Register for a house?

illybean

We currently live together in a small apartment and obvoiusly want to upgrade to a house when we get married. We have most of the things we need and have no where to keep them if people got us things. Has anyone ever used/heard of;

http://www.featherournest.com/index.htm

OR

http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/

Both look really cool but I know looks can be decieving....... HELP?!

mgietler76

There is so much wrong with this that I don't even have the energy to get into it.

ehathewa

Don't register for stuff (or have a very small registry).  People will know to write a check.  You can use that money however you want. 

illybean

Thanks for the comments. I was just looking at a different way to register. And believe me we were not looking at it as a way to make a down payment on our house just giving guests an option to help support us with our next step of our lives together. We have already planned to have a small registry and to avoid showers.

[Deleted User]

I think most people seem to give cash wedding gifts regardless of whether or not you are registered.  It's the easy way out.

Snippylynn

I will say this forever:  In a time when people are still struggling to hold onto their homes, or have already lost their homes, it is BEYOND insensitive to hold out your hand to ask for money to buy a house. 

Just use your common sense people.

megk8oz

DH and I live in a tiny condo, that we bought and furnished with brand new stuff 2 years before the wedding, so we really didn't see the need for typical registry stuff either. We are saving for a house, and everybody knows it.

We chose not to register anywhere, and just said "Oh, well, since our place is small and we've already been there almost 2 years, so we really don't need anything ... but we are saving up to get a house in a few years" whenever anybody asked about registry information. A good 90% of our guests figured out to just give us cash based off of that. So really, you don't need to register at all.

Plus, I know those websites always keeps a small percentage of the money ... personally, I'd rather the couple have the entire $100.00 instead of the $98.25 (Or whatever it would work out to be) of my money, and just write the couple a check, anyway.

naomikb

I had never heard of this and the subject line itself blows my mind.

illybean

OK I get it...no one approves and not a good idea! Was just throwing a thought out there.

And I meant that we had some money saved up so we are able to pay some ourselves.

Thanks for the advice Megk8oz sounds like you are in the same boat and it works/worked for you.

noodle_oo

ARE YOU KIDDING?  If you can't afford the down payment on the house, then you aren't ready to buy one.  Buy your own house yourself, don't ask friends and family to do this for you.  INCREDIBLY RUDE.

NattyGal31

I would use a more "unique" wedding registry before I would use the above. 

That way you can register for "stuff" but in the end, you just cash out and get money, which is what you really want. 

www.uponourstar.com is a site like that, friends who are fixing up a moneypit they bought used it and registered for stuff like paint, cabinets, furniture, etc- so people were ok buying that, but they just cashed out at the end and had cash.  Win/Win! 

Good luck! 

DanielleM01

In reply to the poster above...don't do this either....it's deceiving.  It's simple.  Just do a small registry or none at all and people will get the hint...at least 85-90% of them will.  There might be a few that feel the need to give a boxed gift, and those people definitely won't contribute to a house registry.  Plus, like others have said, they take some amount of your money out in fees.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_register-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:875a1714-7e84-4d21-8c9c-1ba18b674d3cPost:1620b2a1-1178-49a0-be10-d1ee5eeaf728">Re: Register for a house?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would use a more "unique" wedding registry before I would use the above.  That way you can register for "stuff" but in the end, you just cash out and get money, which is what you really want.  <a href="http://www.uponourstar.com" rel="nofollow">www.uponourstar.com</a> is a site like that, friends who are fixing up a moneypit they bought used it and registered for stuff like paint, cabinets, furniture, etc- so people were ok buying that, but they just cashed out at the end and had cash.  Win/Win!  Good luck! 
Posted by NattyGal31[/QUOTE]

<div>Not only rude, but also lying.  Way to go on that one... </div>

jeanna85

Ugh we're planning on just using the cash we get as wedding gifts towards a down payment and indicating that on our thank you cards. Don't solicite people for cash. If you don't say anything and don't set up registries like that you'll get cash anyway so why do something so rude?

MNVegas

Really, people just lie to their guests so they will cough up some cash. Disgusting!  This is why cash registries of any kind are just so wrong.

