What is the Appropriate Gift to Give?

Knottie_22383068

My husband and I are both attendants in a same sex marriage.  The Bride selected the bridesmaid’s gowns, ordered them and shipped them to us.  We never had a choice or were we measured by the store.  As a result we all received ugly dresses + $225.00 bill + we need extensive alterations which cost upwards of $150.00 because the bride felt bigger is always better.  These dresses can’t even be used as costumes afterwards let alone ever be worn again.

My Husband needs to rent a tux – his rental fee $140.00

The wedding itself is on Monday requiring us both to take days off work.

The wedding and the reception are in 2 separate states.  Wedding in NYC, reception in NJ.  The bride included a note in the invite for a small fee of $15 each we can take a bus to the church and back to the reception.  Please have exact change. 

Seriously with the clothes, time off, travel expenses etc… my costs are close to $1,000 before even giving her a gift.   I don’t want to seem cheap, but I also don’t want to take on such huge debt for such a selfish bride who has done nothing to make this easy for those sharing in this day. 

Reception is an Italian Buffet in an Airport Hotel.

Suggestions please ….

carazaysassystuff

My husband and I are both attendants in a same sex marriage.  The Bride selected the bridesmaid’s gowns, ordered them and shipped them to us.  We never had a choice or were we measured by the store.  As a result we all received ugly dresses + $225.00 bill + we need extensive alterations which cost upwards of $150.00 because the bride felt bigger is always better.  These dresses can’t even be used as costumes afterwards let alone ever be worn again.

My Husband needs to rent a tux – his rental fee $140.00

The wedding itself is on Monday requiring us both to take days off work.

The wedding and the reception are in 2 separate states.  Wedding in NYC, reception in NJ.  The bride included a note in the invite for a small fee of $15 each we can take a bus to the church and back to the reception.  Please have exact change. 

Seriously with the clothes, time off, travel expenses etc… my costs are close to $1,000 before even giving her a gift.   I don’t want to seem cheap, but I also don’t want to take on such huge debt for such a selfish bride who has done nothing to make this easy for those sharing in this day. 

Reception is an Italian Buffet in an Airport Hotel.

Suggestions please ….

s-aries8990

Regardless of the sex of the couple, this bride and her partner seem rude for not taking their attendants into consideration. I'd say give a card with well wishes if you'd like, but gifts are ALWAYS optional and up to your discretion

Simply Fated

It's appropriate to give what you can afford. After all the other expenses, this couple should not be surprised if they receive less than what's usual in their circle. A nice a card and perhaps something on the lesser amount scale of their registry? Maybe a 2550 gift card to the store? Gifts are never mandatory, either way.