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Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!

Overall, I have seen that most of The Knot's advice on having a registry for a renewal is "don't do it." In some cases, I can understand why, in others I can't. Either way, here is my husband and I's approach to Registry for a Renewal, including some background on our nuptials!

My husband and I were just married this past March, 2012!  We had a beautiful and small wedding at Chapel of the Flowers in Las Vegas. With that said, we are having a renewal of vows ceremony in Vegas in 2014.

Since we did not have a registry nor did we receive any gifts, we decided that we would like to have the experience of creating one! So, we are having a registry for our renewal and then we can have the fun of getting new things!

HOWEVER. Rather than expect people to "get us stuff," WE are the ones buying things off of the registry for ourselves. Since I am in school, we have a tight budget and paid for our original wedding and our renewal, our plan is to purchase the things off of our registry a bit at a time over the next year. We are going to have the things gift wrapped and sent to us, but will not open them until March of 2014!

Should anyone that we invite to our renewal inquire about a registry, we will let them know about it, but no one will be obligated to get us anything, and we can still have the fun swag that newlyweds get to enjoy!

For couples that may have missed out on a registry but feel bad making one after the fact, this is one way to go about it when you have only you and your hubby to rely upon for such things!

Cheers! Laughing

Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!

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    I thinks it's a pretty neat idea because it's not necessarily for your guests. Just beware that you might not get things from your registry as quickly as you may like say within the next two years since life has a tendency to take over our fun financial plans.
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    Thanks! I think it's pretty cool, too. And, like you said, since finances do not always go as expected, it gives us plenty of time and absolutely no pressure to get everything on our registry, rather pick and choose and treat ourselves!
    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:8d5e41e6-19ef-4d6c-b37f-cfad9e7f39bd">Re:Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thinks it's a pretty neat idea because it's not necessarily for your guests. Just beware that you might not get things from your registry as quickly as you may like say within the next two years since life has a tendency to take over our fun financial plans.
    Posted by mdupon70997[/QUOTE]
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    Ahahahaha! Yeah, I realize people could go quite a few ways with a registry for a renewal. I figure this route, we get cool stuff because we invested in it! And let's face it, getting presents rocks!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:7936efd7-a701-46ab-a2c6-e8e2738dce97">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was prepared for this to be a trainwreck, but it is actually a really cute idea.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
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    I think it's a cute idea!  Plus, if the store has a registry completion discount, then you'll be able to use that after the renewal to buy whatever stuff is left for yourself.  Hey, if you're the one buying all the stuff, you might as well get yourself the completion discount at the end:-)
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    Fun and practical idea!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2012
    I guess my only issue with this is I don't see any point in having a vow renewal after only 2 years. It seems like you are looking for a PPD and gifts.
     
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    edited December 2012
    Are you inviting anyone to the renewal or is it just going to be you and H? I'm with Hoboken in that I don't understand the purpose of renewals after only a few years of marriage. I see them as something to be seriously considered after a separation, very trying time in life (like a major illness or deployment) or on a milestone anniversary like 25 years. I guess it's just an I don't get it for me and that vow renewals that do occur after one of these situations are not as special or meaningful because everyone and their brother are now having renewals all the time. Eh.

    As for the registry, are you each surprising each other with the gifts? Like H might buy something off registry, have it wrapped and shipped to you as a surprise? I think that can be a cute idea. I don't really see the point in buying yourself something, but then having to wait to get it shipped to you gift wrapped in the mail. I would rather just buy it and be able to use it that day.

    I really am not trying to be sour about this; I just don't get the whole idea.


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    Thank you! And double-thanks on the information about the completion discount. I didn't know anything about that! :-)

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:297e7d05-877b-42a9-91fe-c068d9112f87">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's a cute idea!  Plus, if the store has a registry completion discount, then you'll be able to use that after the renewal to buy whatever stuff is left for yourself.  Hey, if you're the one buying all the stuff, you might as well get yourself the completion discount at the end:-)
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
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    Thank you! I think it will be pretty fun!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:1f5089fc-100d-40c2-a4af-d79ea9787a41">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Fun and practical idea!
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
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    The reasons as to when, why and how one should have a renewal or not are pretty subjective, so "eh." *shrugs* To each one's own! 

