we may not be able to use or would just be displayed or put in a guest room that no one would see.  I'll make sure never to do it again!  
Posted by NikkiPSU[/QUOTE]

If that was the case, this thread wouldnt exist.

I didnt jump on your back.  All I said was that I was grateful for all the gifts I got.  It looks to me that maybe you realized you were coming off a little bratty and decided to change it.

[Deleted User]

I get not wanting something to go to waste, but this is really one of those things that you just have no control over. And IMO, venting or getting frustrated over receiving a gift that you may not want makes you seem entitled. Maybe they saw it in the store and thought of you. Maybe it has a special meaning to them and they are passing along to you. It's just crazy to me to get so bent out of shape over something that you A. can not control and B. are receiving out of love.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cant-people-just-buy-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6aefbd85-9664-44a4-a507-1edd63bd5cf0Post:bc036a72-5092-4bf5-bd41-24c6eb5f928e">Re: Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I get not wanting something to go to waste, but this is really one of those things that you just have no control over. And IMO, venting or getting frustrated over receiving a gift that you may not want makes you seem entitled. Maybe they saw it in the store and thought of you. Maybe it has a special meaning to them and they are passing along to you. It's just crazy to me to get so bent out of shape over something that you A. can not control and B. are receiving out of love.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

No lie, one of the best gifts I got and use all the time was not on my registry.  It was a tomato knife.  I had no idea wtf is was when I opened it, but the lady who gave it to us explained.

That thing is the shiit.  Super sharp, cuts perfect slices.

[Deleted User]

I want a tomato knife! I can't cut tomatoes for shiit.

Blueyed228

It came in this little box and I thought it was part of another gift.  Thats when she spoke up (she was right in front of us) and explained what it was.  I guess she gives it at all the showers she goes to because of how awesome it is.

This is the link- its the Trimmer one on the left.

http://www.cutco.com/products/product.jsp?itemGroup=1721

NikkiPSU

I have that knife!  I love it, I inherited all my mothers Cutco, the whole set is phenomenal!  Especially with the lifetime sharpening and guarantee!

[Deleted User]

Matt's parents got us some really nice steak knives. I had only had the cheapest target version before. I really had no idea what a huge difference it would make. Now I want every really nice, sharp knife out there. Even though I only cook once or twice a week.

Side note: has anyone ever heard of the rule that you aren't supposed to give knives to a couple at a shower? I was at a shower one time and the couple received a set of knives and one of the older aunts freaked out. She said it was bad luck.

NikkiPSU

Cutco or Wusthof are the go to brands in my family, they have the best "care" plans and warantees.  To buy the whole block at once is generally a lot, but if you start getting a few pieces here and there then you can start putting a set together.  Having a good set of knives makes a HUGE difference, I always recommend everyone have a bread knife!

I've heard of this superstition. It's bad luck to receive a knives as a gift, but you may purchases them from the gift giver.  In my family generally if someone gives you knives for a gift you have to make sure to give them $1 so that you are purchasing the knives and not receiving them as a gift.  If you buy them yourself it is not bad luck.  Weird, I know, but Great Aunt Frances likes the tradition and she's 105 so what she says goes!

[Deleted User]

Ha! That's crazy. I love strange traditionas like that.

GeauxTigers17

If I remember correctly, that knife thing isn't bad luck for the couple, but it's bad luck for the giver. Giving a knife was said to sever the friendship!

hannahj1983

I think anyone is still appreciative of a gift, but you can't lie, it is a hassle to return something in all the aftermath and thank you letter writing, etc- to have to return something.  It just is.  that is the main reason I didn't do anything with Target or Target.com, because no doubt- you will have to return something and I want it painless as possible.  

That is part of the reason I did a "wish" registry- to avoid this- hopefully using uponourstar.com will simplify things!