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Don't know what to put on our registry.

PandabaraPandabara
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiance and I are moving into our first apartment together (straight out of our parents' houses) in a short while. Our wedding is in four months. We have some stuff that our parents have bought for us ahead of time, but there are things that we will need some stuff as soon as we move in. This immediate stuff we don't want to put on our wedding registries because we won't need two of them. Now, though, since we will need a lot of this stuff right away (or we already have a lot of stuff that normally goes on registries), we aren't sure what we can put on our registry. We are expecting about 75 guests and only have about 35 unique items on our registry (about 45 items with doubles, such as multiple place settings). How many registry items should we have total? We are accepting gift cards as well, and they are shown on our registries. Also is it allowed to ask for gifts of cash, since that is what we could use? What kinds of things should we include on our registries?
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Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.

  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:9ecafea6-1a38-4711-afc8-112b7de4fc37">Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are moving into our first apartment together (straight out of our parents' houses) in a short while. Our wedding is in four months. We have some stuff that our parents have bought for us ahead of time, but there are things that we will need some stuff as soon as we move in. This immediate stuff we don't want to put on our wedding registries because we won't need two of them. Now, though, since we will need a lot of this stuff right away (or we already have a lot of stuff that normally goes on registries), we aren't sure what we can put on our registry. We are expecting about 75 guests and only have about 35 unique items on our registry (about 45 items with doubles, such as multiple place settings). How many registry items should we have total? We are accepting gift cards as well, and they are shown on our registries. Also is it allowed to ask for gifts of cash, since that is what we could use? What kinds of things should we include on our registries?
    Posted by Pandabara[/QUOTE]


    First things first.  Take the gift cards off  your registry.  That is as rude as asking for cash outright.

    Next, go through your place and write down what you still need.  Once you have that list, mark off what you will be buying for yourselves before you move in to your apartment.  Make sure that you have a nice set of pots and pans on your registry.  A good set will last a lifetime.  Stocking the kitchen is always at the top of my list.  Ask for a couple of sets of nice sheets also.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Did you look thru the sticky "ultimate wedding registry checklist" at the top of this board? There are lots of ideas on there. 

    It is considered rude to ask for cash/gift cards. If you keep your registry on the small side then people will get the hint that cash is welcomed. Also if someone asks you, just say you are registerd at store x but also saving for x.
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
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  • frantastic12frantastic12 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:9ecafea6-1a38-4711-afc8-112b7de4fc37">Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are moving into our first apartment together (straight out of our parents' houses) in a short while. Our wedding is in four months. We have some stuff that our parents have bought for us ahead of time, but there are things that we will need some stuff as soon as we move in. This immediate stuff we don't want to put on our wedding registries because we won't need two of them. Now, though, since we will need a lot of this stuff right away (or we already have a lot of stuff that normally goes on registries), we aren't sure what we can put on our registry. We are expecting about 75 guests and only have about 35 unique items on our registry (about 45 items with doubles, such as multiple place settings). How many registry items should we have total? We are accepting gift cards as well, and they are shown on our registries. <strong>Also is it allowed to ask for gifts of cash, since that is what we could use?</strong> What kinds of things should we include on our registries?
    Posted by Pandabara[/QUOTE]

    No, requesting cash is <strong>never</strong> OK.  This is a question that is brought up quite frequently and is never well-received. 

    If you prefer cash, it's best to create a small registry, which it sounds like you've done.  People will most likely give cash or gift cards once they see  all of your registry items have been purchased. 

    When you move in, write down things that you can do without in the short term (until the wedding), but will eventually need/want. 
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  • arunkumararunkumar
    First Comment
    The best way to let guests know that you prefer cash is to have a small registry. I would keep your registry at it is.
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:50ff36d4-d97a-4595-bf5f-61266ea5330a">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did you look thru the sticky <strong>"ultimate wedding registry checklist"</strong> at the top of this board? There are lots of ideas on there.  It is considered rude to ask for cash/gift cards. If you keep your registry on the small side then people will get the hint that cash is welcomed. Also if someone asks you, just say you are registerd at store x but also saving for x.
    Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

    This was very helpful for us. We printed the list and then one day on a long road trip we went through every item and crossed off what we didn't need.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I find it really hard to believe that you can only think of 35 things for your first place on your own.  Unless your parents are going out and buying you everything, you are going to need a ton.  

