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Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?

Getting married next October.  Of course my mother wants to throw a shower.  We are 33 & 43 respectively, own our home, and if we need anything we go out and buy it.  So registering seems silly.  I would be ok to register for things that we could use refreshers of like sheets or towels because my mother insists that I register.  But my fiancee is totally adamant that he does not want to register. . . period. End of story. Done!

Here's where the title comes in. . . can we just register for wine?  We sure do drink a lot of it. (Not kidding, has anyone done this?)  Or what about a honeymoon registry?  Or do we have to register for actual stuff (or risk getting Chia Pets from crazy aunts)?

Help!

Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?

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    Honeymoon Registries are cash registries in disguise and one of the rudest things you can do.  DH and I combined two well established households when we moved in together, made some nice donations and still made a small upgrade registry.  Our guests took the hint and gave cash - we still had registry items left.  I don't know how you would register for wine and honestly, as a guest, I wouldn't buy this as a gift for a wedding.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    Def no on the honeymoon registry, it's like asking for cash.  As for the wine, what if you had a wine themed shower where the invitation asked each guest to bring their favorite bottle of wine?  I don't know what the etiquette goddesses on here will say but personally I'd have no problem being a guest at a shower like that.  It would make gift shopping very easy!
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited October 2012
    Can you summon up the strength to politely decline the shower?

    "Mom, I so appreciate your offer to host a shower for me. However, FI & I have all of the physical things we could possibly need and are not planning to create a registry. Could we have a brunch or afternoon tea instead with Aunt Sally, Aunt Marge, Grandma, etc?"
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    Nix any type of cash/gift card registry.

    I don't usually care for theme showers so much, but I wouldn't mind attending a 'stock the bar' shower. Don't register for wine, though. Guests can be encouraged to bring their favorite wine as a gift. For those that want to buy something non-consumable, create a registry for things like glasses, openers, coasters, ice bucket, cheese board etc...

    Those crazy aunts are going to give you chia pets, whether you have a registry or not, so clear a shelf.
                       
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_help-cant-i-just-register-for-wine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a5725d40-6351-45d4-b7d2-4f58dce119f5Post:9fd4e861-b7c4-4482-8bb1-ac2fcccdbf6b">Re:Help... Can't I Just Register for Wine?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can certainly understand the 'if we need anything, we can go out and buy it ourselves' attitude. <strong>However, I think in addition to home goods that attitude should be extended to also include booze and vacations.</strong> If you don't want to register, then don't. But don't do a honeymoon registry and DEFINITELY don't register for wine. You can have a shower without having a registry, you'll just have to be prepared to graciously receive gifts that my align more with the taste of the giver than your own. Or those close to you might surprise you and bring a bottle of wine because they know you, and know that's what you'd like.
    Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

    I agree with the bolded. It sounds like you are just trying to come up with something to register for, so I don't think you have this attitude, but I have known brides to say, "We have everything we need, so buy us a vacation instead." Well if you have everything you need, why can't you buy your own vacation, KWIM?

    I agree with politely declining the shower. Or if you can find enough "upgrades" or new items to register for, then sure go ahead with it, but skip the HM registry.


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    Vacation
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    You can create a wine registry through Williams Sonoma, but just know that they only ship to certain states so you will need to check.  It has to do with state liquor laws.

    That said, I ditto PPs that you should just decline.  Or you could do a stock the bar shower.  While I don't normally go for themed showers, this one isn't a burden on any of your guests (unless they are underaged).
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_help-cant-i-just-register-for-wine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a5725d40-6351-45d4-b7d2-4f58dce119f5Post:65b38899-755a-403d-99c4-eff47064cd89">Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Def no on the honeymoon registry, it's like asking for cash.  As for the wine, what if you had a wine themed shower where the invitation asked each guest to bring their favorite bottle of wine?  I don't know what the etiquette goddesses on here will say but personally I'd have no problem being a guest at a shower like that.  It would make gift shopping very easy!
    Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]

