most depressing thing ever

aro1589

have any of you found registering for gifts to be pretty depressing? 

we live in a tiny, 1 bedroom apartment and won't be moving anytime soon.  everything we looked at, I thought to myself "this won't fit in the kitchen, we have no place to store this."  I actually got really bummed out Our cupboards are jammed right now, we have to keep small appliances like the toaster and crockpot in the closet.  We don't have any space for the blender or George Foreman that we registered for.  It just really brought me down knowing that we won't be getting a house anytime soon.   

I don't know, weddings are supossed to be a happy time.  It's just hard to get excited when you're broke

okay...end of pity party!

whitneymarie504

I know how you feel actually! I gave up my 3 bedroom apartment (which I did share with a roommate but I still had a full bedroom with a huge walk in closet plus a room for storage) to move with my fiance into his elderly grandfathers home just before we got engaged. He needs additional care and assistance so we chose to help him out, which I am fine with, but we literally have 1 room here and it isn't even completely our own. It's really the computer/storage room so other people do come in to use the computer and the closet has stuff other than just our items in it. I'm actually hoping for more cash than gifts even though I LOVE the stuff we registered for because I won't have the room or be able to use the gifts right now. We've already planned to store all of our wedding gifts at my Mom's in my old bedroom until we have our own place again because I don't want his family using our wedding stuff and perhaps ruining it or wearing it out before we even have a home and we don't have the storage space here.

tkddddddddd

Okay, so you don't have a house right now. We don't either. We're actually living with my parents because FI doesn't have a job. Sucks, and we are at least 10 years out from a house (thanks student loan debt!). Doesn't mean that we didn't register for things we wanted. ESPECIALLY now we don't have the space but at some point we will. Plus, there are plenty of things you'll always need lots of (towels for body, kitchen towels, bedding, cleaning supplies, etc) that are commonplace on registries. You don't need to just register for kitchen stuff - especially if it'll just end up in a closet. Unless your planning on living there hella long term with kids someday...register away!

BmoreBride311

You can try to use it as an opportunity to upgrade/replace stuff. I'm guessing you would be happy with donating a lot of the things that are keeping your cupboards full and filling them with nice new stuff.

We don't have a house yet, either, so we are storing some of our stuff at my FILs house until we have the space. If you don't want to do that, then just register for what you have room for (after donating stuff that is time to replace) and hope that your guests will give you cash.

Mrs.B6302007

I get where you're coming from, I really do.  It's exciting to plan for the future and imagine how you would set up your own house - it's normal.

But, look at things from the other perspective.   Even though you don't have a house of your own, you do have a roof over your head and you're not having to move from place to place to keep that roof.   THere's nothing wrong with registering for things you'll use once you get in a larger place, but don't let the fact that you can't use buy a house right now get you down.  Starting a life together is about being together and making a home, not about the size of your house.

meganb1977

I like the idea of taking the opportunity to upgrade a few things.  Maybe you can use new towels or sheets?  Freshen up your bed with a new comforter set?  Mismatched silverware?  If you and your fiance (and mothers) put your heads together you can surely come up with some ideas.  It might work out well for you to create a small registry for people who absolutely want to give you a boxed gift and then either bank any cash gifts you receive so you have savings to furnish your home once you are able to get a bigger place, or put the cash gifts towards other things you need now.  Chin up and have fun picking out a few nice things :-)

Lang125

I am in the same boat.   We plan to donate quite a bit of stuff (mostly things I got free from family members while in college, or bought at garage sales, etc.) and it's amazing how quickly room can free up.  Our apartment also comes with a storage locker so we will go through that and clean it out and put anything that will have to wait until we have a house in there.   But I am pretty sure we won't get everything on our registry and what we do get - I plan on just organizing and making it work.  
We definitely are itching for a house but with saving for this wedding and our current financial situation, it just wasn't in the cards for this year.  Sometimes I do get down about it as well when I see my friends' houses, or couples that move into a house together and are not getting married but have a gorgeous house.  But then I remember, there is no rush and that it will happen someday when the time (and our finances!) are right.

cwaggoner07

Right now we are sending our gifts to my parent's house... which has 3 completely empty bedrooms thanks to Empty Nest Syndrome. We are in a tiny hole of a one bedroom apartment, with even no pantry in the kitchen.
We are planning on moving a month after we get married, but when we contemplated staying there another year, it was terrifying.

kaos16

We are living with FI's mom until we can buy a house as well.  A lot of what we registered for will end up in our storage unit for a while, unfortunately.