    To start with, get just a few plates, glasses, pots & pans, small appliances, etc.  You might need a coffee maker right away, but you can probably wait for a mixer, blender, etc.  Likewise, you can get away with one pot and pan for a few months and then register for the rest of the set.  You can probably get away with 4 place settings, minimal utensils, etc.  

    In the bedroom, get one set of sheets.  Register for two more.  Buy 2-4 towels, and then register for 8 more.  Use an old cup to hold toothbrushes, etc and register for the set you want. 
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    To the folks who mentioned the no no about gift cards.....don't most registries default it as an option at the bottom?  I think most of the registries I've bought off of have had the gift card option at the very end. 

    ETA: And I didn't find the gift card option tacky.  Isn't it kind of on par with saying you want the KitchenAid Artison 5 Quart 325 Watt Stand Mixer.  In red please.  :D
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  • dzturtleshelldzturtleshell
    First Comment
    In my culture, it is traditional to expect/give cash as a wedding gift. Everyone understands that you are starting a new life and will be needing all sorts of things. Anyone that thinks it's rude will simply not give you cash, right?
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:be109681-baf5-4371-a76c-e85297c61bcc">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]To the folks who mentioned the no no about gift cards.....don't most registries default it as an option at the bottom?  I think most of the registries I've bought off of have had the gift card option at the very end.  ETA: And I didn't find the gift card option tacky.  Isn't it kind of on par with saying you want the KitchenAid Artison 5 Quart 325 Watt Stand Mixer.  In red please.  :D
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>The companies give you cards to put in your invitations, too.  That doesn't make it ok.  You just mark it off.</div><div>
    </div><div>It's rude (not so much tacky) to ask for gift cards because it's the same as asking for cash.  The point of a registry is to give ideas for people that prefer to give a physical gift.</div>
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:3045d014-31f2-4c24-8749-33c15a6967f7">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't know what to put on our registry. : <strong>The companies give you cards to put in your invitations, too.  That doesn't make it ok.</strong>  You just mark it off. It's rude (not so much tacky) to ask for gift cards because it's the same as asking for cash.  <strong>The point of a registry is to give ideas for people that prefer to give a physical gift.
    </strong>Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    You're not giving them ideas.  You're giving them specifics.  The item you put on the registry is the item you want.  You don't want any old mixer or towel set....you want the one you picked out. 

    And I've always received registry cards with the shower invitations.  How else do you notify the invited shower guests where you're registered?
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:7df991e1-eba1-4805-bbd9-eef9430f5751">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't know what to put on our registry. : You're not giving them ideas.  You're giving them specifics.  The item you put on the registry is the item you want.  You don't want any old mixer or towel set....you want the one you picked out.  And I've always received registry cards with the shower invitations.  How else do you notify the invited shower guests where you're registered?
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>People find out by word of mouth where the registries are.  In some circles, those cards are acceptable in shower invitations (not wedding) but most prefer that either there be no mention of the registry or that the host actually write the name of the store on the invitation rather than include the flyers.  </div><div>
    </div><div>A registry is a list of suggestions.  It is not asking for gifts and it is not a list of demands.  If a couple put one mixer on the registry but got another, they should gratiously accept.  They don't return it to the gifter and tell them they got the wrong thing.  </div>
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:cd3c383f-8a1f-403b-a779-12dc1d282731">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't know what to put on our registry. : <strong>People find out by word of mouth where the registries are.</strong>  In some circles, those cards are acceptable in shower invitations (not wedding) but most prefer that either there be no mention of the registry or that the host actually write the name of the store on the invitation <strong>rather than include the flyers.</strong>   <strong>A registry is a list of suggestions.</strong>  It is not asking for gifts and it is not a list of demands.  If a couple put one mixer on the registry but got another, they should gratiously accept.  <strong>They don't return it to the gifter and tell them they got the wrong thing.  
    </strong>Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Perhaps it's a regional thing.  In the NY area, registry cards are acceptable in shower invitations.  If I am hosting a shower, I sure as heck do not want to field calls from guests asking where the bride is registered.  And as a guest, I don't want to be calling around.  It's a shower, registries are expected, put the info in with shower invitation.  Oh, and it's not a flyer.  It's a small business like card. 