    As for the gifts, YES. We want the gifts, so we are buying the items of off the registry for ourselves, since we didn't have one (a registry,) the first time around. We get to treat ourselves and have the fun of looking for things with one another! 

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:70482026-81bd-45ec-92c8-779b298cb0b4">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my only issue with this is I don't see any point in having a vow renewal after only 2 years. It seems like you are looking for a PPD and gifts.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
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    Like what I said to Hoboken, the reasons as to when, why and how one should have a renewal or not are pretty subjective. And very personal. So, to each one's own! 

    To answer your first question, for our renewal we will be inviting those who were not in attendance at our original wedding. Since we married out of state and preferred to keep things small given our life at the time, we would like to invite everyone to come out and celebrate with us, this time with plently of advance notice! No pressure, just sharing a special time and each other's company!

    To answer your question of "what's the point?" regarding a registry. Again, pretty subjective as to why, why not, point, no point, etc. I suppose everyone who goes on this website could be asked "what's the point in getting married?" I say, if you want it, whether it's what to have at dinner, what church, invites, blah blah. Do it for yourself and your husband. If you don't want it, don't do it. Keep it simple and enjoy what you two are into.
    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:c85d9125-d103-4260-9c9e-bbf23f205f7c">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you inviting anyone to the renewal or is it just going to be you and H? I'm with Hoboken in that I don't understand the purpose of renewals after only a few years of marriage. I see them as something to be seriously considered after a separation, very trying time in life (like a major illness or deployment) or on a milestone anniversary like 25 years. I guess it's just an I don't get it for me and that vow renewals that do occur after one of these situations are not as special or meaningful because everyone and their brother are now having renewals all the time. Eh. As for the registry, are you each surprising each other with the gifts? Like H might buy something off registry, have it wrapped and shipped to you as a surprise? I think that can be a cute idea. I don't really see the point in buying yourself something, but then having to wait to get it shipped to you gift wrapped in the mail. I would rather just buy it and be able to use it that day. I really am not trying to be sour about this; I just don't get the whole idea.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:0200383d-b3fb-4566-8819-eb039cf61ad5">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Like what I said to Hoboken, the reasons as to when, why and how one should have a renewal or not are pretty subjective. And very personal. So, to each one's own!  To answer your first question, for our renewal we will be inviting those who were not in attendance at our original wedding. Since we married out of state and preferred to keep things small given our life at the time, we would like to invite everyone to come out and celebrate with us, this time with plently of advance notice! No pressure, just sharing a special time and each other's company! To answer your question of <strong>"what's the point?" regarding a registry.</strong> Again, pretty subjective as to why, why not, point, no point, etc. I suppose everyone who goes on this website could be asked <strong>"what's the point in getting married?</strong>" I say, if you want it, whether it's what to have at dinner, what church, invites, blah blah. Do it for yourself and your husband. If you don't want it, don't do it. Keep it simple and enjoy what you two are into. In Response to Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan! :
    Posted by LaurensHell[/QUOTE]

    <div>The point of a registry is to let your guests who would like guidance in selecting a gift know what you could use in your home, and to choose colors, styles, etc so that your things match.  </div><div>
    </div><div>The point of getting married is to make a commitment to each other, both legally and spiritually. </div><div>
    </div><div>The point of a vow renewal is... well, nothing.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Like PP, I'm glad this isn't a huge trainwreck, but that still doesn't mean it makes sense.  If you are strapped financially (as you say in your OP), why waste a bunch of money on a pointless party in Vegas?  Wouldn't the money be better spent furnishing and outfitting your home?  </div><div>
    </div><div>I get that you didn't have the wedding of your dreams, but a renewal in Vegas isn't going to change that.  It's your money and you can spend it how you want, but it doesn't make any sense.  If you put it out there, people are going to ask.  </div>
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    I say let's do this...step back and think about one of the things that you do in a marriage. Decision making and planning with your spouse, from large to small decisions, fun or serious! I think, especially after reading the tone of the last few responses, cynisicm and opinion tend to get in the way of doing many things. This being no different, sadly. 

    The main purpose of this thread is to give ideas to those who A.) Want a renewal, B.) Debating if a registry for a renewal is apropos or not.

