Registry and Gift Forum
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Registry vent!

Sorry, but I have to do this.
We followed the registry guidelines(i.e. registering for both expenisive things and inexpensive things), we registered very early, we made our registry easy to find and use, we even gave the option of just sending money to help us get to our honeymoon and we STILL got garbage!
We got some things that we didn't register for, such as a large, orange, plastic butterfly ornament, a set of 3 cheap bar-fruit cutting boards, a Dollar Tree chalk board.(I know it's from Dollar Tree because I saw it there 2 days before my wedding)
I could think of this all by the old adage "It's the thought that counts" but some of these gifts were completely thoughtless. For instance, I got a food processor that I never would have registered for(I already have one I never use) from my cousin who got married about 9 months ago. As I was trying to find where I could exchange this, I found it was from Williams Sonoma. Who do you think was registered at Willliams Sonoma for her wedding? The same cousin. I got a regifted food processor. And whats worse is becuase Williams Sonoma doesn't carry the food processor anymore, I am stuck with it. THOUGHTLESS! It feels as though my husband, my wedding, and I were after-thoughts to all these people and that's what hurts the most.
And the moral of this story, boys and girls, is: Don't re-gift wedding presents! It sucks!
Thanks for the rant space.
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Re: Registry vent!

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    So, you're upset that people gave you gifts that they thought you would like?  

    Look, the economy sucks right now, and people don't have a lot of money to spend on gifts.  Yet instead of showing up empty-handed, they brought you things that they thought you would like and could use.  If you can't, then send them a nice thank-you note, then try to sell the gifts on ebay or craigslist, or consider donating them to a thrift store or charity where someone won't care that it has been "regifted" and will be a lot more grateful for them than you are.
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    Lol! My co-worker got a re-gift from her own sister. Her sister was married in August and my co-worker attended her bridal shower and wrote down all of the gifts for thank you cards. Then my co-worker went to the courthouse and got married in January and her sister gave her something that she made a huge stink about at the bridal shower since it wasn't on the registry. People get lazy. As PP said, try selling some on craigslist or ebay! And I would be super annoyed as well. I'm really hoping for lots and lots of gift cards and cash.
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    edited March 2012
    I know that this is a board to talk about gifts, but this post sounds over-the-top entitled and selfish.  

    You're taking this all way too personally.  You're not entitled to any wedding gifts, so either try to sell what you don't want or donate the items, and then move on.  

    And maybe another moral of this story is don't have a HM registry?
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    Want to give me the food processor?  That's a really traditional wedding gift, and perhaps that cousin of yours got two of them and loves hers.  It's also really expensive.  Sorry about the dollar store stuff, but that happens as well.  Don't take it personally.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b044ec4c-2c6e-47a4-9c18-36ed82d7e434Post:8706cdec-ad27-4e19-888d-651e55055502">Re: Registry vent!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know that this is a board to talk about gifts, but this post sounds over-the-top entitled and selfish.   You're taking this all way too personally.  You're not entitled to any wedding gifts, so either try to sell what you don't want or donate the items, and then move on.   <strong>And maybe another moral of this story is don't have a HM registry?</strong>
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    <div>Perhaps this is it.  Many people say they would send a personalized toilet paper cover (or the like) in response to a cash registry.  Perhaps the cash registry offended people, and this is how they responded.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Or maybe people saw the same attitude about gifts that you've displayed in this post.</div>
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    Like others have already said, be thankful for any gifts you received. It is not a requirement that anyone attending a wedding must give a gift. Yes it sucks you got something you can't return, but be grateful for any gifts received.
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    OP, what is really thoughtless is your attitude. Maybe people were offended by your greedy request for cash. You do know people are not required to give you any gifts so you really have no right to complain about the gifts you did get.
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    Agree - you sound spoiled, greedy, and entitled.  No one has to give you a gift, ever. 