    Also, I would NEVER use a registry for a wedding gift.  It's customary in NJ to give cash.  So I am just referring to the shower.

    No, the person is not going to return it to the gifter.  They are going to be stuck with an item that they didn't want (perhaps it doesn't fit their color scheme or have the function that they wanted) and they probably can't return because it wasn't purchased from the registry. 

    Also, if someone purchases one of these suggested items, albeit a different model/version, the store often cannot mark it as bought.  So if it's just a suggestion, the recipient might end up with FOUR blenders!  That doesn't make sense.  And please don't suggest that the guest call the bride and have her manually take it off.

    If someone puts the time in to research the dinnerware (or whatever it is) that they like best and fits their needs, don't go buy them a different version of it. 

    ETA: MyNameIsNot - As you saw not too far below, a clear example of this is the poster who got a different vacuum from her grandmother that doesn't fit her needs.  And you recommended she exchange it and not tell anyone.  This is why a registry is not a suggestion.

    Just my opinion.  Moving on.  :D
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  • frantastic12frantastic12 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:c7ffdfba-fd82-49b2-9b34-ac84b10a561f">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't know what to put on our registry. : ETA: MyNameIsNot - As you saw not too far below, a clear example of this is the poster who got a different vacuum from her grandmother that doesn't fit her needs.  <strong>And you recommended she exchange it and not tell anyone.</strong>  This is why a registry is not a suggestion. Just my opinion.  Moving on.  :D
    Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

    Returning it and not telling anyone (previous thread) is not the same as returning it to the gift to the giver and telling them they got the wrong thing (MyNameIsNot's post on this thread).
    image
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  • MrsMeganL2012MrsMeganL2012
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:2cde7ca3-d3c4-4098-b57e-2147f62a2f36">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't know what to put on our registry. : Returning it and not telling anyone (previous thread) is not the same as returning it to the gift to the giver and telling them they got the wrong thing (MyNameIsNot's post on this thread).
    Posted by 2012jmr[/QUOTE]

    2012jmr - I never said it was the same thing.  With all due respect, did you read the sentence that followed that quote?  Here it is:

    "And you recommended she exchange it and not tell anyone.  <strong>This is why a registry is not a suggestion</strong>."

    The poster above said a registry is a suggestion.  This was a clear cut reason why it's not.  Do you really want to have to go back to the store to exchange all kinds of items? 

    Most people put items on there that they spend time researching and want for one reason or another.  Respect that and don't buy people a different model/cheaper model/color you like/etc.  Or they are going to end up like the girl with the vacuum that doesn't fit her needs.
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  • socks17socks17
    First Comment

    Keep it simple.  If your really concerned add some everyday items cleaning supplies, your prefered laundry soap, heck we registered for cat food!  THink about it if someone gives you $20 worth of cleaning supplies, it's $20 dollars that you don't have to spend on them and can use for whatever you want....in my eyes that's pretty close to cash!   Just a suggestion!!

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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dont-know-what-to-put-on-our-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:a588898e-cafe-46bd-8dcd-0eb189413fe6Post:04b76bc7-1222-49cf-a4a9-ca8a952cc763">Re: Don't know what to put on our registry.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Keep it simple.  If your really concerned add some everyday items cleaning supplies, your prefered laundry soap, heck we registered for cat food!  THink about it if someone gives you $20 worth of cleaning supplies, it's $20 dollars that you don't have to spend on them and can use for whatever you want....in my eyes that's pretty close to cash!   Just a suggestion!!
    Posted by socks17[/QUOTE]

    OP, I wouldn't register for cat food. I would think a lot of guests would side eye that or other things like 409 and shampoo and tampons.
    Lizzie
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  • librababylibrababy
    First Comment
    I just got back from my registry appointment I out things like:
    towels
    dish towels
    placemats
    glasses
    blender
    toaster oven
    tea kettle
    rice cooker
    griddle
    a comforter set
    bathroom set for toothbrushes and soap
    casserole dishes
    salad bowls (the huge serving ones)
    cutting board
    utensils....etc..
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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