Two Wedding Gift Questions

fionahalliwell

My cousin (who's more like a sister, really) is getting married, and my sister and I are both in the WP. I'm 19 and a college sophomore; my sister is 17 and a high school senior. This is our first experience being in a wedding party (aside from the time we were flower girls about 15 years ago) and our first time purchasing a wedding gift for someone (we don't go to that many weddings; our parents tend to be the gift purchasers). 

Nonetheless, as bridesmaids who've also been very active in planning (and talking to other relatives), we know that just about everyone plans to get her something off her registry. And we would, too, but we wanted to see if there was a more unique present we could get her, if at all possible. After all, we are her younger cousins, so we want our present to be a bit of fun, rather than another place setting or something our older relatives intend to buy. 

Is there any time when it's ok to deviate from the registry? We went registry shopping with her; we know that it's home goods only. If it's not appropriate for us to buy something else, we'll find something on the registry that fits our price range and makes sense coming from two young women. 

A second question: if it is better etiquette to purchase registry items, is it ok to purchase something different for, say, one of her three showers? Maybe the one we're hosting? This is someone we've known all our lives, and we want to get her meaningful gifts at SOME point, if we can. 

Thank you in advance for your advice! 

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_two-wedding-gift-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6fe66dc1-ee97-483d-a019-064b187d19d1Post:a3d46dff-322f-422b-bd32-c1a7d28b6d8f">Two Wedding Gift Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin (who's more like a sister, really) is getting married, and my sister and I are both in the WP. I'm 19 and a college sophomore; my sister is 17 and a high school senior. This is our first experience being in a wedding party (aside from the time we were flower girls about 15 years ago) and our first time purchasing a wedding gift for someone (we don't go to that many weddings; our parents tend to be the gift purchasers).  Nonetheless, as bridesmaids who've also been very active in planning (and talking to other relatives), we know that just about everyone plans to get her something off her registry. And we would, too, but we wanted to see if there was a more unique present we could get her, if at all possible. After all, we are her younger cousins, so we want our present to be a bit of fun, rather than another place setting or something our older relatives intend to buy.  Is there any time when it's ok to deviate from the registry? We went registry shopping with her; we know that it's home goods only. If it's not appropriate for us to buy something else, we'll find something on the registry that fits our price range and makes sense coming from two young women. <strong> A second question: if it is better etiquette to purchase registry items, is it ok to purchase something different for, say, one of her three showers? Maybe the one we're hosting?</strong> This is someone we've known all our lives, and we want to get her meaningful gifts at SOME point, if we can.  Thank you in advance for your advice! 
Posted by fionahalliwell[/QUOTE]

I think this is a good idea. I really believe in sticking to the registry because I feel that couples spend a good amount of time thinking about what they want & need & putting those things on the registry. However, since she is having 3 showers & you are probably going to get her a gift for each shower (right?), I think it would be okay to deviate from the registry for one of them & get her something a little more personal.

fionahalliwell

Thank you both! I definitely see the value to staying on the register, and I also realize that I'm in the unique position of knowing their new place pretty well and having a solid idea of their tastes, so I guess I'm not bound either way. 

I think my sister and I will have to discuss it more, but the way I see it, one of the three showers is a themed shower, so maybe our mom will join us in buying something that matches the theme. For the shower we're hosting, we'll probably go more sentimental regardless. The third shower...we'll probably just get something small on her registry. We have to really sit down and look over the registry again. It's totally different to watch them running around with the scanner...I don't remember the specifics of what they picked. I just remember taking her fiancé (FCIL--future cousin-in-law? haha) out to lunch about halfway through the day because my aunt and I thought he was going to pass out after five hours in the store. 

Overall, we'll definitely consult the registry frequently and, if I get any kind of hint that there's something she wished she could register for and couldn't find in the stores or something, we'll consider that if it's in-budget. 

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_two-wedding-gift-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6fe66dc1-ee97-483d-a019-064b187d19d1Post:d7fbd130-f1e6-4126-a97b-7f9280e461c9">Re: Two Wedding Gift Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you both! I definitely see the value to staying on the register, and I also realize that I'm in the unique position of knowing their new place pretty well and having a solid idea of their tastes, so I guess I'm not bound either way.  I think my sister and I will have to discuss it more, but the way I see it, one of the three showers is a themed shower, so maybe our mom will join us in buying something that matches the theme. For the shower we're hosting, we'll probably go more sentimental regardless. The third shower...we'll probably just get something small on her registry. We have to really sit down and look over the registry again. It's totally different to watch them running around with the scanner...I don't remember the specifics of what they picked. I just remember taking her fiancé (FCIL--future cousin-in-law? haha) out to lunch about halfway through the day because my aunt and I thought he was going to pass out after five hours in the store.  Overall, we'll definitely consult the registry frequently and, if I get any kind of hint that there's something she wished she could register for and couldn't find in the stores or something, we'll consider that if it's in-budget. 
Posted by fionahalliwell[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think this is a pretty good plan.  I'll say this about our registries: we spent hours and hours editing, comparing, and really thinking it through.  Even the people who know us well enough to know our tastes don't necessarily know what it is we need the most.  Example: one of my best friends from law school is buying us a le creuset baker.  He's excited about it because he knows I love red le creuset.  That's true.  Thing is?  The baker he sent us is one we already have - I liked it enough to buy it on my own, but I certainly don't need two.  My MOH is also getting "something I will love," and while she's my BFF I'm sort of cringing because we don't share similar tastes at all.  If she loves it, I'm almost guaranteed to hate it. </div><div>
</div><div> On the other hand, I know my parents are getting us something I wanted to register for but opted out of (Lladro wedding figurine). </div><div>
</div><div>So really it can go either way, but you won't go wrong with their registries.  Honestly, a lot of the things we really need are the less expensive items (that people have not been buying) - like our drinking glasses, our kitchen gadgets, our food storage, and especially our towels.  I suppose some guests find these boring, but I can promise you that if anybody would buy even one towel I would call FI and celebrate, because that means we won't have to buy it ourselves. Maybe you should talk to your cousin and just ask her if there are any smaller items she really needs and will buy if she doesn't get?  

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Knottie_22388738

I agree with Sierra524 . It is a good idea to take one gift from registry and other from  somewhere else. In this way you can get a nice gift of your as well as her choice and she will definitely like it.