Am I being too judgemental?

kirshy156

A girl I know is getting married on Saturday. They are having a small "wedding and reception" since they are paying for it themselves. I'm cool with that. They're also having a party at Groom's parents house after (about 4:30pm) which many more people will be invited to (including FI and I). But they didn't bother to send formal invites for the party, just word of mouth.

Now I've been registry stalking them for about a month or so, and they really haven't gotten much, we were the first ones to buy anything off it a couple weeks ago. Since then maybe 5 more items have been purchased. I figured it must be because they were having such a small wedding. Also, their registry is pretty small, I thought they may have been hoping for cash.

But...

Tonight she posts a link to their registry on Facebook saying "In case anyone else is having trouble finding it, here's the link to our registry"

It just kinda feels weird and makes me side-eye them. I doubt her whole facebook friend list is invited to the party, and I KNOW they aren't all invited to the wedding. Plus, wouldn't you assume people are perfectly capable of figuring out where you are registered themselves? It's not that hard to search for a registry finder and then type in someone's name. I found it all on my own! And 3 days before the wedding? Really just feels like "I haven't gotten enough stuff!"

Summer2011Bride

Yeah HUGE side-eye from me as well. Even if it was way earlier, I would still side-eye a registry link on FB. Very tacky.

futurepivko

i have a friend whose getting married the end of this month, and she put in her facebook status where she is registered at "In case anyone need to know! !" pretty rude and tacky. i guess not everyone comes on The Knot and learns

jessicabessica

Yeah, she's doing some rude things, but if you're close enough with her to be ok with going to the after party only and still bring a gift, I don't know that the FB thing is that much more over the top.  If you can go and still be happy for her and enjoy yourself, then do so, but if you will feel judgy the whole time you're there, tell her something's come up and you can't attend. 

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_am-being-judgemental?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7628ca14-edcd-4031-a8b0-11a717658d0fPost:2ca9372c-6aa9-455f-9e5a-848337f832d0">Re: Am I being too judgemental?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah HUGE side-eye from me as well. Even if it was way earlier, I would still side-eye a registry link on FB. Very tacky.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup!</div>

ShakeUpTampa

That would make me roll my eyes and think stupidity plays a part in her family. I keep my FB talk minimal as do the other brides I know right now (Little blurps of Yay! Excited to spend the day with my bridal party, Found my dress (I havent yet hah)--but I don't mind seeing those...shoot I hate seeing the child pooped messages....I don't care what your kid did that is NORMAL haha....

I wouldnt say judgemental just thinking she has lack of class :-)

aegrish

ugh that is awful.  I would take back the gift I got her and just give a card. that's terribly greedy to post on FB.  If people have a problem finding it they'll ask.

kirshy156

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_am-being-judgemental?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7628ca14-edcd-4031-a8b0-11a717658d0fPost:46e6f2f9-7aef-436f-a010-6d51b070d667">Re: Am I being too judgemental?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, she's doing some rude things, but if you're close enough with her to be ok with going to the after party only and still bring a gift, I don't know that the FB thing is that much more over the top.  If you can go and still be happy for her and enjoy yourself, then do so, but if you will feel judgy the whole time you're there, tell her something's come up and you can't attend. 
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

It's not that big of a deal where we wouldn't go or anything. We're closer to him than her anyways, he's the one who introduced my FI and I. We'll still have fun there and all, and I understand the small wedding bit completely. Just the way they are going about everything. And then their registry isn't even full of essentials for home-building....they have a playstation move on there....which is actually one of the few things they've received...

noodle_oo

Yeah, it sounds tacky and greedy to me.  I dont' get why people think getting married makes them entitled to tons of gifts.  Especially since she's having a small wedding.  Not being invited to the actual wedding, I would have just gotten them a small gift and card.

Hellokatie0517

Whenever a bride that I know commits a faux pais, I always ask "Are you on TK? There's so much great info on there!"  All the while, I'm hoping she makes her way on to the boards and realizes what a total idiot she has been.  But, if I know the bride well enough, I'll call her out on it.  To be honest, I would want someone to do the same for me.