Number of Registries

dsimone43

Hey everyone -

How many places did you/have you/are you registering at?  Right now I have registries at:

Macy's: Practical stuff ie. bedding and luggage
Crate and Barrel: Kitchen, Entertaining and Home
Williams Sonoma: "Nice" cooking stuff and a set of pots and pans.  I love to cook.
Bloomies: "Nice" home decor and stemware

Is this overkill?  We are also booking our honeymoon soon and would add that registry to our website too.  If you look at each store, we aren't registered for a whole lot at all of them... but I'm worried about it looking ridiculous.  I just don't want people buying us luggage from bloomies when they can get it cheaper at macy's... and blah blah.

What do you think? 

dsimone43

Ahh ok.  I didn't think about the Honeymoon Reg like that.  The website allows you to buy a dinner, activity or massage.  Maybe that would only be something to share with immediate family. 

LeiselEB

Many of those websites that let people buy excursions, or meals or whatnot, actually take a percentage of what your guests give and write you a check for the rest - they don't actually "buy" these gifts. You're better off skipping it. You'll get plenty of cash.

I also have 4 registries, and I think that's perfectly fine, though some will say it's too much. I'm actually registered at all the same stores as you except W&S - we did a local store

teralicious

I personally think 4 is way too many and anything over 4 I clearly think you are being greedy. I think 1-2 is fine, maybe 3 if it is some small specialty store or something. 

Ali092011

If you're just starting out and you need pretty much everything, I would say up to three is fine. If you're mostly registering for upgrades, I think two is the maximum.

As a guest, I would feel overwhelmed with four registries. I just wouldn't know where to start and I would wonder what you wanted/needed the most. I'd honestly rather see bigger registries at two stores than tiny registries at four stores. That way I can comfortably walk into, say, Macy's, and know that I WILL leave with a gift, because there are plenty of options.

However, I think many people think four is perfectly fine. FI and I only registered at one place because we don't need a whole lot, and BBB offered pretty much everything we could have thought to register for.

morenachica110

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:2043068c-90f2-4f87-a125-4e685cb8f5f9">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think 4 is a lot, but I would stop with those and skip the HMR.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>This,</div>

hoffse

I don't think 4 is too many.  I haven't seen less than 4 in my circle in ages, because almost everybody I know is starting out from scratch.  I've seen up to 6 several times now, and that didn't bother me either.  Personally, I think "greedy" is better defined by the gifts you're selecting... like the girls I know who both registered for $575 place settings of their china and will throw a fit if they don't get all 12.  That's greedy.  4 places when you have a bunch of things under $25 is giving your guests options.

Besides, I always wonder how many people look at these websites anyway.  Maybe it's just me, but I was completely unaware of them until TK.  I think that odds are your guests will start their search in the obvious places - Macy's, BBB, WS, and PB - and will probably stop at the first store they find with your name on it.  A few may ask you directly, and again you can list one or two places.  You're not obligated to broadcast every store where you're registered.

Ditto PP's about the HM registry.  You can quietly let the people closest to you know that you're saving for a HM without registering with the agency.

dsimone43

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.  Your help is appreciated.  The "clearly think you're being greedy" comment was a little unnecessary, seeing as you don't know how many guests would be attending our wedding or what we actually registered for.  Hoffse, thanks for your feedback on that.  I may try to reorganize and consolidate, but the HM reg is definitely going good bye. 

AurorasEnvy

I agree, I think 4 is the boundary of okay in my opinion - but I think 5 would be too much.

I think it also depends on where all your guests are coming from - I love Crate&Barrel and Macy's (which we registered at) but they don't have either of those stores close to where my FI is from (and all of his family still lives), so I registered at BBB as well.  Plus, I definitely couldn't have added all the items we wanted from just 2 of those stores.

