Registry Info

npremate

My fiance and I are getting married in September and it is only family and VERY close friends.  We did a traditional registry and opened a bank account at my bank for guests to make deposits for our honeymoon. My MoH is planning my shower for July.  There are some people who won't be attending both events, just one or the other.  What I need to know is, is it tacky to put registry information/account information in the invitation for the actual day??  Help, Please!  I'm in a pickle! 

teachermegs

Please do not put any registry info on the wedding invite. If you have a website you can post where you are registered there and if people ask you can tell them.

Why did you decide to open an account?

npremate

I work for a financial institution and after researching honeymoon registries, it was more cost effective for us to do so. 

I haven't put the registry info ON the invitation, its a stuffer for the envelope....should I still NOT put them in?

CassieeK

You shouldn't include gift-giving info in with the invitation in any way.

SirJuliusVonHaast

Definitely don't put them in. People will find out via word of mouth and your website. 

And if you haven't already spread information about the bank account, I would not do that. People who wish to do so will bring cash or checks to the wedding (in cards) as your gift. It comes off as very greedy to open an account. 

SirJuliusVonHaast

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-info-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:82244185-f3e6-4854-85a5-38569abed6bcPost:275b27e9-6957-43c2-b8dd-837bcbaa3340">Registry Info</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are getting married in September and it is only family and VERY close friends.  We did a traditional registry and opened a bank account at my bank for guests to make deposits for our honeymoon. My MoH is planning my shower for July.  There are some people who won't be attending both events, just one or the other.  What I need to know is, is it tacky to put registry information/account information in the invitation for the actual day??  Help, Please!  I'm in a pickle! 
Posted by npremate[/QUOTE]

SirJuliusVonHaast

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-info-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:82244185-f3e6-4854-85a5-38569abed6bcPost:d8f2e431-8b6e-44d9-bd56-676fe45dd0eb">Re: Registry Info</a>:
[QUOTE]I work for a financial institution and after researching honeymoon registries, it was more cost effective for us to do so.  I haven't put the registry info ON the invitation, its a stuffer for the envelope....should I still NOT put them in?
Posted by npremate[/QUOTE]

npremate

thanks for clarification!!  I really wasn't sure what to do!  I've seen registry info in invitations before and was confused!  thanks for your help!

teachermegs

I wouldn't spread the news about the account. Even with a registry, we received more cash than gifts.

SirJuliusVonHaast

You're welcome! A lot of people on these boards have had good luck using one of the Emily Post etiquette books to know what to do for their weddings. Since other people sometimes make mistakes (like putting the registry information in the invitations), it can be hard to know what the rules are. 

jessicabessica

1. Registry info can go in shower invites, but not in or on wedding invites.  

2. You don't need to decide between a honeymoon registry and having guests directly deposit funds into your bank account.  Both are asking for cash.  People will give you cash and checks without being told that it is an acceptable gift, and you can do the extra step of depositing the money yourself.  

3. I can't tell from your first post if all guests invited to the shower are also invited to the wedding.  I get that the shower may have a smaller guest list than the wedding, but the wedding shouldn't have a smaller guest list than the shower.  

npremate

the wedding will be55 people in attendance, and the shower 20 or so....but just a different group of people (ie: church ladies and so forth)

registry stuff is so tricky to deal with.  I find that its been the hardest thing to deal with so far!  We've only done one registry, and its just to upgrade the things we have already (small appliances and linens).  We've been together for 6 years.  I guess we should do another one??   any suggestions??

teachermegs

The people going to the shower, are they invited to the wedding?

We did BBB and Target for upgrade items like sheets, towels, etc. At Target, we did mostly bathroom items and everyday dishes.

We probably got a total of 6 items off of both. Granted I didn't have a shower.

SirJuliusVonHaast

I know people who have registered on REI.com (if you like to camp) or used the amazon.com universal registry for things like fire-proof safes, board games, etc. 

I think it is accepted to register for unconventional things, especially if you have already lived on your own for a while. The only things to avoid are cash and things that would only be used by one person rather than both (for example a curling iron or an iPod). 

SirJuliusVonHaast

Also, if you just have the one small conventional registry, people would probably understand it as a subtle hint that you prefer cash, so don't feel obligated to register for more stuff if you don't really want it. 

npremate

Some of the people are not invited to the wedding, no.  we are keeping it really intimate with family only and 10 close friends...

teachermegs

People that are invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding too.

Milsey32

I used to work at a financial instituation and while it may be 'cost effective' it's still a bit greedy, IMO, to open up an account for this reason. Regardless of having an account, guests will (most likely, depending on who they are) give you cash/check anyway. And I think you've already gotten the point from PPs, but registry info does not go with the invites. Best of luck [: 

marinabreeze

PPs gave great advice.  The only thing I'd add is that if you're having a super-small wedding like this, you should probably decline the shower.  Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower (or any other prewedding party). 

Since the shower, in particular, is specifically a gift-giving party, going along with the shower but not inviting these same people to the wedding sends the message that you want their gifts and money but you don't want them to see you get married and you don't want to shell out the money to feed them.  I'm not saying that this is your intent, but by not inviting shower guests to your actual wedding, that's the message that would inadvertently be sent.

Good luck to you :-).

aegrish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-info-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:82244185-f3e6-4854-85a5-38569abed6bcPost:56028e80-6057-4ce9-a057-71e3fa0fa6a5">Re: Registry Info</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never heard of guests depositing money directly into an account for the bride and groom. It<strong> would make me very uncomfortable to do that.  How would the bride and groom know that I made a deposit so they could thank me?  And I don't think I'd want my account number and routing number floating around out there.</strong>  Wouldn't it be really easy for someone to get hold of the numbers and access the money in the account? Would the expectation be that I, as the guest, would send the bride and groom a card and write in it that I had deposited $X.XX into their account?  Because that wouldn't feel right.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

I totally agree.  If I received any time of bank account information for a bride and groom I would just end up sending a card...empty.  That is terribly greedy and inappropriate. 

futurepivko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-info-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:82244185-f3e6-4854-85a5-38569abed6bcPost:275b27e9-6957-43c2-b8dd-837bcbaa3340">Registry Info</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are getting married in September and it is only family and VERY close friends.  We did a traditional registry and <strong>opened a bank account at my bank for guests to make deposits for our honeymoon.</strong> My MoH is planning my shower for July.  There are some people who won't be attending both events, just one or the other.  What I need to know is, is it tacky to put registry information/account information in the invitation for the actual day??  Help, Please!  I'm in a pickle! 
Posted by npremate[/QUOTE]

wowow...i have heard of people joking to others about doing this, but i have never actually seen someone post that they've done it.

well. as far as your 'tacky' question....i dont think anything else could be tackier then opening a bank account for your guests to deposit money. SO SURE!

lsvensson

Agree with PPs in that the separate account thing makes me a bit uneasy, from a guest's perspective.  If that's the norm where you're from though, go nuts.