Registry and Gift Forum

Engagement Gifts and Pottery Barn

So currently I am living in Tennessee and one of my friends here was like ya, go ahead and register early because people will really really want to buy you gifts. And I have heard that before, the thing is we haven't got a single engagement present, I'm not that shocked or upset but I really thought we would have got at least one or two you know? And because my FI and I have been dating a relatively long time (6 years) everyone was like, "well it's about time" and never really congratulated us! 

Anyway, my second point. Has anyone registered at Pottery Barn. Because I did and I am in love with everything on the list. I'm afraid though because it does have a stigma for being upscale people wont get me anything from there. Also I am having a pretty small wedding (120 guests). Did anyone else have they're heart set on stuff from the registry and not get hardly any of it, or other random stuff you hate instead? 

Re: Engagement Gifts and Pottery Barn

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    We got two cards when we got engaged.  That's it.  I don't find it strange since engagement gifts are not all that common in my inner circle. 

    We also registered at Pottery Barn.  People will shop where you're registered and purchase what they can afford -- regardless of the stigma.  Side note: PB is not all that upscale.  Yeah, they have some pricey stuff, but it's not ridiculous.  We had many items on our registry for under $50.

    Yes, we had many items on our registries that were not purchased.  With the help of wedding money and completion discounts, we're in the process of buying those items.  You will get a handful of random gifts that will sit in a closet for a few years and then make their way into a yard sale.  It happens to all of us.  I think it's a rite of passage.  :)
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    OK a few things.  First, I'm in Tennessee also at the moment - wedding is in Georgia, moving to Alabama soon.  You haven't gotten engagement gifts, because gifts are for the wedding and for the shower, and my experience (and my friends' experience) is that people down here follow that rule pretty strictly.  If you had/have an engagement party, people might bring a bottle of wine or something REALLY small from your registry (if you're registered), but it's not required and plenty of people come empty-handed.  Personally, I always bring wine or champagne.  If you didn't have an e-party (I didn't), then it's no surprise to me that you haven't gotten anything.

    Second, I'm registered at pottery barn, and not everything there is upscale.  If you like their stuff and are worried about prices (I love their stuff), look at their lower thread count sheets, lower gram weight towels, great white dinnerware collection, etc.  You do need to have a range, but if you're selective in what you choose to be high end (for us its our comforter and towels), you probably will get some of it.

    Third, you are getting married to get married.  Not to get gifts.  I don't think that's what you mean, but that's sort of how your post comes across.  Let the gifts go.  I posted earlier this morning that I've found having things go out of stock really helps me detach myself from getting my heart set on receiving stuff, because I have to keep picking new stuff out.  Pottery barn discountinues about 1/3-1/2 of their stock each season - so if you register there, you probably WILL have things go out of stock on you, but that's ok.  If you don't get everything you really want, that's ok also.

    Finally, you can always pick 2 or 3 high-ticket items and save for them yourself to buy post-wedding with the discount. Then if somebody gets them for you, great.  If nobody gets them for you, no big deal.  What you DON'T want to do is be so set on a whole range of things that when you receive something that's NOT on that list you sound ungrateful... and right now it sounds like you're in the position to be ungrateful.  You can also make the list small so that everything somebody gets for you is something you would buy yourself.  I'm not doing that because I believe people need choices on registries, but that option is there.  Calm down - you will get presents.
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    rlavachrlavach member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited March 2012
    I got 2 gifts for my engagement, 1 of which is someone we're not even close enough to invite. We also didn't have an e-party. Don't worry, you'll get plenty of gifts at your shower (if someone throws one for you) and at your wedding. 
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    It doesn't sound like you had an E Party, so it's unlikely that someone would send you a gift just because you got engaged, and they're probably waiting until the wedding. My FI and I had been dating for 7 years when we finally set a date, and none of our close family or friends congratulated us - I guess it was a given that we were going to get married eventually. Just because they haven't congratulated you doesn't mean that they're not happy for you. The excitement will come as the wedding gets closer.
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    ceh789ceh789 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I got an engagement gift from my parents in the form of a check which they said I could use toward a wedding or do whatever I wanted with.  I also had a girlfriend take me to dinner, and my sisters bought a bottle of champagne when I told them.  Other than that I haven't received any engagement gifts and honesly I don't consider engagement to be a gift-giving occasion so I would have thought other things were a bit strange.
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    We didn't get a single engagement gift either, and I didn't expect to get one.  I guess maybe traditions are different in the midwest :)

    We didn't register at Pottery Barn, but we had some pricey things on our Macy's registry and I've been surprised that a lot of them have already been bought (wedding is 7 weeks away).  You might be surprised what people get for you- I say register for what you want, and if you don't get a lot of it as gifts then you can use gift cards/money to purchase those items you still really want.
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    For engagement presents, we received our toasting flutes & our cake cutter/server from family members. I received some heart measuring cups from a co-worker & we received a couple cards, but that's about it. I wouldn't expect anything. 

    We are registered at pottery barn, but only for a couple things that we didn't like at other places or that we could only find at PB. People will buy what they can afford. Just make sure you have a wide price range with your items. Macy's will actually do this gift/price range thing based on the  number of your guests. It will tell you an average number of gifts you should have in each price range (under $50, $50-100, etc).
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