Wedding Gift Rules

rsanna

This is not an issue for me at all and won't even cross my mind for at least a year from now (if ever).  But I was curious.  I know the general guideline/rule is that if you receive a wedding present that you shouldn't use the wedding present until after the wedding.  I am just wondering, why is that?  Where does that come from?

Is it just in case something happens between receiving the gift and the wedding, that you would then need to return the gift to the giver?  I understand that, but I don't know if that is the only reason.

My only thought for this then would be, well what happens if you get divorced like 3 months after the wedding, would you still need to return the gift?

Like I said, I don't intend to do this and I don't think this will even be an issue.  But I was just curious as to the origins of this particular rule.  Thanks

LeiselEB

If you get divorced soon after the wedding, you don't need to return the gifts since they were wedding presents and a wedding/marriage took place. But most people would probably return them anyway depending on the length of the marriage. 

I think that the reason you aren't supposed to use gifts until after the wedding is because they are wedding gifts - they're for you to start your married life with your new spouse, and shouldn't be used until that married life begins. 

ceh789

Traditionally, if a marrage ends within a year, gifts are returned with a note of explaination.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_wedding-gift-rules?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a3e34fb6-a1f0-490d-8c1f-7d15760fbad9Post:273f2d92-6c2a-4305-b0dd-c5e8c1d9026c">Re: Wedding Gift Rules</a>:
[QUOTE]Traditionally, if a marrage ends within a year, gifts are returned with a note of explaination.
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm not sure where you are getting this from.   After Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage, all of the etiquette experts weighed in on this exact issue.   They concluded that gifts do not need to be returned if the wedding took place, no matter how short the marriage.  It's certainly a good thing to do if the gifts haven't been used yet, but there is no reason to return (or replace) a used set of sheets, omelet pan, or stand mixer. Nobody wants that.    </div><div>
</div><div>Kim K. returned some of the gifts, kept some (presumably what had been used), and sent a note to everyone who gave them gifts that she was making a (very large) charitable donation in their name.   I think this is above and beyond, but if you can afford it, then it's a nice thing to do.  </div>

AllisonW423

FI is bugging me about this same question. He says that there is no question in his mind that we are getting married (yay, haha!) and so there's no reason not to use them. I'm keeping my foot down, but if anyone can add some additional ammo to the side of "not using" prior to the actual ceremony, I'd be happy to hear it!

misshart00

This sounds really stupid, but I didn't use any of mine until after the wedding because there is something fun about getting to use all your new stuff at once, like if you're making a meal and get to use your new mixer and pans and cookie sheets all at once. Or hanging up your shower curtain and putting out your pretty new towels together. It just made me smile doing it all at once.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_wedding-gift-rules?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a3e34fb6-a1f0-490d-8c1f-7d15760fbad9Post:be914380-b084-4021-a651-9627575a8f7c">Re: Wedding Gift Rules</a>:
[QUOTE]FI is bugging me about this same question. He says that there is no question in his mind that we are getting married (yay, haha!) and so there's no reason not to use them. I'm keeping my foot down, but if anyone can add some additional ammo to the side of "not using" prior to the actual ceremony, I'd be happy to hear it!
Posted by AllisonW423[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I didn't have any doubt in my mind either, but I guess I'm just really superstitious -- like if we used anything, then someone would happen that would cause us to cancel the wedding (death in the family, serious injury of one of us, hurricane/tornado/flood/freak snowstorm, etc).

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