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:48699685-ad5b-4c6e-9c41-41a9fed8c99e">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think 4 is way too many and anything over 4 I clearly think you are being greedy. I think 1-2 is fine, maybe 3 if it is some small specialty store or something. 
Posted by teralicious[/QUOTE]

<div>Um, OP?  Yeah you asked what people thought.  And she told you.  You don't get to dictate how people respond, so saying that her comment was unnecessary was...unnecessary.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW, 4 seems like one too many, but its not ridiculous.  You can get great stemwear at Williams Sonoma.  Skip the honeymoon registry.  They are generally considered rude (note: I did not call YOU rude, I said that the HM registry is generally considered rude).</div>

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:85ba911a-758e-4bfc-9b74-c2063ee33c35">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think 4 is too many.  I haven't seen less than 4 in my circle in ages, because almost everybody I know is starting out from scratch.  I've seen up to 6 several times now, and that didn't bother me either.  Personally, I think "greedy" is better defined by the gifts you're selecting... like the girls I know who both registered for $575 place settings of their china and will throw a fit if they don't get all 12.  That's greedy.  4 places when you have a bunch of things under $25 is giving your guests options. Besides, I always wonder how many people look at these websites anyway.  Maybe it's just me, but I was completely unaware of them until TK.  I think that odds are your guests will start their search in the obvious places - Macy's, BBB, WS, and PB - and will probably stop at the first store they find with your name on it.  A few may ask you directly, and again you can list one or two places.  You're not obligated to broadcast every store where you're registered. Ditto PP's about the HM registry.  You can quietly let the people closest to you know that you're saving for a HM without registering with the agency.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>There are so many reasons for having more than just 1-2 registries, and it's NOT about greed. Others may disagree, but I don't think someone having 4 registries implies that they want a lot of stuff and expect everyone to buy it for them. It's ridiculous to make such assumptions about a person based on the stores they've chosen to register at. 

</div>

dsimone43

Asking a question on a wedding forum does not mean that the original poster needs to open themselves to rude assumptions and ridicule.  And then not defend myself when my character is blatantly insulted?  You don't need to read me the rule book.  It's a registry board.  Be helpful.  Not nasty. 

Also, a wedding registry is never full of gifts that you "expect" to get... Therefore a honeymoon registry would not be that either. 

Ali092011

I don't think is necessarily helpful or constructive to call someone greedy, BUT, as freebread and edie said, you don't get to decide what responses you get.

It IS helpful for you to know (since you ASKED) that you may have some guests who are put off by four registries, like tetra and like me.

LeiselEB

OP: I think it might be helpful to think about past weddings you've gone to - how many registries did they have? 3-5 registries is common in my area, so I think nothing of having 4, and neither will my guests. But if the norm in your area or among your friends/family is only one registry, then you might want to rethink it. 

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:9b57b943-27df-4f86-8937-2a8d1fa57d4a">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Asking a question on a wedding forum does not mean that the original poster needs to open themselves to rude assumptions and ridicule.  And then not defend myself when my character is blatantly insulted?  You don't need to read me the rule book.  It's a registry board.  Be helpful.  Not nasty.  Also, a wedding registry is never full of gifts that you "expect" to get... Therefore a honeymoon registry would not be that either. 
Posted by dsimone43[/QUOTE]

<div>But didn't you ask what people thought?  And someone told you she thought it was greedy.  Wouldn't you rather than some anonymous people on the internet who will never meet you think this and then tell you than have a friend or family member think "wow that's greedy?"  Point being that you asked, she told you, and frankly if one person on this forum thought that, then chances are one or more of your guests will think that (but, like I said in my PP, I don't think 4 is ridiculous).</div><div>
</div><div>FTR, posting something on a public internet forum opens you up to whatever you get.  People can say whatever they want--whether its nice or not.  </div>

Simply Fated

Macy's: Practical stuff ie. bedding and luggage
Crate and Barrel: Kitchen, Entertaining and Home
Williams Sonoma: "Nice" cooking stuff and a set of pots and pans.  I love to cook.
Bloomies: "Nice" home decor and stemware




What do you mean by "nice?"