    As to whether or not one should have a renewal, why should I have one, why should or should I not have one. Again, that is not "the point" of the thread I started. If it isn't for you, it isn't. But the negativity and cynicism from some pretty depressing outlooks is not very helpful to those who are reading and wondering what they should do if they are having a renewal. 

    Soooo...to those who are wondering "why bother with a renewal?" This wouldn't be the best place to question it or for me to advise, unfortunately. Sorrrrrry

    However, if there is feedback from those who HAVE been questioning what to do, I hope that this thread will be useful!

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />   

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:2b768031-7e77-42e5-8903-eba593290af0">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan! : The point of a registry is to let your guests who would like guidance in selecting a gift know what you could use in your home, and to choose colors, styles, etc so that your things match.   The point of getting married is to make a commitment to each other, both legally and spiritually.  The point of a vow renewal is... well, nothing.   Like PP, I'm glad this isn't a huge trainwreck, but that still doesn't mean it makes sense.  If you are strapped financially (as you say in your OP), why waste a bunch of money on a pointless party in Vegas?  Wouldn't the money be better spent furnishing and outfitting your home?   I get that you didn't have the wedding of your dreams, but a renewal in Vegas isn't going to change that.  It's your money and you can spend it how you want, but it doesn't make any sense.  If you put it out there, people are going to ask.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
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    edited December 2012
    Actually I think even though a few of us disagreed with you, no one was depressing, cynical or mean at all. You can't really dictate what the point of a post should be. You posted about vow renewals and registries. I and many others commented with our thoughts on these. They may not jive with what you and your H think, but that doesn't make them less valid, nor does it mean we can't post our thoughts on your thread. If you didn't want any commentary on vow renewals, you probably shouldn't have posted an entire thread about the vow renewal you are having.

    For future reference I wouldn't cite TK articles as proof of anything. They are the wedding industry and are just out to get money--from you, your WP, your guests, etc without regard to etiquette or the feelings of your friends/family and guests.


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-for-a-renewal-here-is-our-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6ccd7b19-681e-4873-af79-daace4c6f64fPost:a1660fac-b283-4e36-bb66-8cfddf150b51">Re: Registry for a Renewal? Here is our Plan!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here are some articles from TheKnot that are helpful for decision making in YOUR renewal or if you were wanting to know if you should have a registry or not!! They were useful for us, definitely! <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/bridal-registry-advice/qa/appropriate-for-a-vow-renewal.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/bridal-registry-advice/qa/appropriate-for-a-vow-renewal.aspx</a> <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/wedding-planning-advice/qa/wedding-etiquette-vow-renewal.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/wedding-planning-advice/qa/wedding-etiquette-vow-renewal.aspx</a> <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/online-wedding-registry/bridal-registry-tips/qa/appropriate-for-a-vow-renewal.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/online-wedding-registry/bridal-registry-tips/qa/appropriate-for-a-vow-renewal.aspx</a>
    Posted by LaurensHell[/QUOTE]

    You do realize TK is a business trying to make money right?
     
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    I'm just concerned that your guests are going to stumble across it - particularly if you are this excited about it and are telling people - and will then feel pressured to buy you a gift.  

    And FWIW, the completion discounts are nice if you can't wait to buy things during crazy sales.  But Macys, BBB, WS, etc. all have sales that beat their completion discounts if you are willing to wait.  BBB's black friday? The entire store is 20% off.  Macy's one day sales?  Usually better than 10% off.  PB and WS outlets?  Carry everything 25-30% off on a routine basis, and if you hit them up during the holidays you can get stuff even cheaper than that.

    I just don't get it, and I think guests will think it's for them.
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    I don't see anything wrong with the idea. H and I sometimes add things to our registry even though we've been married almost three months now, just because it's like a wish list where we can keep track of things we'll want or need in the future. I certainly don't expect guests to find it and think we want another gift from them after the wedding.

    If any of OP's guests find the list and say something, I think it would be a quick thing to straighten out--just say it's simply a way to keep track of things they want to buy for themselves. Not a big deal. And I doubt her guests are going to be searching for a registry so that they can ridicule her for having one. Anyone looking for a registry will probably be wanting to buy them something.
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