    Send me the food processor.  I can promise you that I'll appreciate it, if you don't.
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    I understand where you're coming from. I don't think you're a horrible selfish person like these people are commenting. You put A LOT of thought and resources into planning a wedding reception. The wedding recpetion isn't about you, it's all about your guests and you just want that same thought and attention put back into your gift. I hear ya! It's not about the item, it's about the sentiment that people put into it. Instead of a dollar tree item, a well written card with a home made coupon book with items like "help unpack moving boxes" "future 5 hours of babysitting" etc. would have been more meaningful if times are tight.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b044ec4c-2c6e-47a4-9c18-36ed82d7e434Post:f962d459-f9cd-4b6f-9113-de233d0c9da8">Re: Registry vent!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I understand where you're coming from. I don't think you're a horrible selfish person like these people are commenting. You put A LOT of thought and resources into planning a wedding reception. <strong>The wedding recpetion isn't about you, it's all about your guests and you just want that same thought and attention put back into your gift. I hear ya! It's not about the item, it's about the sentiment that people put into it</strong>. Instead of a dollar tree item, a well written card with a home made coupon book with items like "help unpack moving boxes" "future 5 hours of babysitting" etc. would have been more meaningful if times are tight.
    Posted by rgomez27941[/QUOTE]

    What you're missing is that gifts are not required from guests! Yes, most bring something, but not everyone can afford to give a grand gift. While something from the dollar tree may not be the ideal gift, it was thoughtful for them to give something.
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    You can always return these gifts you don't like, but don't be upset about the fact that people went out, found something they thought you would like, wrapped it, and brought to the wedding for you...regardless of what the gift was. 
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    I don't think your selfish at all. Obviously everyone else who commented got things that they loved and needed. A lot of time can go into planning a registry, and they were invented for a reason. You are trying to build a life together with your new husband and the point of the registry is to show people what you could really use as a new couple. I don't understand why people can't just by stuff of the registry, it's so simple to use. I don't even care if they don't take it off the list, at least it came from the same store you are registered at so you can return it and put the money toward something you actually liked! 
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    RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited March 2012
    Eeek, well I hope you got at least some things that were of use to you.
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    Well, next time, invite rich people so you get better stuff. Since that's why you're getting married, right?

    /sarcasm
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    I understand your frustration and while you did come off sounding entitled and selfish, I think that may just be a product of your frustration.  I know no one's entilted to gifts, but the dollar store chalk board would have got me, too.  I can't see anyone thinking you'd like that; maybe for a child's birthday or something, but not a wedding.  I would rather a person not give me anything at all than give something like that.

    As for the regifted items, as has been prviously suggested, try to resell them.  Also, just because W&S doesn't carry the food processor doesn't necessarily follow that they won't take it back.  I know other stores will take them back as long as they can see it's their merchandise.  You may get the lowest price it sold at for a certain period of time, but you might still get something.  Also, see if there's another store that does still carry it and take it back there.  Your sister may have thought you'd like the food processor, though and they are expensive and a traditional wedding gift.  I'd love to have one and hope someone gives me one, lol.
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    ceh789ceh789 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I think you should be sure to refer to their gifts as "garbage" when you write your thank you notes.  Then you won't have to worry about ever getting garbage from your "loved ones" again.
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     in a prior post you said you were having a dollar dance....
    just curious how that turned out.
    June 2012 Brides

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     To me the post sounds like if you don't get what you want then you don't want it. Maybe I am wrong and you are just hurt because you feel like no one cared. Either way saying you are "stuck" with a present is not true you can sell it and take the money and get something you want. Either way be happy you got something that is how I feel. I know you are thinking wait till you have your bridal shower but my family and I have already began buying what we could and saving for the big things that I want so I can make sure to have them. Just a thought if you want something imparticular buy it yourself  and you are guaranteed to have it.
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    kate&cor2012kate&cor2012 member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    Dollar dance, honeymoon registry, and you said you recieved garbage gifts? A wedding isn't a money/gift grab. Did you realize that no one HAS to give you a gift and that what you did was in very poor taste and this probably rubbed people the wrong way. The dollarstore gift would be sucky but I would laugh at that. However, they were a guest and you are the host and made a poor etiquitte choice, they didn't.
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