Bad Etiquette?

ksblumb

This is a mobile post, so advanced apologies if the spacing or paragraphs mess up...

My FI and I are having a small ceremony with supper following this winter. There will be about 40 guests, and no 'formal reception' ... Just a nice, family supper. Maybe a small toast, but no cutting the caking, dj, etc.

Is it acceptable not to have a gift registry under these circumstances? I dont want it to look like we just expect cash, but a registrary seems unnecessary with such a small guest list.

artbyallie

A registry is fine. People will ask about/look for one so they know what you would like. And you are having a reception, which is by definition the refreshments you provide as a thank you to the people who attended your wedding.

People will want to bring gifts, whether they prefer to give money or a boxed present.

Avion22

You don't have to do a registry if you don't want to.   It's okay to do one, but it's by no means required.   

MrsGandthebeag

You don't need a registry.  You just can't have a shower if you don't have a registry.

theelusive1

I would do a small registry, there are some people that only give a boxed gift. You can always use kitchen or bath towels. If you don't pick these people will and you will get a chia pet bald man head.  If you register you can always return/exchange for something else. Heck if you register at walmart you could return for store credit and use it on food. 

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ad275f18-8923-404b-972c-7b5478c35383Post:25f2e05a-898c-447c-b0b7-d9d2191377ef">Re: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't need a registry.  You just can't have a shower if you don't have a registry.
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

<div>No.  You shouldn't have a shower if you don't want physical gifts, but there's no rule that you need to decline showers if you don't register.  It makes it easier for guests to shop for you if you register, but it's not required.  </div>

MrsGandthebeag

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ad275f18-8923-404b-972c-7b5478c35383Post:503c3592-08be-4436-94ef-5eb27c5c2747">Re: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bad Etiquette? : No.  You shouldn't have a shower if you don't want physical gifts, but there's no rule that you need to decline showers if you don't register.  It makes it easier for guests to shop for you if you register, but it's not required.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

<div>I disagree with you.  The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts.  I don't like showers to start with and certainly don't want to watch a bride open a bunch of gift cards/envelopes with money.  </div>

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bad-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ad275f18-8923-404b-972c-7b5478c35383Post:86eddc06-d6c3-48fa-9a3e-e344cfb9c232">Re: Bad Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bad Etiquette? : I disagree with you.  The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts.  I don't like showers to start with and certainly don't want to watch a bride open a bunch of gift cards/envelopes with money.  
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

<div>No, you didn't understand my post.  If a bride doesn't want physical gifts, she shouldn't have a shower.  But just because someone does not register, does not mean she doesn't want physical gifts.  Guests are always free to give any gift of their choosing.  </div><div>
</div><div>I don't like the "no registry, no shower" mentality because I think it feeds into the view that guests must always buy from the registry.  If I received a shower invitation with no registry information, I would go pick out a gift for the bride on my own, which is what I do sometimes even when there is a registry.</div>

s-aries8990

You don't need to register for a fine china set, but maybe you need serving wear for Christmas, or your plastic serving/cooking spoons/ pasta spoons have all melted? Maybe your wooden cutting board broke, or is all worn out? You don't need one, but who doens't like fresh fluffy towels?

Jen4948

There's definitely no requirement that you register.

I disagree with MrsGandthebag that you shouldn't have a shower if you don't register-there's no connection.  People not of your immediate family can throw you a shower and bring whatever gifts they like to it if they prefer to do so.   If someone gives you a shower, then you do have to graciously accept and acknowledge whatever you are given as a gift there.  That said, you don't have to keep it-provided you are discreet, you can dispose of the gift as you see fit.

KaitheyMartin

See, Guests will bring gifts, if you make registry or not... So, its better to make one small, to avoid unwanted gifts