    <div>I like this idea.  People do recipe showers all the time.  (Guests bring a favorite recipe instead of a gift, hostess makes you a book with them.)  You could ask your mom if she'd be willing to do a wine party instead of a shower and ask everyone to bring a favorite bottle of wine.  I also like the idea of asking mom if she'd do a brunch/lunch instead so that you can have the get together without the gifts.</div><div>
    </div><div>Regardless, I would do a small registry with just a few upgrades and replacements for the people that really want to give you a home good.  Even if you have them, you're going to eventually need things like more towels and sheets.  </div>
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    Ok, so to nix any confusion, I wouldn't actually register for wine. Just ask people to bring a bottle that reminds them of us. Or is special to them or something. Didn't know honeymoon registries were so taboo...
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    I stopped reading comments so I don't know if this was repeated or not yet but my 2 cents:

    I farking love this idea! As a self professed wine-o I can't think of receiving a better gift than a delicious bottle of wine.

    As a guest, if I saw this on a registry I would 100% pick that as the gift I would give.
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    Amen Sista!!!
     
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_help-cant-i-just-register-for-wine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a5725d40-6351-45d4-b7d2-4f58dce119f5Post:ec0236e5-3a80-4828-a58f-e0fee0007c55">Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I stopped reading comments so I don't know if this was repeated or not yet but my 2 cents: I farking love this idea! As a self professed wine-o I can't think of receiving a better gift than a delicious bottle of wine. As a guest, if I saw this on a registry I would 100% pick that as the gift I would give.
    Posted by souptin[/QUOTE]

    I think we are having people bring us bottles.  Spent some time on the boards last night (up until way too late) and with all of the snarkiness out there, it's made me realize one thing. . . I'm going to do whatever the hell I want with my registry!  And that includes telling peeps to bring wine!  And maybe dog treats. . . they would actually expect it from me!  Beyond my fiancee, my dogs and my wine are the loves of my life!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_help-cant-i-just-register-for-wine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a5725d40-6351-45d4-b7d2-4f58dce119f5Post:d9336195-5582-41c1-900d-7c0959a2b044">Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Amen Sista!!!   In Response to Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine? : I think we are having people bring us bottles.  Spent some time on the boards last night (up until way too late) and with all of the snarkiness out there, it's made me realize one thing. . . I'm going to do whatever the hell I want with my registry!  And that includes telling peeps to bring wine!  And maybe dog treats. . . they would actually expect it from me!  Beyond my fiancee, my dogs and my wine are the loves of my life!
    Posted by ulibaddog[/QUOTE]

    Just a thought. . . . perhaps it would be less abrasive if you made a small registry for "traditional" registry items, then let your mom or bridal party spread the word that you are saving up for a vacation or trying to expand your wine cellar.

    I do, however, like the idea of the wine themed shower too.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_help-cant-i-just-register-for-wine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a5725d40-6351-45d4-b7d2-4f58dce119f5Post:d8c860b2-7cbc-4076-93d6-97a42fc37199">Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help. . . Can't I Just Register for Wine? : Just a thought. . . . perhaps it would be less abrasive if you made a small registry for "traditional" registry items, then let your mom or bridal party spread the word that you are saving up for a vacation or trying to expand your wine cellar. I do, however, like the idea of the wine themed shower too.
    Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

    This would be the best option.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    We're registered for wine via Williams Sonoma. There are also places near our home-to-be that let you register for wine. I think that wine is a cute and fun theme for a shower, and most people would be happy to do that if they knew that was what you really wanted.
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    If there is a wine store near you, sure.  It might work better if the store has a website and accepts online orders so it's easy for guests who don't live nearby to buy something from the registry.
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    shanliannshanliann member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited October 2012
    I went to  a wine shower a couple weeks ago and it was a blast!! it was sort of like a "wine tasting shower" each guest was asked to bring there favorite bottle or a local bottle to there area and then they had a table set up and we pretty much got to sample everyones bottles! It was so much fun! Then the host made all kinds of fn appitizers and desserts to go with the wines. It was like we all went to a wine tasting at a winery, except so much more fun and relaxed!
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    If you don't want a registery, just say so. You're an adult. Miss Manners hates registeries anyway.
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