is it ok for the bride to ask for gifts to be used at the actual wedding for her bridal shower?

ClarkClydeMaidofHonor

My sister and her fiancé will be asking for money towards their honeymoon as wedding gifts.  For the bridal shower, my sister would like to set up a registry that mostly includes items that are actually for the wedding ceremony and reception since she and her fiancé are paying for the entire wedding themselves.  For example, she plans to ask for items like the cake topper, toasting flutes, etc.  Is this appropriate?

  

Thanks in advance,

 

Maid of Honor and sister of the bride

ShakeUpTampa

I say no. This is due to the fact that no gifts should be used prior to the wedding. If they can't afford those things perhaps they should go without. On the other hand if someone gifts that but they did NOT register for it and it is clearly something that can be used at the wedding. Then I guess it could be done.

krizzo17

I'd say skip it because it's iffy, but if all of the bridesmaids know this, and you girls were going to get her a shower present anyway, why don't you make up a gift basket of those things that she wants for the wedding? That way she'll get them, and none of the guests will find this offensive (if it even is...I'm not sure how this works).

Simply Fated

I'd be weirded by things that could only be used for the wedding, like a cake topper. But I guess I wouldn't mind champagne glasses since technically they wouldn't be used before the wedding at all and you could still get use out of them afterwards.

soozy87

I have seen someone get a cake cutting set at a shower, but I am not sure if she registered for it or not. (It was her mother who gave it to her). I think the wedding stuff is better than the honeymoon registry....but that is just me!

RanwaP

Without asking or registering for any of this at my shower I received:

Cake Topper

Cake Serving Set

Champagne Flutes

Guestbook+Pen

Pretty Card Holder

Big photo of us to display

I know I appreacited the gifts and it was nice that when someone complimented one of these items I could say "it was a gift from ________".  I think it would innapropriate for the bride to set up thi, but I think it would be a super cute idea for her bridesmaids to secretly set this up and surprise her. 

The only think to keep in mind is how picky she is about this kinda stuff.  Neither of us were crazy about the cake topper, but since it meant so much to the person who gave it to us, we used it anyway.  

MNVegas

I think cake cutter and champagne flutes are ok because they are both items that they can use after the wedding. Since the cake topper is a one time only use item, I would think that is a weird request. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ok-bride-ask-gifts-used-actual-wedding-her-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:9a120b9f-2adf-44ba-9bd7-4bd447ece4bcPost:735bd913-60c1-48d1-bb46-037067470871">is it ok for the bride to ask for gifts to be used at the actual wedding for her bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister and her fiancé will be asking for money towards their honeymoon as wedding gifts.   For the bridal shower, my sister would like to set up a registry that mostly includes items that are actually for the wedding ceremony and reception since she and her fiancé are paying for the entire wedding themselves.   For example, she plans to ask for items like the cake topper, toasting flutes, etc.   Is this appropriate?     Thanks in advance,   Maid of Honor and sister of the bride
Posted by ClarkClydeMaidofHonor[/QUOTE]

What your sister and her FI is doing is just rude but that's not your problem.  Because she is doing this though, she should decline any offers for showers.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ok-bride-ask-gifts-used-actual-wedding-her-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:9a120b9f-2adf-44ba-9bd7-4bd447ece4bcPost:01b0448e-4a28-4a53-b54b-b3318969283f">Re: is it ok for the bride to ask for gifts to be used at the actual wedding for her bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think cake cutter and champagne flutes are ok because they are both items that they can use after the wedding. Since the cake topper is a one time only use item, I would think that is a weird request. 
Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  I asked for both and received both at my shower.  I didn't ask for anything else wedding-related though.  I could also possibly see registering for one of those large frames with the big mat for people to sign since that would hang in your house after the wedding.  Might be a stretch though. 

If you would like to get these things for her then fine.  Or if the bridesmaids all know and understand what she wants, etc then fine.  I was particular about stuff like the guest book (made a photobook) and the cake toppers so I wouldn't have wanted them for the shower.

meganb1977

Ditto Ranwa.  I think those types of items are cute as shower gifts and might be thought of by guests without the bride needing to register for them.

AurorasEnvy

Outright asking for cash is always kind of tacky....there are better ways to go about it than to directly ask.

As for the registry - if their budget is really that tight that they need to register for things for the wedding, then skip most of those things (cake topper, flutes, etc.) that you really don't need.  Personally, it kind of weirds me out.  I've never been to a shower where the bride received stuff for the wedding.  It's almost like asking your guests to pay for your wedding, indirectly....

I wouldn't do it, personally.

hoffse

Toasting flutes and cake cutting sets don't bother me if they match the other stuff the bride is registering for - like if they match her crystal and her formal flatware.  If they don't match they will probably never be used again, like retread said.

We're not registering for ours because it seems weird to us - but we're going to get two toasting flutes that match my crystal (lismore) and we're getting a cake cutting set that matches my formal flatware (lenox pearl platinum).  If the company that makes her flatware DOESN'T make a cake cutting set to match (this is quite common), check out replacements.com.  They make those pieces for you from the pattern that matches, and it's not particularly expensive.  I feel like those are the best odds of the pieces getting used again for when you have company come over or a nice anniversary dinner at home.

Cake toppers?  Personally I hate them - I would prefer flowers or something topping the cake - and they really are a one-time use thing.  If she wants a cake-topper get something that she can display as art, like PP said.  I don't think it's appropriate to register for, however, because there's really no possibility it will get used after the wedding day, unlike toasting flutes and cake sets which may get used if you buy the right kind...

krizzo17

In Response to Re: is it ok for the bride to ask for gifts to be used at the actual wedding for her bridal shower?:
[QUOTE check out replacements.com.  They make those pieces for you from the pattern that matches, and it's not particularly expensive. 
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

Thank you thank you thank you!

awarm014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_ok-bride-ask-gifts-used-actual-wedding-her-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:9a120b9f-2adf-44ba-9bd7-4bd447ece4bcPost:bc7e4d70-8944-4641-b8e6-606a77da12b9">Re: is it ok for the bride to ask for gifts to be used at the actual wedding for her bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd say skip it because it's iffy, but if all of the bridesmaids know this, and you girls were going to get her a shower present anyway, why don't you make up a gift basket of those things that she wants for the wedding? That way she'll get them, and none of the guests will find this offensive (if it even is...I'm not sure how this works).
Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]
This was apparently traditional in my mother's time.When I started buying this stuff, my mom said to me that bridesmaids usually get this stuff.

kennazebrowsky

i know someone who asked for bottles of liquor to use at their reception as gifts. it was not well recieved.