Money Donation to Charity or Gift Registry

JennyGirl35

Hi all!

My Fiance and I got into a pickle recently when we started talking about registering for wedding gifts. I mentioned that I would much rather ask that our guests make a donation to the Wounded Warrior Project (because I have a strong connection and bond with that charity from my own military experience) rather than recieve gifts. 

He's not really going for it because he likes the idea of physically getting a gift...

He and I are not strapped for cash and have everything we could possibly need in our home so I'm not sure what we would even ask for! 

Do any of you have any ideas of how I can convince him to go along with my idea? Or do you think it would be tacky for word to spread that our guests can choose from the gift registry or a donation to WWP? 

Thanks!!

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-donation-to-charity-or-gift-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:b8dfe38b-d765-4af5-afd0-fac635ef3d00Post:8f37e2a0-28d1-4779-be7c-5d840b86101c">Money Donation to Charity or Gift Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all! My Fiance and I got into a pickle recently when we started talking about registering for wedding gifts. I mentioned that I would much rather ask that our guests make a donation to the Wounded Warrior Project (because I have a strong connection and bond with that charity from my own military experience) rather than recieve gifts.  He's not really going for it because he likes the idea of physically getting a gift... He and I are not strapped for cash and have everything we could possibly need in our home so I'm not sure what we would even ask for!  Do any of you have any ideas of how I can convince him to go along with my idea? Or do you think it would be tacky for word to spread that our guests can choose from the gift registry or a donation to WWP?  Thanks!!
Posted by JennyGirl35[/QUOTE]

Asking for donations in leiu of gifts is the same as asking for cash and is a big no no.  The only time (and I mean only time) it is acceptable is if you are marrying the future king of England and don't want 20,000 tea cozies headed your way by countrymen who adore you.

gailpete

Create a small registry of things in your home you may want to upgrade (linens, small appliances and such) for those guests that like to give a physical gift.  Your guests will understand that cash is always a welcome gift. You can then donate any money you receive to the charity of your choice.

The problem with requests for charitable donations is that no matter how noble you may feel that your charity is (and I agree that yours is a great cause) not everyone will agree and may be offended.  Also some may feel that you are being an AW, "hey look at me, I'm so noble, I don't want gifts and want to give all this to charity, aren't I generous).

LeiselEB

Even if you don't need anything, most people would rather give you money directly, or buy you a gift, than donate to a charity that might not be as near and dear to them as it is to you. 

I'd either make a registry with some upgrades (towels, sheets, home decor) or just make no registry and let people buy you things if they want to, or give you cash. You can then donate whatever amount you're comfortable with to the charity.

JennyGirl35

I didn't realize donating to a charity would be frowned upon. I had gotten the idea from a wedding magazine a few years ago and thought it would be perfect. I can see how someone would think I'd be trying to hoist myself up on a pedestal.

I didn't think about upgrading what we already have! That's actually a great idea thanks ladies

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-donation-to-charity-or-gift-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:b8dfe38b-d765-4af5-afd0-fac635ef3d00Post:e8d2b2dc-eba9-4a96-aad4-25316ee73a54">Re: Money Donation to Charity or Gift Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't realize donating to a charity would be frowned upon. I had gotten the idea from a <strong>wedding magazine</strong> a few years ago and thought it would be perfect. I can see how someone would think I'd be trying to hoist myself up on a pedestal. I didn't think about upgrading what we already have! That's actually a great idea :) thanks ladies
Posted by JennyGirl35[/QUOTE]

Avoid these at all costs.  They (including TK's magazine) are filled with horrible advice.

Avion22

Donating to charity isn't frowned upon at all.   But it is a personal decision, and you shouldn't involve your guests in it, or pressure them to donate to a charity that they may not agree with, then take credit for it.

If you want to donate to the Wounded Warrior Project (which I agree is a great charity), then keep your donations private.  If you want to do fundraising for this very worthy charity, then do it completely separate from your wedding -- run a 5K, have a bake-sale, or whatever.  But your wedding isn't a fundraiser.  Maybe you could register for upgrades to home items, then have a yard-sale of your old items and donate THAT money to Wounded Warrior Project?  

mbrischoux

Instead of just asking for donations to be made, perhaps you'd consider taking any monetary gits from your wedding (where I'm from, people generally give cash gifts at the wedding, "openable" gifts at the shower) and donate privately.  Don't even mention that you are donating the money to charity in thank you cards.  Just say "Thank you for your generous gift and for sharing in the joy of our day."

I really like Avion's idea of registering for gifts, selling your old stuff (coffee maker, dishes, ect) and using THAT money towards your donation, too.

Grits8812

It would be better if you just accepted any money gifts and later decided how you want to save/spend/donate.  Your charity could be a great cause that is doing amazing things, but not everyone agrees with the same charities.