On the bright side, when we do get our house it will be like Christmas opening and using all of the items off our registry

rlavach

We have a 1BR apartment too & not a lot of room for appliances either. In my opinion, you shouldn’t register for things you aren’t going to use right now (except china, that’s different). But appliances & stuff always have newer models coming out. So the idea of getting one now & then saving it for when you can use it 5y later seems silly. By then it may be obsolete.

 

I think it’s best to go through the things you have now & see what useless stuff you can get rid of. Then the stuff you need, register for a better version of it. If there’s something you really really want but can’t fit, then register & store it in a closet or at a family members home, like PP suggested. Hey, you may not get it off your registry anyway, so you might be worrying for nothing. 

aragx6

I know so many people who own houses or condos that they are underwater on that I can't regret not owning anything and you shouldn't either. It will happen when you're ready! Until then, don't be afraid to register for other things you need, things that will make your apartment feel more homey without taking up a lot of space -- think of things like art or throw pillows.

pkontk

We have a 1 BR as well.  All of our plates, cups and silverware are mismatched hand-me-downs from various friends and family members, so we are taking this opportunity to upgrade to nicer, matching items.

aro1589

thanks guys! 

We did register for some things we don't have room for but you're right - we can store it.  Like one of you mentioned, it is just very frustrating to see other people my age getting houses and knowing that because my student loans (like tkdddddd), I'm about 10 years away from owning a home. 

We got a lot of freebies from my mom when we moved in to the apartment that we need to upgrade (dishes, silverware, glassware) and we could use a new sheet set.  So, there are some things we have room for

divinemsbee

I'm getting rid of at least half of what's in our kitchen if we get the stuff that's on our registry. Out go the old plates, flatware, glasses (wine and regular), half of the cheap kitchen utensils, all of the cookie sheets, most of the bakeware, all of the old tupperware, all of our small appliances (all bought at Walmart for $8 a piece). Once all of that's gone, there will be plenty of room for new things. Ditto to sheets and towels. We won't be buying a house for at least another 5 years (FI is in the military and we don't want to have to put up with selling something quickly or renting it out). I don't know if this is an option for OP, but there are many options between tiny one bedroom apartment and purchasing a home. I wouldn't buy anywhere I wasn't going to live for at least 5, possibly 10 years. 

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_most-depressing-thing-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:8b5e0122-29b1-436d-b6e4-ec84e47db2e5Post:609abdd5-f07f-4764-9a29-ec96ea85e270">Re: most depressing thing ever</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting rid of at least half of what's in our kitchen if we get the stuff that's on our registry. Out go the old plates, flatware, glasses (wine and regular), half of the cheap kitchen utensils, all of the cookie sheets, most of the bakeware, all of the old tupperware, all of our small appliances (all bought at Walmart for $8 a piece). Once all of that's gone, there will be plenty of room for new things. Ditto to sheets and towels. We won't be buying a house for at least another 5 years (FI is in the military and we don't want to have to put up with selling something quickly or renting it out). I don't know if this is an option for OP, but there are many options between tiny one bedroom apartment and purchasing a home.<strong> I wouldn't buy anywhere I wasn't going to live for at least 5, possibly 10 years. 
</strong>Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

I heartily agree with that advice!

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_most-depressing-thing-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8b5e0122-29b1-436d-b6e4-ec84e47db2e5Post:dd27353d-63fe-4e27-8dc1-a31e8e905011">Re: most depressing thing ever</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want to have to move at all when we buy but I don't know how realistic that is.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>In my heart of hearts, I'm the same way. I come from a family of people who rarely if every move. My dad's still in the house I grew up in, my mom moved out after the divorce and didn't move again until over 10 years later when she moved with her husband, my grandmother has lived in her house for almost 40 years, my grandfather still lives on land that's been in the family forever. I really want to find a house in several years that's in a town we want to live in for as long as we can. </div>

mrskristinyc

We live in a tiny 318 sq ft NYC apartment. We registered for a few upgrades, but we're hoping people will mostly give us cash so we can move to a bigger place (in NYC, you pretty much need $4000 in deposits to move to a 1 bedroom apt...).

ccasey621

Yeah, I hear ya... our wedding ate up our down payment since we paid for our wedding ourselves.  Sometimes I wish I had skipped the wedding and bought a house, but it is what it is.  I'm happy I'll have my shower/wedding to share with the people I'm closest to.  I have the rest of my life to make money and buy a house.  This is something you (hopefully) only get to do once.