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:bb1183e5-5bfa-4e6b-ac6d-18b966c0ac6d">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Macy's: Practical stuff ie. bedding and luggage Crate and Barrel: Kitchen, Entertaining and Home Williams Sonoma: "Nice" cooking stuff and a set of pots and pans.  I love to cook. Bloomies: "Nice" home decor and stemware What do you mean by "nice?"
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Bloomingdale's and W&S are a step up from Macy's and C&B, and are a little bit more high end in terms of housewares - that's probably what she means by nice. "Nice" is a relative term, but I'm guessing that's what she meant. </div>

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:9b57b943-27df-4f86-8937-2a8d1fa57d4a">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Asking a question on a wedding forum does not mean that the original poster needs to open themselves to rude assumptions and ridicule.  And then not defend myself when my character is blatantly insulted?  You don't need to read me the rule book.  It's a registry board.  Be helpful.  Not nasty.  Also, a wedding registry is never full of gifts that you "expect" to get... Therefore a honeymoon registry would not be that either. 
Posted by dsimone43[/QUOTE]
With over 200 comments, I'd think that you've been on these boards long enough to know that the ladies can be brutally honest & very blunt on here. Just like in person, you can't control what someone else says. At the same time, you don't have to agree with it, or listen to it.<div>
</div><div>To answer your question, I think 4 is probably the max I'd think is OK. There are a lot of factors that we don't know, such as the # of guests, the price break down of gifts & how many gifts are on each registry. Those things make a huge difference. </div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, I have 3 registries & they're all pretty packed. I have a wide range of prices with more in the <$25 range than above. We're just starting out & have absolutely nothing. We just got an apartment & it's bare. Seriously, bare. All of our guests know this about us, so even if we had 4 registries, I know that my guests wouldn't find it gift grabby because it makes sense in the situation.</div><div>
</div><div>You're the only one that knows the answers to these questions & the only one that knows your guests. If you're hesitant enough to ask on a public forum, then maybe you should consolidate 2 of them into one (perhaps the Macy's and Bloomingdales?). If it doesn't bother you, then leave it!</div>

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_number-of-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b6e79a00-3520-4888-828e-2b79a501a063Post:979ede17-b437-41dc-91dc-723f155832b8">Re: Number of Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]OP: I think it might be helpful to think about past weddings you've gone to - how many registries did they have? 3-5 registries is common in my area, so I think nothing of having 4, and neither will my guests. But if the norm in your area or among your friends/family is only one registry, then you might want to rethink it. 
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I think this is good advice too.  I had never heard of the "3 registries max" rule until TK but my circle does between 4-6 usually, like I said earlier.  This is largely because there aren't a lot of major retailers in my hometown (just Kohl's and a very high end china store - you need something in between), and when people have out-of-town guests the registry lists tend to expand from there to give people options.  But keep in mind too that in my circle we do registry gifts for both the shower and the wedding and any other holiday/special occassions before then... and weddings here are often in the neighborhood of 200-500+ guests, so you need a LOT of gift options because it's considered rude around here to basically back people into a gift corner with a bare registry. Please believe me when I say it gets talked about.  That said, OP, your circle may be different.  Just make sure you're confident in your choice and give people options.  As long as you aren't expecting your whole registry to be bought out then I think you can do whatever you want in terms of retail.  Glad to hear you're nixing the HM registry.</div>

Summer2011Bride

OP, I like the advice of think what your circle does. Think of the past 4 or 5 weddings you've attended. How many registries did they have? Were guests OK with that number? In my circle, 2 is the norm, 3 is the max, and anything more is unheard of and would be side-eyed.

The Cliff Note version of HM registries: It is rude because you are essentially asking for cash. When someone goes to buy you, say, a dinner on your HM, they are not actually making a reservation and paying the restaurant for you. They are paying the website, which may take a cut of the pay first of all, and then the website writes you a check. A check which you could spend on anything--new shoes--if you wanted to. It may not be used for the intended purpose, and if the guests truly wanted to write you a check, they could do so without the middle man. Hence, HM registries are deceitful and frankly, pointless. Plus, a HM is a glorified vacation. I personally don't feel like paying for someone else's vacation if I can't afford my own;' I would much rather help you set up your first house together with some home essentials, as would many other people.