Galaxy8227

Please don't register for a house.  It's quite tacky and it's just asking for money.  If you just want cash, then don't register and people will get the hint. 

Judith233

I am always amazed at how often these types of questions come up.  PP covered it and it sounds like the OP got the hint.  Hopefully others will read this and not repost the question in a week or so. . .

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_register-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:875a1714-7e84-4d21-8c9c-1ba18b674d3cPost:df847e2a-ed90-456d-acc3-a6331fe33bcc">Re: Register for a house?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am always amazed at how often these types of questions come up.  PP covered it and it sounds like the OP got the hint.  <strong>Hopefully others will read this and not repost the question in a week or so. . .
</strong>Posted by Judith233[/QUOTE]

They will, they always do.

megandjay

This is a terrible idea. Don't do it.

Just don't register and have your family/friends spread by word of mouth that you are saving up to buy a house. Your guests are not stupid, they will get the idea that you prefer money than gifts.

I would be pretty offended if one of my friends asked me to give them money for a house.

waltzingmatilda13

A lot of people these days can't afford to buy their own house and you want them to help pay for yours? Just think about that for a while.

lindsaynewbride10

I think she got the hint from the first 6 posts telling her not to do it. Veteran knotties kill me. Let it go. She got it.

lindsaynewbride10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_register-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:875a1714-7e84-4d21-8c9c-1ba18b674d3cPost:e3759ddb-a2b6-47da-9ce9-9002632ac06e">Re: Register for a house?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for a house? : You really felt the need to post a post scolding us for too many people answering the question?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Yea I did actually- I think vets go trolling for posts which have a lot of replies on it, which usually means some new knottie is getting beat up on, to throw in their two cents. It's true, whether people want to admit it, it's true and it's going to continue because that's how TK vets are.

lindsaynewbride10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_register-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:875a1714-7e84-4d21-8c9c-1ba18b674d3cPost:9d7817d8-330a-40d5-9d09-99c1722fdcb7">Re: Register for a house?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for a house? : Yes, that's exactly how I pick which posts I open up.  I certainly don't post based on whether or not I have an answer that is relevant to the question or anything.  That's how I got all those posts in, just by "trollin for newbies".  My eyes rolled so far back into my head reading that that I almost saw my own brain. Obviously, you don't post on here very much if that's what you honestly believe.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry but that is what I believe. On a lighter note, congrats on quitting smoking.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_register-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:875a1714-7e84-4d21-8c9c-1ba18b674d3cPost:07100bc8-3e5a-459a-8406-299722dd2ff5">Re: Register for a house?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for a house? : I'm sorry but that is what I believe. On a lighter note, congrats on quitting smoking.
Posted by lindsaynewbride10[/QUOTE]

<div>You should probably pay more attention if that's what you believe.  </div>

[Deleted User]

You should register for things that you would like to have.  Even if you have stuff that you already use, this is the time to figure out what you would like to have but for whatever reason decided it wasn't practical at the time to get. 

It is categorically wrong/breach of major ettiquette to ask for money point blank or to expect gifts period.  People who want to give you cash will give it to you, but that is out of the goodness of their heart rather than being obligated to do so.

A house registry for your down payment is a very bad idea.  It gives the wrong impression, and a house is such a major investment it is very important that you and your fi come up with the vast majority of the down payment even if you are getting help.  The reason being is that a house will test your finances in ways an apartment you can't begin to imagine until you actually own one.  So unless you have your entire budget hammered out, with money saved aside to deal with emergencies(which you will have), you shouldn't even consider buying one.

The other thing is whenever you get a loan with zero down or a very small down payment you end up having less negotiating power on a home that you really want and you will end up paying more interest for it in the long run.

You are better off coming up with a few things you and your partner would like to have.  New towels, nice dishes, new cookware set etc, and if you get some cash from your guests then put that towards a down payment in a money market or a cd of some form so it will gather interest.  In your thank you note to those who decide to give you cash, mention that the money is going towards the down payment on a new house.

Anything beyond that goes too far.